Losing Control
by HighQueen
Summary: Squads are changed, confessions made, past sins dug up and hidden feelings discovered. Eren struggles with his conflicted feelings for Mikasa, now having to compete with Jean for her attention, and his own self-control, as the battle with the Titans rages outside the physical walls, and inside his own. MikaEren/ErenMika with one-sided JeanMika. Spoilers up till manga chapter 48.
1. Transfer

_Disclaimer: I don't own _進撃の巨人

_Author's Notes: So, I finally decided to do a multi-chaptered MikaEren! I've had this story planned out for weeks but just didn't have time to get it down on paper. And I also had writer's block. However, I read some amazing SnK fanfics which gave me inspiration (two are listed in the author's notes at the end of the chapter) and finally had a few hours free today, so wrote this down._

_This fic will probably be 3-5 chapters long at the max, but maybe more if I really decide to develop it. It's a romance/action with some angst in the middle (nothing too bad, I promise!) Sorry if the length of the chapter bothers anyone! I have a propensity for writing rather long chapters. _

_There will be Eren/Mikasa of course, along with some Jean/Mikasa (one-sided mostly). _

_I hope you enjoy it! Please read and review, and to those of you who have reviewed my other SnK works, thank you so much for your kind words! I really appreciated them, this one is for you guys!_

_Warning: I'm rating this as M because though there isn't any smut planned (hopefully my story won't write itself into smut as some of my previous ones have) there are some mentions of M-rated topics and language. And of course, violence, eventually with those Kyojin. _

_Also, I have used a couple Japanese words here and there (not many, only about three!) Just in the few cases where there isn't an English equivalent/the English equivalent bothers me. I hope this isn't a problem. The translations are provided at the bottom._

_Also, spoilers up to the most recent manga chapters!_

_**Edit: August 21st - edited some minor grammatical errors. Also edited out 1-2 portions of angsty!Eren because it seemed a bit OOC. A lot of reviews mentioned they found Jean a little OOC too in a certain part. I wrote him that way largely influenced by a lot of the Jean portrayals floating around on tumblr (that show him as Mikasa-sexual/a flirt/using lame pickup lines etc) but I realized that isn't quite true to his manga persona. I cut the scene from the story, but I've kept it at the very end as a kind of delete scenes/parody-type thing, so whoever is interested can still read it without worrying about it breaking the flow of the story for them. **_

* * *

**Losing Control**

**Chapter One: Transfer**

* * *

"Calm down," Armin muttered, patting Mikasa's arm. "Don't kill anyone, please."

"That damned midget," Mikasa snarled, her expression so frightening that even Jean was taken aback. Her death glare, however, was directed at one person.

"What's he even doing here," Connie wondered. "I thought he was injured after that whole female Titan fiasco…"

"Apparently he's recovered," Armin said, as Lance Corporal Levi limped through the crowd of soldiers. "Mikasa-"

"Didn't he help you rescue Eren?" Jean asked. "I'd think you would hate him less-"

"He may be good at slaying Titans," Mikasa spat, "but that doesn't change the fact that he's a sadistic four-foot little _greaseball_ that-"

"_Actually_ I am just over five feet, Ackerman," a cold voice drawled, "And not that it is any of your concern, but what I put in my hair is high quality _gel_."

Armin and Connie both gasped, and Jean looked quite taken aback by the sudden appearance of the Corporal. They all hastily stood up and saluted, Connie knocking over his chair in the process.

Mikasa did not such thing, though her expression increased its likeliness to some sort of demon queen as she glowered at Levi.

"You can sit down," Levi rolled his eyes at the saluting trio, before turning to meet Mikasa's murderous gaze.

"Ackerman."

"What?"

"Is that how you greet a superior?"

Mikasa swallowed, and then stood up, clenching her fist and curling it against her chest in a stiff salute.

_"_Levi-_heichou_," she muttered through gritted teeth, every syllable sounding like a curse.

"Walk with me."

"Wh-what?!" Mikasa was so taken aback that she even dropped her glare for a moment.

"There are things I'd like to discuss with you. Walk with me."

Mikasa narrowed her eyes.

"Is it about Eren? What did you-"

"Ackerman, it's an order," Levi snapped, and Mikasa grudgingly followed him out of the hall, as every single soldier in the room stared after them.

"What could he possibly want with Mikasa?" Jean sounded more than a little concerned. "This is the first time he's even been out of his room since his injury, and he wants to talk to her?"

"He was limping," Connie whispered, awed. "Must've been something pretty important for him to come get her himself…"

Armin picked at his food uneasily.

_Erd Gin. Petra Ral. Auruo Bossard. Gunter Shulz. The elite of the elite. Hand-picked by Lance Corporal Levi. Fearsome Titan slayers. Legends in their own right. Each holding their own records for titans killed. _

_And slaughtered. Every single one of them, wiped out. Dead. Gone._

"I – I don't have a good feeling about this at all," he muttered.

* * *

"It's always been a source of such bewilderment to me, you know?" Hanji's eyes glimmered fanatically, "Where do they _go_?!"

Eren shifted uncomfortably in his seat, not at all happy with the direction this conversation had taken. Of course, discussions with Hanji always tended to be _eccentric,_ to put it euphemistically, but this one in particular, took the cake.

"I mean, everything else stays in tact, you know, if not slightly off proportion. Limbs, features, eyes, ears! The female Titan even had a more distinguishable chest, if you catch my drift."

Eren exchanged uncomfortable glances with Keiji and Raye, the two other soldiers present in the room. Both were members of the Recon Corps, and both had been selected a couple weeks prior, as the newest additions to Levi's Special Operations Squad.

Or rather, as _replacements, _since all the previous members had died.

Both were older than Eren, in their mid-twenties. Keiji was big-boned, dark-skinned, with short, cropped dark hair and fierce eyes. Raye was of a slimmer build, fair-skinned, with black hair that swept across his forehead and light blue-grey eyes.

They were both amiable enough from what Eren knew of them, but he was becoming increasingly careful not to build any attachments.

It wasn't easy, since they trained together and had all their meals together, and even lived together, in a secluded part of the castle, away from all the other trainees. Eren had barely even seen Mikasa or Armin after the last disastrous mission.

He found he missed them more than he thought he would. They had never really been separated for long before, especially Eren and Mikasa, who had been together almost every single day of their lives since he had rescued her at the age of nine.

Eren found that he actually missed Mikasa, even with her constant fussing and nagging.

"-hanging around like oversized sausages, would be kind of awkward if your 3DMG got caught up in one, wouldn't it," Hanji was rattling on, but Eren had soon drifted off into his own thoughts, which was really the most effective strategy to counter Hanji's didactic tendencies.

Keiji on the other hand looked ready to vomit, and Raye quickly spat out the sausage he had been eating.

"Worse would be if you accidentally got knocked aside by one, hah, that's a tale to tell your fellow soldiers-"

"Hanji-san," Raye choked. "Please – could you not-"

_ I wonder what they're up to right now, Armin and Mikasa... _

He was interrupted from his thoughts however, by Hanji shaking his shoulder, her face eerily close to him and a disturbing gleam in her eyes.

"Have you then, Eren? Ever had sexual thoughts about her, ever been sexually excited by her presence-"

"Wh-what?!" Eren spluttered. "Hanji-san! She's my – she's family-"

"Hm, interesting that you would refer to her as that, but I suppose you are both of the same kind. Don't worry Eren, it would be only natural, given how close you two had to be during all the fighting."

"I don't – I've never –" Eren felt his face and neck heat up.

"I suppose the lack of sexual organs after transformation really did prevent you from experiencing any visceral response after all." Hanji looked disappointed. "Titan mating would certainly prove an interesting topic of study."

"Mating?! We don't bloody need more of them!" Keiji yelped.

"Wh – who are you even talking about?" Eren asked, bewildered. "Actually, forget it, I don't want to know…"

Fortunately, the grotesque conversation was cut short by the arrival of Levi.

"Heichou!" Eren cried, "You're walking! Your leg – "

"Has healed, Eren, yes." Levi sounded bored. "Not everyone posses instantaneous regeneration capabilities like you, but we do heal eventually. Next time, try not to get yourself kidnapped so easily, will you?"

Eren gulped.

"Of course, you already did," Levi noted. "I'm aware, Irvin told me. And it took him leading an army of Titans and your over-protective sister to set you free…"

"I – I'm sorry," Eren said. "I-"

"Drop it," Levi told him, "I have a little surprise for you all, though I think Eren in particular will find it to his liking."

"Did we capture another Titan?" Hanji asked hopefully.

"No," Levi said. "I have, however, just recruited the newest member of the Special Operations Squad."

"Oh?" Raye and Keiji both perked up at the mention of a new soldier joining them.

"Who is it?"

Eren was curious as well. From all the old Legion members, Levi had only selected two to be part of his team. Where would he suddenly find a third member from, unless…

"Hey," Mikasa nodded, stepping into the room.

"Mikasa!" Eren's eyes widened, his heart leaping to his throat.

Her face lit up when she saw him.

"Eren!"

"Our newest member." Levi gestured to her. "She graduated recently but I've fought alongside her myself, and she can probably kick all of your asses if she so wishes. Mikasa Ackerman, part of the 104th trainee squad, and the youngest member to join the Special Operations Squad in history."

* * *

"So… you're really here, huh? Part of the famous Special Operations Squad."

There was a tinge of jealousy in his voice, but Mikasa pretended not to notice it. She was just happy that she would finally get to be with Eren again, since she was now in the squad in charge of protecting him.

Levi had allowed them to take a walk around the castle grounds at night. Eren was never permitted to go out alone, and Levi had never fully trusted the other members of the squad with him, as talented as they may have been.

But for whatever reason, he had granted Mikasa's request. Eren was glad – he had been sick and tired of being cooped up inside, only allowed out of the castle for training with the other Spec Ops squad members.

"It's good. Now I can protect you."

Eren rolled his eyes at this, but was too pleased with the situation to snap at Mikasa as he usually did. Besides, he had come to miss her, over-protectiveness and all.

Not that he would ever tell her that; if he did, he surmised Mikasa would become intolerable.

"So I guess that means we'll be training together again, from tomorrow."

"Actually…" Mikasa trailed off, looking uncertain for a moment.

"What's up?" Eren asked her.

"Levi-heichou said – he said something about how he would be training me privately…"

She had hesitated saying the words, knowing what Eren's response would be like. His face darkened slightly.

"Why would he do that? What's wrong with having you train with the rest of us?"

"I don't know, he didn't give any reasons," Mikasa lied.

He had, though. Levi had told her that she was talented, far more talented than any of them. He thought that in time, given proper training, she could match even him. And that's what he wanted – to raise another soldier, as powerful as him, one that could be trusted to act in his stead.

Eren saw right through her feeble lie.

"Guess the famous Mikasa is too good for the rest of us, huh," he scoffed, his voice laced with bitterness. "Youngest member of the Spec Ops, and whatnot, _plus _special training with the corporal…"

"Eren, it's not like that. Please don't make it like that…" she pleaded.

Mikasa's heart sank. She had been so happy at the chance to fight alongside Eren, at the opportunity to grow stronger so that she could protect him better. But she had known, all along, that Eren wouldn't take it well.

He had always hated being reminded of the fact that she was stronger than him. And ever since they had been kids, he had always hated the notion of her protecting him.

From the very first time, when as a furious, nine-year old, he tried to beat up the boys who had been staring at her – and earned a black eye and bloody nose in the process – Mikasa had retaliated then, lashing out at the boys with her small but powerful fists, sending them packing. He'd been bitter then, and angry with her, though she couldn't understand why.

Armin had explained it to her later.

'He likes being the one protecting you,' Armin had said, 'Not the other way around. That's why it bothers him. He feels like it's wrong and he's not strong enough.'

But ever since then, it had always been that way. Mikasa knew it bothered Eren, but that wasn't enough to stop her, especially when his life was in danger.

* * *

A part of Eren had been excited by the prospect of getting to train with Mikasa again. But of course, he should have expected that she'd be too far ahead of him, even now.

Still, from the corner of his eye, he saw her slump slightly, the light going out of her eyes. He'd hurt her feelings with his little outburst, and Eren felt worse than before.

He knew he was often short with Mikasa. He knew she didn't deserve it. He felt guilty about it later too, a lot. But somehow, he could never stop himself at the moment, or bring himself to face her and apologize later.

"How are Armin, and all the others?" Eren asked, in way of changing the topic.

"They're fine," Mikasa said, easily enough, adopting her stoic mask again. "Armin misses you though."

"I was never really allowed to go out by myself to see you guys," Eren shrugged. "I managed to sneak out once, a week ago, but none of you were there."

"You shouldn't sneak out like that, it's unsafe!" Mikasa reprimanded him, but Eren ignored her.

"Apparently you'd gone out riding, that's what the stable boy had said."

"Yeah, they make us go out on our horses twice a week, to practice formations and ground fighting with the 3DMG," Mikasa said.

"We do that too. I wonder why we never have practice together though…"

"It's because of those three," Mikasa said, and Eren didn't have to ask her for clarification. "Ever since the fiasco with them, Irvin-danchou has become extremely suspicious of all the soldiers. They've posted guards on all the bunkers now, and that's why they moved you and your squad away. Anyone could turn out to be a Titan shifter. They've moved Annie away too, to some secret location that none of us know about, to prevent her from being kidnapped or rescued."

"Makes sense," Eren said, scowling as he remembered the soldiers who he had once considered his friends, "Can't believe them though! Bertholdt and Reiner seemed like such nice guys! I didn't really know Ymir. And Christa, I can't believe Christa chose them!"

"They're all traitors," Mikasa said viciously. "The next time I see them, I'll be cutting all their necks."

She sounded determined, and it bothered Eren. Mikasa had killed a man before, once, when they were nine, and he had killed two. But still, hearing her talk like this, like a cold-blooded killer, made him feel uneasy.

He remembered her as she once was, young, soft, innocent, wide dark eyes that sparkled when he told her stories about the outside world, a sweet smile, long hair that whipped around in the wind and he'd sometimes liked to play with when she feel asleep next to him in the meadow where they had gathered wood together, her head resting on his shoulder…

_You were supposed to stay like that, Mikasa. You were never supposed to become a soldier like me. I was supposed to protect you from all of that._

"Do you want to go see them?" Mikasa asked suddenly, jolting him from his thoughts.

"Who?"

"Armin, and the rest. They'll probably be free now, for an hour or so before we all have to go to bed."

"Yeah," Eren nodded, brightened by the prospect of seeing their fellow squad mates. "Yeah, let's go see them."

* * *

They found Armin with Connie and Jean, lounging around outside the bunkers.

"Eren!" Armin and Connie sprung up when they saw him, rushing forward. "Long time!"

"Armin, Connie," Eren nodded, greeting them, before looking over at the other boy who was slowly walking towards them. "Jean."

"Eren." Jean nodded curtly. "Good to see you."

His gaze, however, was fixed on the girl next to Eren.

"So?" he asked Mikasa. "Is Levi-heichou stealing you away from us?"

"If you mean I'm joining his squad, then yes," Mikasa said.

"I just knew it," Armin said, as Connie whistled.

"That's Mikasa for you," Connie said, sounding awed. "Everyone's talking about how you're the youngest soldier to be recruited, though I'm surprised you've decided this quickly!"

"What do you mean?" Eren furrowed his eyebrows. "Why wouldn't she?"

"Well," Connie broke off awkwardly, realizing his slip up. "It's just – they're sent on the most dangerous missions you know. And after the last squad was wiped out altogether…"

Eren's stomach plummeted.

_Because of me. They all died because of me._

There was no way he would let that happen with Mikasa though. Just no way.

_Never again. _

"Of course she'd take it, Mikasa loves risking her life for Eren, haven't you noticed?" Jean said acerbically. "She's making a hobby out of it, it seems."

"Jean," Mikasa said, a hint of warning in her tone.

Jean's hazel eyes narrowed defiantly, and he ground his teeth together.

"Mikasa – could I talk to you – alone please?" he bit out finally.

Eren was taken aback by this.

_Why does he want to talk to her alone?_

To his surprise, Mikasa agreed.

"Sure," she said, though her face was blank as she followed Jean a little away from the other three, till they were out of earshot.

Eren looked after them confused and Connie whistled again.

"The idiot! He's finally cracked! He's been talking about doing it for a couple weeks but I never thought he'd have the balls to go through with it!"

"With what? What is he doing? What are you talking about?" Eren asked Connie.

"Poor Jean," Armin said sadly. "It's going to crush him."

"Why do you say that?" Connie asked. "Jean's a great guy, one of the best! Sasha told me tons of the girls in the barracks are talking about him, they find him really attractive too."

"Still, it's Mikasa." Armin shook his head. "I know her."

"Can someone tell me what's going on?" Eren snapped.

He didn't know why, but the site of Jean leading Mikasa away to talk to her in private irked him.

"Oh gee, isn't it obvious Eren!" Connie exclaimed. "Jean's finally asking Mikasa out!"

* * *

Jean folded his arms, leaning against the wall.

"Sooo…" he rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, twisting the material of his shirt together with his other hand. "Now that you got me here and alone, whaddya wanna talk about?"

"_You _bought me here," Mikasa deadpanned.

"Heh heh," Jean chuckled awkwardly. "Of course I did."

"What did you want to talk about?"

"How have you been doing?" Jean asked casually.

"Jean. If you have something important to say, say it."

_Ouch. She gets right to the point, doesn't she. _

Jean hesitated for a moment. Mikasa could be pretty cold when she wanted to. Still, it had been bothering him for a long time, and Jean had always been one to speak his mind.

_Oh, to hell with it._

"I don't think you should join the Special Operations Squad, Mikasa."

_There. I said it, right out. _

Mikasa's face was blank, but her voice was icy when she spoke.

"And why not?"

* * *

Eren was losing his patience.

"I don't get why it's so important that he needs to talk to her alone."

"What part of 'he's asking her out' did you not get?" Connie stared at Eren in bewilderment.

"I don't care what he's doing. He's wasting our time, Mikasa and I need to get back," Eren growled, stalking off towards the duo.

"Yo Eren, don't be such a cockblock," Connie called after him.

"Eren." Armin gripped his arm. "It's probably best you let them sort it out themselves."

* * *

"It's dangerous. Probably the most dangerous squad there is out there," Jean said.

"I am stronger than all of you."

Her voice was cold, but not arrogant. And what she said was nothing but the truth. Still, it stung.

"So were the other members of the squad. Petra, Aurou and the rest. Legends among mankind. That didn't stop the female Titan from wiping them out."

"Annie is rotting in her stupid crystal-"

"That doesn't matter! It's still dangerous Mikasa, and I know you're strong, but you're not like them! You're not even an adult yet! It's too early for you to be joining them!"

"Eren's there. They protect him. All I ever wanted to do was protect Eren."

_Eren. Always fucking Eren. You can't see past that can you?_

That stung him more than anything else she could say, but Jean had known it all along. Still-

"All for Eren? The very same Eren who tried to _kill _you-"

"_Shut up!"_

Her voice was cold as ever this time, but there was something in it that made a chill run down Jean's spine. He looked at her carefully, and noticed that her dark eyes were glistening.

He melted.

"_Mikasa_." he took a step towards her. "I'm sorry, I'm _so _sorry, but I've seen it, you know. I've seen you. You act all tough and defend him, but it hurt you too, didn't it?"

"Shut up. You don't know anything." Mikasa took a step away from him.

"Why can't you see, Mikasa? You only see him, but there are others here too, who care about you."

"No." Mikasa shook her head. "Stop it. I don't want to hear this."

"_I _care about you, Mikasa. You're one of the reasons why I'm still fighting on in this god-forsaken place, fighting those fucking giant bastards when all I wanted my entire life was to join the Imperial Police and live _behind _the walls! But still, when I thought of you outside, risking your life, I just didn't think I had it in me to stay behind them!"

* * *

Eren froze, Jean's words echoing in his head.

_I care about you. _

_You're one of the reasons why I'm still fighting. _

He felt like an eavesdropper, an intruder at that moment. He had never suspected that Jean felt so strongly about Mikasa.

_How? He doesn't even know her that well! He barely knows her at all, compared to me. I've been with her for years!_

It churned his gut to hear Jean spew out such nonsense about caring and fighting to Mikasa.

_You don't understand anything! You haven't seen anything yet. You don't know what it means to care about someone, you don't know what it means to fight, to truly fight. _

Images flashed before his eyes – Mikasa, curled up on the floor, her hands bound, a smudge of blood on the corner of her lips… a huge hand curling around his mother, lifting up… blood, blood splattering everywhere…

* * *

"Jean…" Mikasa's eyes were wide, "You – you can't mean that."

"I do." Jean took a step forward, placing his hands on her shoulders. "I know we haven't known each other as long as you've known Eren and Armin. But from the day I saw you, something about you just to drew me to you, Mikasa. I only ever cared about myself and my own safety. But I don't know why, off late, in regards to you, I find myself thinking about you and worrying about you, and I think I might-"

"Mikasa!"

Mikasa sprung back away from him, and Jean muttered a string of curses.

"Are you fucking blind, Eren?" Jean glared at the brown-haired boy, the very root of all his problems. "Can't you see we're trying to have a conversation!"

"Please, like Mikasa is interested in anything you have to say to her," Eren scoffed at him.

"Why you little-" Jean growled, starting forward, but Mikasa put a hand on his arm.

Her touch was gentle, barely there, just four fingers on his wrist, restraining him, but Jean found it affecting him nonetheless.

"Mikasa, come on," Eren said. "Let's head back."

"Eren. You go wait with Armin. I'll be there in a few minutes."

Both Jean and Eren stared at her. Jean could hardly believe his ears.

"It's fine, Eren. Go ahead. I need to talk to Jean. I'll be there soon."

Eren's face darkened.

"Talk to him all you want, like I care," he snapped. "Just hurry the hell up, or I'm walking back alone."

"You can't, I'm not supposed to let you out of my sight-"

"Well I don't want to be yelled at by Levi-heichou because of _you_!"

And then he stormed off, leaving Mikasa looking after him helplessly.

Jean realized his mouth was open, and quickly closed it.

_Screw you, Eren! If it were anyone but you, I'd say they were jealous. But knowing you, you're just probably behaving like the selfish brat that you are. _

* * *

"Eren, is everything okay?" Armin hurried towards his fuming friend. "You look upset, is something wrong?"

"Mikasa's being a pain, _as usual, _that's what's wrong," Eren muttered.

"Mikasa? You're mad at Mikasa again? What did she even do?"

"She – um…" Eren trailed off.

_Crap. I snapped at her again, and she didn't even do anything. This is all Jean's fault, the asshole! But why do I even feel so angry?_

* * *

"Mikasa, you can go, we'll talk later," Jean muttered, watching her out of the corner of his eyes.

He hated how Eren treated her, and he hated even more how it affected _him _to see her hurt.

"No, no it's fine." Mikasa slipped on her impassive mask again. "He'll wait for me."

"Mikasa, you don't have to hide it, not in front of me. I can see how it hurts you. I kind of understand, you know, in a weird way."

Mikasa narrowed her eyes at him again, and Jean sighed.

"Sometimes you chase too hard after someone who's just not into it, you know. I get it."

Mikasa frowned slightly at this.

"Everything you said to me just now… did you truly mean it?"

He felt like her dark eyes were gazing into his very soul, and Jean felt his heart flutter.

"What does it matter, even if I did," he mumbled to the ground, his cheeks reddening.

"Jean… there are only so few people I have the capacity to care about anymore. The world we live in is cruel, and this fate was decided for me six years ago."

She sounded apologetic. It was a rejection, as gentle of one as she could give him.

"You said that before. When we were fighting those Bertholdt and the rest. What did you mean, six years ago? What happened then?"

Mikasa's eyes glossed over.

"I'm sorry, I'd really rather not talk about it."

"Oh, okay. Sorry for prying. That's cool."

There was an awkward silence then, and Jean shuffled his feet.

"You care a lot about Eren, don't you Mikasa?"

"What are you getting at, Jean?"

"Is he really just a brother to you?"

"…"

"Or something more?"

"…"

"It's okay," Jean laughed bitterly, "The world is funny like that. Most girls would consider me better looking than him, you know. I'm taller, and stronger too, if you don't count his Titan shifting abilities. I could probably be nicer too, and I'd treat you right, try to protect you-"

"Eren has protected me before," Mikasa said fiercely. "When we were kids, he saved my life! And then again-"

"He also tried to kill you!"

"Stop bringing that up! It was an accident! He wasn't in his right mind!"

Mikasa sounded tearful, and Jean regretted it.

"Mikasa, look… I'm not trying to be a jerk here. But in that squad you're in, you'll be risking your life to protect Eren. And maybe you're a masochist or maybe you just enjoy that kind of thing, but I worry about you, okay! So at least, for my sake, if not yours, even if I don't mean that much to you… be careful, alright. I already lost one dear friend in Marco, and I don't think I can stand to lose you too…"

"I – I'm not sure what you're trying to get at," Mikasa looked confused.

"It's Eren." Jean sighed, "I don't know, that Titan form of his, I just have a bad feeling about it."

"Eren wants nothing more than to kill all the Titans and protect mankind."

"Yes, but sometimes I feel his burning ambition makes him lose sight of what's really important. I'm just asking you to be careful around him, that's all, Mikasa."

"…anything else you wanted to say?"

_Don't go. You're beautiful. Forget Eren. Be with me, be mine forever._

"No," Jean chuckled wryly. "There's only so many times a guy can have his heart trampled on."

And then when Mikasa looked at him, he thought that for the first time, he saw a glimmer of compassion and understanding in her eyes.

"I'm really sorry, Jean. But I just _can't_."

She understood him though, he knew. Because the same pain that he was feeling, he'd seen it reflected in her eyes before. And she knew he knew.

Her fingers brushed against his cheek, the lightest of touches.

And then in a swish of black hair, she was gone.

* * *

Eren was silent for the first few minutes as they made their way back after bidding Armin goodbye.

He wouldn't last for long though, Mikasa knew. He had never been the patient type.

"So," Eren asked casually. "Quite a long talk you and Jean had back there... is anything up?"

"It was nothing. Don't worry about it."

"When did I ever say I was _worried_?" Eren ground out.

"…"

"Fine, keep your secrets, Mikasa, I don't care. I guess this means you're the one who has _special feelings _for Jean?"

"What are you talking about?" Mikasa asked, keeping her tone neutral. "There is no such thing between us."

"I don't know, if you can accuse me of having them for _Annie _of all people…"

"That means you don't?"

"Of course not! Where would you even get that crazy idea from?!"

Mikasa pulled her scarf up an inch, hiding the smile that tugged at her lips.

* * *

The next morning at breakfast, Eren fully expected to have Mikasa seated besides him, probably nagging him to finish his bread.

She wasn't there though. Nor was the corporal.

"Oh, you don't know?" Hanji exclaimed when Eren asked her. "He's training her personally."

"I'm _aware _of that," Eren said through gritted teeth, still not liking the idea of Mikasa's new 'personal training' business. "But wouldn't they at least eat with us, or is that personal too?"

"Heichou left with her at six in the morning to go train," Raye supplied helpfully, "and he said not to expect them till late."

"I see," Eren said, stabbing into his potatoes with a lot more force than necessary.

"Ooh, you seem upset, Eren!" Hanji observed, leaning forward excitedly. "If you'd like, I can ask Levi to train _you _privately too, though I'm not sure he'd be in for the kind of training your dirty little mind is thinking of!"

"Wh-what?! _No!_" Eren nearly choked himself, while Keichi sniggered.

"Of course, if you shifted into that beautiful Titan form for me, I wouldn't mind…" Hanji continued dreamily.

"I'm done eating, thanks!" Eren stood up hastily, excusing himself from the table.

* * *

Eren didn't see much of Mikasa for the next two weeks. It was practically like she hadn't been transferred at all, and was back with Armin and the rest. She was always gone in the mornings before he got up, and returned late at night, much after he had been locked back into his little jail cell that functioned as a room.

The room was well furnished, but it didn't change the fact that it was underground and had large iron bars where a door should have been. But Eren didn't grudge Levi for his room furnishings. It was necessary to keep him alive, to keep them all alive.

Eren stayed up one night, hoping that Mikasa would come visit him in his cell. He had really expected her to. It seemed like something she would do.

She didn't though, and he couldn't help but feel a curl of disappointment.

_Levi-heichou must really be working her hard. _

He saw her just once, while doing 3DMG drills deeper in the forest.

Just for a few seconds, a figure had twisted through the trees with an alarming agility and flown overhead. He would have never recognized it as her, if not for the maroon scarf that came fluttering to the ground a few moments later, having been ripped off with the pace she was moving at.

_Shit! Nobody should be able to move that fast!_

Eren walked forwards to pick up her scarf – _his _scarf – from the ground, just as one more figure, presumably Levi, zoomed overhead.

"What kind of god forsaken training is this?!" Keiji wondered aloud, looking up across the clearing to the other side of the forest, where a few fallen leaves were the only indication that two soldiers on their 3DMG's had been there just moments ago.

* * *

Eren finally caught hold of Mikasa that weekend when she was carrying two large boxes across the castle halls.

"Mikasa!" he hurried towards her.

"Eren!" Mikasa stopped in her tracks, setting the boxes on the ground. "How've you been! I'm sorry I haven't been able to see you."

"Did heichou finally decide to give you a day off?"

"Day off?" Mikasa scoffed. "That chibi and his cleaning fetish. Today he's decided to make me do his housework under the pretext of training."

"He made me do that when I first got here," Eren said reminiscently. "It was really annoying."

"Annoying hardly describes it. He's got some kind of obsessive compulsive disorder when it comes to cleaning, it seems," Mikasa ranted. "Three times he made me dust the damn storage room, three times. Nobody even uses that room. I finally convinced him to let me lift stuff instead, at least that way I get exercise."

"How's training going with him?"

"It's been… intense…"

"So you haven't 'set him straight' yet?" Eren teased.

"I would have, so many times, but-" Mikasa gritted her teeth, "-he may be short, but he's strong, and _really _fast."

"Hm..."

Eren realized that he'd never seen Levi in action, _really _in action except for the few seconds when he'd zoomed after Mikasa in the forest earlier. The same went for Mikasa. Whenever she'd rescued him, he had usually been incapacitated in one way or another. He'd heard about her skill rather than seen it.

_I still have a long way to go if I want to catch up to them and kill Titans the way they can. _

He didn't know if he was jealous of Mikasa and what she had grown into, or proud. Maybe it was an odd mixture of both.

"Don't you worry though, Eren. I _will _get back at him one day, for what he did to you in that courtroom!" Mikasa vowed.

"You really don't have to, he did what was required for my safety," Eren said placatingly.

"That's what the midget told me, but I still think he overdid it, the jerk." Mikasa fumed.

"Really, it's okay. Oh, by the way, I have something for you," Eren said, remembering as he rummaged in his pack.

"Huh?"

"Lose something?" Eren grinned at her, pulling out the red material.

"My – my scarf!" Mikasa cried, her eyes lighting up. "Oh, you found it! I'm so glad! I dropped it one day during training, and I searched for hours after, but I couldn't find it!"

"Actually, I believe it's _my _scarf," Eren corrected. "But you can have it again since you seem so attached to it."

He looped it around her neck, feeling a sudden sense of déjà vu. Mikasa's hands came up to touch the fabric, her dark eyes shining.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Don't be stupid." Eren swallowed the lump in his throat, wondering what he was getting so emotional about.

An image flashed in his mind, a small, pale, shivering girl standing in the snow.

_I'm cold and I have nowhere to go home anymore._

"Anyways!" Eren said quickly, jolting out of his reverie. "I'm actually kind of free right now. Those boxes look heavy, shall I carry them for you?"

"Oh, it's really fine." Mikasa shook her head. "I asked heichou to let me carry them, since he's depriving me of my time at the gym."

_Stupid, stupid! _Eren berated himself. _It's Mikasa, what did you expect._

"Well, I can at least carry one of them for you."

"Really, Eren, it's fine, I don't need your-" she saw the flash of annoyance on his face, and backtracked. "That would be nice, actually, thank you."

Eren leaned down, sliding his fingers under one of the boxes.

He nearly toppled over at the effort it took to lift it.

_What the fuck is in this?! _

He struggled not to let the agony show on his face, feeling Mikasa's eyes on him.

_How the hell was she carrying two of these without breaking a sweat? What is wrong with her?!_

"So – where do we have to take these again?" Eren asked, as Mikasa resigned herself to letting him suffer and picked up the other box as if it were filled with feathers.

"The tower room," she said nonchalantly.

_Five floors?! You're shitting me! _

"Eren, are you sure you can-"

"Yeah, yeah, let's go already!"

* * *

"Eren. If you're going to just sit around, you'd rather be helping me sweep," Mikasa chided.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Eren continued to sit where he was, swinging his legs off the windowsill as he peered outside, his broom laying forgotten besides him.

It was just like old times, whenever Eren's mother set chores for them. Mikasa would get all the work done, while Eren lazed around and slacked off.

Mikasa smiled to herself at the memory.

"This takes me back, you know," she said fondly.

"Takes you back to – oh. Yeah," Eren said grimly, his mouth hardening to a line.

He was silent after that, and Mikasa sighed. She shouldn't have bought it up. Thinking of happier times sometimes cheered her up.

But for Eren, it would almost always put him on a train of thought that led to the Titan attack and his mother's death, and then he would be sullen and irritable for hours.

He didn't have time to brood however, as the door slammed open and Levi sauntered in.

"Eren, get out. Ackerman, get ready."

"Heichou!" Eren jumped to his feet. "I was just helping Mikasa clean-"

"No you weren't, you were sitting around and being a lazy ass. Now leave. Ackerman, in position."

"What, _here_?!" Mikasa cried. "There's no space, and our 3DMGs are-"

"Stop pulling an Eren and use your damned brains, Ackerman. We're sparring hand to hand today. No weapons, no 3DMG."

"Right _now_?"

"Yes. Are you too tired from that measly sweeping? I thought that would suffice as a warm up for you."

_She's been cleaning for five hours, _Eren thought to himself, _he's really brutal!_

"No sir! I can fight, right now!"

She sounded determined, if not slightly excited. Mikasa had never fought hand to hand with Levi before.

But martial arts were something she specialized in, since she had been taught some of her clan's secret techniques as a child.

She couldn't wait to use it on Levi's smirking face, in payback for what he did to Eren.

Eren considered for a moment to ask if he could stay and watch, but then thought better of it.

"Good luck, Mikasa," he muttered, swiftly leaving the room.

_You can finally have your revenge on him._

* * *

"Come at me with everything you've got, Ackerman," Levi told the girl once Eren had left. "I know you've been itching to punch my face in from that day in the courtroom. So remember that, and remember how I knocked your precious Eren's teeth out."

"Are you taunting me?" Mikasa growled at him, sliding into her fighting stance.

She seemed on edge, her eyes gleaming wildly.

_She really does want to beat me up. Well that'll make this at least a bit interesting. _

"No rules. Everything is allowed. Try to kill me for all I care, though there's no way you'll come close. Don't hold back, because I certainly don't plan to."

"Understood," Mikasa breathed heavily.

Levi smirked.

"Begin."

* * *

It was ten hours later when Mikasa Ackerman finally collapsed, her eyes fluttering shut.

Levi, who had been straddling her, his hands clamped deathly tight around her wrists, quickly slid off her, bringing two fingers to her right wrist.

He knew he hadn't killed her, just worn her out from a ridiculously intense training session, but he still felt an urge to check.

The pulse thumped beneath his fingers, and he heaved a sigh of relief, burying his other hand into his sweat-drenched hair.

His arms, legs, _everything _was sore and ached. There would be bruises, for sure.

She'd managed to land quite a few good hits on him. In all the years of his life, not one person had, up till this point. But for every nine of Mikasa's attacks that he had blocked, one managed to get through his defenses.

And that girl had inhumane strength

_It's not natural, _Levi thought, his eyes glancing over her lean stomach, and her muscled yet slim arms. Mikasa was built for her age, but not disproportionately so. She didn't have bulging biceps or manly shoulders.

And yet, her strength was disproportionate. Levi got that a lot about his strength (due to his height); but given Mikasa's gender and build, even if she had an eight-pack and was all muscle, she shouldn't be physically capable of packing punches with the tremendous amount of power she managed to inject in them.

_There must be some reason, something to it... _

Her pulse still beat against his fingers, and Levi felt something rough there, a roughness amidst her smooth skin.

He looked down, and saw that she had some kind of a bumpy scar on her wrist, from a previous injury or scar.

Upon closer look, he realized, feeling mildly horrified, that some sort of symbol had been cut into her flesh, probably years ago.

_"No – no, please – let me go! Please, I'll do anything but don't – I'm married, I have a husband – don't make me-"_

_"Shut up wench!" _

_The beefy man struck the woman hard across her face. _

_Blood streamed out of her mouth, the bright red contrasting against her snowy skin. Her ebony hair fell across her face, and her dark eyes were bright with tears._

_"Please-" she begged._

_"One more word and we'll cut your tongue out! Not like you need it for what we're going to do with you!"_

_"Actually, from my experience, there's a good amount she might need it for!"_

_The men laughed loudly at the joke, and the woman whimpered, as they wrenched her hands forward. _

_"Levi, the cuffs!" one of them barked._

_"Father – are you sure – this seems a bit – barbaric, don't you think?"_

_"Levi!" the man growled. "Do you want more beatings?"_

_"N-no sir!" _

_A young boy – not older than ten – rushed forwards, avoiding the woman's eyes as he clamped the metal around her left wrist, and then her right, noticing the strangely scraped symbol etched into her skin._

_"That's a good boy, Levi!" one of the men smacked his head. "One day, when you're a few years older, we'll let you have a taste too, and once you go down that road there's no turning back!"_

"N-no!"

Levi shook his head, realizing where he was, and noticing the girl lying unconscious on the floor.

"No… it's over. They're gone," he muttered, "Never again. _Never again."_

_Humans can be monsters too, sometimes. Monsters worse than Titans. And the creator of those monsters is being praised as the destroyer of these. What irony. _

He looked at Mikasa again, his gaze flickering between her face and her wrist.

She was pretty, very pretty, and there was certainly something exotic about her beauty. Her cheekbones were higher than most, and her dark eyes, though large, were slightly slanted. Her features too, there was a delicateness to them that wasn't seen in most woman, no matter how attractive.

Levi reached forward, slowly running his fingers through her hair. It was smooth and fine, like black silk.

_It's not the first time…_

He had felt that hair before, the same ebony black hair.

_Could it be?_

Levi's eyes lingered on her scar. From what he knew about Mikasa Ackerman, her parents had been murdered when she was nine. Eren Jaeger had saved her then (which probably accounted for her ridiculous attachment to the boy) and she had lived with him ever since, as an adopted sister of sorts.

Levi suddenly felt like vomiting, and he bought a hand to his mouth, restraining himself.

_Fuck. If it's my fault... _

He would train her till she surpassed him, Levi decided. He would train her into humanity's best soldier.

Not just for humanity, but for her own sake, and for his. For the sake of her parents, and all those innocent people who had died and suffered, years ago, at the cruel hands of other humans.

He felt oddly protective of the young girl, even though he knew she hated his guts.

_And you'd probably hate me more, if you knew. _

"Let's get you back to bed," Levi murmured, sliding his arms under her legs and around her shoulders.

He picked her up gently, despite his aching arms, and carried her out of the rooms and through the deserted halls.

As he rounded a corner, he nearly dropped Mikasa as he came face to face with one Eren Jaeger.

Eren's green eyes grew wide at the site of Levi carrying Mikasa in his arms.

"Mikasa – wh-what are you – what did you do to her?! Is she alright?!" Eren yelled, panicking.

"Keep your voice down, do you want to wake up the entire castle?" Levi snapped at him irritably. "Why the hell are you out of bed?"

"I needed to use the toilet, they let me out," Eren said. "Though that's not even important! What did you do to Mikasa?!"

"Nothing more than she couldn't handle. Keep your pants on Eren, she's only fainted from exhaustion. Here," Levi held her out to Eren.

"Wh-what?"

"Carry her back to her room will you, like a good brother or whatever you are. I have things to do."

_And my arms are fucking killing me. That bitch punches hard._

Levi deposited the unconscious girl into Eren's arms.

"Down the hall, take a right. Third door to your left," he said, before walking off, leaving Eren staring after him in bafflement.

* * *

Eren shifted Mikasa in his arms, still staring after the Corporal. He was unsure to make of what he had just witnessed.

For one thing, Mikasa was _unconscious. _Even though Levi had said she had fainted out of exhaustion, it bothered Eren a great deal to see her unconscious.

There was a time when he would have relished the chance to be Mikasa's hero and carry her back to her bed (and maybe even now, a part of him liked the idea) – but after seeing her so insanely strong and always fighting the last few months, seeing her in this state filled him with a bit of unease.

It also bothered him how nonchalantly Levi had been carrying her, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. He also seemed to know where her bedroom was, something which Eren himself hadn't even known or bothered to find out.

For some reason, that also made Eren feel slightly sick, at the pit of his stomach.

_First Jean, now Levi. There's something wrong with me. Why is this even bugging me, it's not important!_

He walked along the dark passageway. Mikasa was heavy, but he managed. Her head rolled against his chest.

He'd carried her once – just once – when they had been kids, playing in the field. He'd picked her up then, in his arms, and had spun her around. He didn't remember why, but he remembered the sound of her laughter, and how soft and warm she'd been in his arms.

He hadn't heard her laugh in years.

She was still warm though, but not as soft as before. She was harder now, harder after years of training and 3DMGs. Eren had seen his own body in the mirror, seen how he'd developed abs and pectorals and biceps and muscles in places he'd never had them.

They had both grown, physically and mentally, teenagers forced into the roles and bodies of adults.

_We're still together though, even after all these years. We made it, to the Scouting Legion. And now Mikasa's in the Special Operations Squad, though it's to protect me. Who would have thought… _

Mikasa stirred in his arms, and Eren stopped walking.

"Hei-chou?" she asked weakly.

Eren's stomach curdled at that – was it out of habit, that Mikasa expected Levi? Had he carried her like this before?

"It's me," he said thickly. "Er-"

"Eren!" Mikasa gasped, her eyes snapping open. "How are you - how are you here?"

"You collapsed from training. Heichou asked me to take you to your bedroom."

"…oh," was all Mikasa said, and Eren started walking again.

"You can put me down," she said after a moment. "I think I can walk now."

"Don't be stupid, you'll just faint again," Eren snapped at her.

He would never admit to himself that he liked carrying her, liked having her so dependent on him.

"Alright," Mikasa agreed easily enough, settling back against his chest.

Her soft hair tickled his chin, and he could smell it; sweat, mixed with something flowery, something sweet, and something familiar that reminded him of the old days before the Titan attack, and of his mother.

He reached her room and kicked open the door. He leaned down and set her down on her bed. Mikasa sat up though, leaning against her pillows.

"You should – you should probably drink water," he said, filling a cup for her and sitting down on the edge of her bed.

He held the cup to her lips, and she drank it, her fingers momentarily covering his.

Their eyes met, and Eren felt his cheeks grow warm, though he couldn't for the life of him understand why.

"You – you smell like her," he finally said, taking the cup from her hands when she was finished drinking, placing it on the table besides her bed, "Like mother…"

Mikasa's eyes softened, but she said nothing.

Eren made to stand up, but Mikasa's fingers curled around his hand.

"What?"

"Stay – a bit?" she entreated him.

"You need to sleep, and I do too," he said.

"Just a little while? Till I fall asleep, please? I barely see you anymore..."

Her eyes were shining in the candlelight of her night lamp.

Eren found that he couldn't say no to her then. Besides, they hadn't gotten much quiet, peaceful time alone together at all, ever since… Eren couldn't remember the last time he had been alone with Mikasa and they hadn't been arguing or fighting or killing Titans or struggling to find food, or something of the sort.

"Okay," he relented.

Mikasa smiled at him then, and his heart lifted.

His eyes darted downwards, fully aware that she had yet to let go of his hand. Mikasa didn't seem to notice.

"Rough day?" Eren asked, wondering why his heart was hammering so.

_I need to go back to bed soon, that's what it is._

"Mm. I always thought hand to hand was one of my strengths, but that shortie is better than me at everything, it seems."

Eren thought he sensed a bit of bitterness in her voice.

"He isn't called humanity's strongest soldier for nothing, you know."

"Hm… but you're stronger than him, when you're a Titan, right?"

_I probably am, _Eren thought, _even though he's killed hundreds of Titans and claims he can kill me. I'm stronger than you too, Mikasa, aren't I?_

His eyes flickered to her cheek, where he could make out the beginnings of a scar, from the time he'd attacked her during the battle to seal Trost.

"I still don't know if that power is a blessing or a curse," Eren muttered.

"It's a curse," Mikasa said, "But with you… I think… you'll make it a blessing…"

She was already drifting off to sleep.

"You must be really tired. You're always telling me to take rest, but now it's you who should," Eren scolded her gently.

Mikasa's eyes fluttered shut, her head falling back against the pillow.

Eren watched her sleep for a few moments, her face illuminated by the flickering firelight.

He felt his eyes grow heavy as well.

He considered for a moment getting into bed with her; it was something they had done often enough as children, sharing the same bed.

It had started when Eren had found Mikasa crying softly to herself one night, three days after her parent's murder. She had told him about her nightmares.

He'd hugged her then, and she'd fallen asleep in his arms.

After that, whenever she had nightmares, she would crawl into his bed. It was cramped, but Eren had never minded, and had often ended up using her as his personal body pillow. She had always been so soft, and smelled so good. Mikasa didn't seem to mind the cuddling either.

He shook his head, forcing himself awake. As tempting as the idea was, they were older now. They hadn't shared a bed in five years. Besides, Eren had heard what the guys in the bunkers, what Jean and the rest had said about sharing beds.

It had been innocent enough when they were kids, but Eren was pretty sure it would be looked at differently given that they were well into their teens. It probably wouldn't be appropriate, and Eren felt himself flush for having even entertained such an idea.

Still, imagining Jean's face if he had known they had slept on the same bed as kids - _that _was something that lifted Eren's spirits.

He took one last look at Mikasa, the firelight casting shadows against her skin. Just beneath her long eyelashes, at the curve of her cheekbone, was the scar, blemishing the pale, smooth skin underneath.

Eren's eyes were drawn to it, and he felt his stomach flip uncomfortably.

He reached out, brushing her hair behind her ear. It felt like silk the way it slipped through his fingers.

_I did this to you. This is all my fault._

His finger traced the scar.

Jean's words echoed in his head, and the words in the courtroom.

_In Titan form, Eren swung at Mikasa Ackerman three times…_

_I heard you tried to kill Mikasa… what the hell's with that, huh?!_

Eren pulled his hand away from her face, as if scalded.

He hated it. It bothered him, so much, so much. Mikasa had never bought it up. She had never blamed him for it or even acted differently. She had even defended him in front of Jean for it.

But ever since the testimonial had been read out in the courtroom, it had stabbed at his heart.

_You're the last person… I never, never wanted to hurt you… I'm so sorry…_

"It won't happen again," Eren muttered, "I promise, Mikasa. Next time, I'll protect you, like I'm supposed to."

He stood up then, and walked out of the room, gently closing the door.

A few moments later, Mikasa smiled a tiny smile, wrapping her scarf closer around her.

"I know you will, Eren."

* * *

Heichou – Japanese word for the rank equivalent to Lance Corporal, it's what they call Levi in the anime/Japanese manga

Danchou – This would translate roughly to commander, what they call Irvin

Chibi - can mean a short person, Mikasa calls Levi this in the anime/Japanese manga

* * *

Omake/Deleted Scene (takes place when Jean tells Mikasa he needs to talk to her)

"Sooo…" Jean rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, twisting the material of his shirt together with his other hand. "Now that you got me here and alone… whaddya wanna talk about?"

"_You _bought me here," Mikasa deadpanned.

"Heh heh," Jean chuckled awkwardly. "Of course I did, isn't that right, smart of you to pick up on that, but you've always been so very smart haven't you Mikasa, smart and beautiful, now that's a combination that's rare to find, plus insanely strong too, you can have anybody's ass, I'd be glad to give you mine – I mean kick, kick anybody's ass… that's what I meant, because you're so strong, you know…"

Mikasa tilted her head slightly, dark eyes narrowing.

"You're not making any sense," she told him.

Jean frowned, though he shut his mouth for the moment.

"Jean?"

He looked up from the ground he had been staring at, meeting her eyes.

He felt his cheeks grow warm.

She had such beautiful eyes, dark and mysterious, like endless pools that he could drown into, if she let him. And her nose too, so perfectly shaped. She was more beautiful than any girl he had laid his eyes on, and her lips… those perfect, inviting lips...

"Wanna bang?!"

"Wh-_what_?!" Mikasa hissed, the beautiful eyes narrowing to slits.

_Fuck, I did not just say that out loud…_

Jean flushed red.

"I mean – just once! Or twice? Or as many times as you wanted really, all up to you, you can call it quits if you get bored – you know! It's really stressful around here, good way to release the stress once in awhile, heh, heh heh…"

"_Jean!_"

"Or you know, think of it as training! Yeah, training! We can even do it in the forest, or on a tree if that's how you like it, with our 3DMG's on, we can even _use _them-"

Mikasa's eyes blazed and she took a step towards him.

"You can even call me Eren if you like!" Jean practically squeaked out in a last desperate attempt, before her fist smashed into his face and he was sent flying backwards.

* * *

Eren wasn't quite sure why, but there was something extremely satisfying about seeing Mikasa punch Jean in the face.

That was as clear as a rejection could get, for one thing.

"Ouch!" Connie yelped sympathetically. "Damn, that's rough, even for Mikasa!"

"He probably deserved it, the creep," Eren muttered. "Who the hell does he think he is anyways?"

After Connie had explained Jean's longtime crush on Mikasa to Eren, he had felt the urge to punch the boy's face in himself. He and Jean had always been somewhat of rivals, but they had eventually developed a grudging friendship as well.

But at that moment, Eren had felt all feelings of friendship disappear, replaced by a sudden and inexplicable irritation.

"He probably said something stupid, Mikasa wouldn't punch him for asking her out," Armin agreed, glancing sideways at Eren.

_Does Jean asking Mikasa out really bother you that much, Eren?_

* * *

"Damnit Mikasa, when I thought you'd make my nose bleed, this is _not _the situation I had imagined!"

"Are you _asking _for another one?"

"No! No – _fuck_." Jean staggered to his feet, clutching his dripping nose. "You punch _hard_!"

"…sorry," Mikasa said evenly, though she didn't look particularly remorseful.

"No – no, _I'm _sorry, Mikasa. I had no right to talk like that, I didn't mean it, I swear. I was being a jerk."

She looked a little surprised at the swift apology.

"I didn't want to anger you. I actually wanted to talk about something else entirely, I just kind of got nervous and started talking crap… I get nervous a lot, around you."

"You don't need to be," Mikasa said.

"Easy for you to say," Jean mumbled, flushing.

"Well?" Mikasa asked.

"Well what."

"Did you have anything important to say? Or can I go?"

_She's so cold, _Jean thought, _this is a girl who probably will break my heart if I fall too far._

But she could be warm too, he had seen that. Warm and loving and caring. It was just never directed at him.

Jean was overcome by that familiar burning jealousy and urge to punch Eren Jaeger in the face. Little did he know, a few meters away, said boy was harboring the same sentiments about him.

* * *

_Author's Notes:_

_Well, I hope you enjoyed that! I know there wasn't much action as such in this chapter – I guess it was mostly an introductory/set the tone kind of chapter. I know I glossed over Mikasa and Levi's fight – I promise you there will be more of that to come later… and those darned Titans, of course, from chapter two onwards! _

_This is roughly set after the events of the manga. I'm not going to provide an explanation for Bertholdt, Reiner and the rest, because I can't come up with one good enough. So I'm basically leaving those characters out of the story. Let's just say somehow Irvin's trap succeeded and Mikasa could get Eren back and they escaped, and Bertholdt, Reiner, Ymir and Christa wen their separate ways. Of course, their paths will meet again, but that would happen after this story ends, so I don't need to write them in. I just feel I wouldn't be able to do those characters justice. I'm sorry if anyone was looking forward to them appearing in this story, but as of now, I don't see that happening. _

_Levi's backstory… well, before I get any bashing for this, Petra did mention that he had a rather notorious past as a criminal, though no details were provided. I'm sure some of you by now would have guessed what the deal with him is in this… I don't know whether people would want to interpret his interactions with Mikasa as LeviMika. I didn't quite plan them to be so, but I can see if people read them as such. I don't plan to write LeviMika into this (since we already have two guys who will be fighting over her) but if people really want me to, I wouldn't mind. Just because they would be so badass, and I love to write jealous!Eren. _

_And Jean… maybe I overdid the Jean. There's just something I love about Jean being madly in love with Mikasa. He will come back, there's a lot more planned for him. Mainly to torture Eren. Because I am evil and plan to torture Eren a LOT in this. There's enough jealous!Mikasa out there, time for some jealous!Eren. And angsty!Eren. Which you got a taste of in this chapter, but there will be more of later._

_And yeah, I had to make up an OC. Raye is an OC (whose name and appearance I have pretty much ripped off of Raye Penber in Death Note because I love him), but the Keiji guy isn't, he appears in the manga according to SnK wiki. I may or may not kill the OCs, don't know yet, but they're not going to have much character development because I suck at that._

_…and I totally turned Hanji into some sort of hentai fangirl. I am sorry if that offends anyone. I don't mean to offend anyone. I just can see her as the kind who acts like that, as a joke. _

_Well, that's that. I'm so sorry for this excessively long a/n. _

_I will try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible. In the meantime, if you want MikaEre smut, or angst, or childhood fluff (insert shameless self promotion here) check out my other four fics, all listed on my profile page!_

_Actually, check out these two fics too! _

_How to Train your Titan by sinovenator: Titan!Eren x Mikasa. Probably the kinkiest but best SnK smut of its kind in the fandom. A must read, if you're open minded enough for that kind of thing. But do be warned of the pairing. I read this at least five times (shame on me, I know) but it's just so well written, and this author has managed to pull off a crazy scenario so perfectly. _

_Sundrenched by Tealirium: I don't know what it is about this fic, but I also felt compelled to reread it multiple times. It was actually the Eren/Mikasa fanfiction moment that made me think 'stop procrastinating and get on with writing your own stuff!', and hence me finally coming out with this chapter. I just love the way Eren has been written in this and my heart probably fluttered ten times while reading it. _

_Please review. Love you all. Oh, and I just listened to Guren no Yumiya backwards. It is ridiculous how epic it sounds. This fandom is going to be the death of me, I swear. With all the Guren no Parodies, Shingeki no Moejin, all those MMDs… I just can't… _


	2. Expedition

_Disclaimer: I don't own 進撃の巨人_

_Author's Notes: Thank you all for your wonderful reviews and kind support with the last chapter! It made me so happy. I actually edited that chapter a good amount and replaced it; mainly some grammatical errors. I also replaced two of the Japanese phrases with English and cut out some of Jean's interactions with Mikasa (added them at the end as deleted scene/omake-stuff) because upon second reading, they seemed out of character to me. _

_Fortunately, this chapter should be a lot cleaner than the previous, especially since I have betas now! It's my first time working with betas, and it's been just wonderful. So, I'd like to give a special thanks to both my betas here. **JamJackEvo** for all his help with my grammatical and punctuation errors, and **deathmakesapoet** for pointing out some discrepancies I had in the plot, helping with grammar and sentence structure, and improving on my narration of the action scenes in this chapter! You should all check out __**deathmakesapoet's **stories, 'Tears of a Titan' and 'Midnight Song'. They are both ErenMika, and brilliantly written. ToaT is probably my favorite chaptered fic in this fandom till date. _

_I have also fixed the spelling of Irvin's name, in the last chapter, and in this one. There are a lot of variations floating around online, but the official one seems to be Irvin, so I shall stick with that. I refer to the Lance Corporal as Levi and heichou. Would people prefer if I change it to Rivaille? I can do either, so let me know. If a majority of my readers want me to change it, I will. _

_I hope you all enjoy this chapter! Please leave me a review and tell me what you think! _

* * *

**Losing Control **

**Chapter 2: Expedition **

* * *

"Eren." Mikasa slid onto the bench next to him as he ate his breakfast. "Good morning."

"Mikasa? You're still here?"

"Heichou had a meeting with Irvin-danchou, and said I'm supposed to train with you today."

"Ah. Okay."

Eren gulped down the rest of his food, feeling a little nervous. He wasn't exactly sure if he wanted to train with Mikasa. He already knew very well about her physical prowess and abundance of skill. With Levi training her, they were probably leagues apart by now.

Eren had always hated that; he wasn't trying to compete with Mikasa, but he couldn't help but hate the fact that she easily outclassed him – and pretty much everyone else – in just about every aspect of being a soldier: from basic strategy and tactics, to advanced 3DMG maneuvers, she was top in everything.

A part of him still felt irritated – and though he would never admit it, jealous - of the special treatment she was receiving from Levi. He missed having her around, but he had ultimately come to prefer their separate training regimens. He found that he could focus better when she was not in his thoughts.

"When do we start?" Mikasa asked warily, watching carefully for his reaction.

"Oh. I don't know. Whenever Hanji-san decides to show up…"

As if on cue, the over-enthusiastic scientist bounded into the room.

"Guess what we're doing today," she announced, her cheeks flushed a bright red. "Medical examinations!"

"Wh-what?!" Eren spluttered. "What do you mean? What about training?!"

"Oh, that'll be later." Hanji dismissed his concerns with a casual wave of her hand. "The powers that be have deemed it necessary that we have a full medical record of all the soldiers. That means height, weight, body mass, and of course, my favorite, _blood _samples!"

Her eyes positively sparkled at the mention of the last item on her list, sending a chill down most of the soldiers' spines.

"Who authorized this all of a sudden?" Eren asked.

"You're lying!" Keiji accused. "You just want an excuse to examine Eren for his Titan abilities!"

"Oh yes, that is an added benefit," Hanji's eyes gleamed devilishly as her gaze fell upon Eren.

Mikasa slammed her plate down on the table and stood up.

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that," she said stiffly.

"Mikasa..." Eren sighed. The thought of Hanji examining his every nook and cranny with god knows what apparatus she had in store made him feel rather uncomfortable to say the least, but the last thing he wanted was to have Mikasa stand up for him again as if he was just a little boy. "Don't start-"

"Oh, I'm as interested in you as I am in Eren," Hanji said, causing Mikasa to furrow her brow, confused.

"Why?"

"Levi told me about your little physical duel. Seems like you're mighty strong for a girl your age…"

"What are you implying?" Mikasa narrowed her eyes.

"Nothing at all, dear. I'd just like to have a look at those legendary abs myself. There's a rumor floating around the male barracks that you're a C cup with an eight pack. I've always wondered what that looks like."

Eren had no idea what Hanji's latter comment meant, but the usually calm Mikasa had turned bright red almost immediately

"This is absolutely ridiculous!" she fumed. "I want to know on whose authority you claim to be able to investigate Eren—"

"On mine," Levi drawled, stepping into the room. "And Irvin's. Ackerman, quit acting like his mother. It's a standard medical exam, not a colonoscopy. Though I can't promise you that this one won't find a way to stick one in '_for science'_. Hanji, a word before you start molesting them."

"Levi, you make me sound worse than I am," Hanji scolded, following Levi out of the room.

Mikasa ground her teeth together.

"Mikasa, I can take care of myself." Eren rolled his eyes at her. "Besides, she sounded more interested in you this time than in me for some reason."

"Be careful," Keiji added. "Hanji's weird, and despite her Titan fetish, I've heard rumors that she's a lesbian…"

"Bisexual was what I was last told," Raye said quietly.

"It doesn't matter." Mikasa turned to Eren. "Eren, if she tries anything—"

"_Mikasa_! Shut up!"

* * *

The medical exam passed by quickly enough. Eren tensed up when Hanji drew his blood; he was pretty sure that a tiny prick wouldn't trigger a transformation, but given that his efforts to pick up a spoon had once prompted the transmogrification of his entire hand, he couldn't help but feel a little edgy.

Fortunately, he managed to remain human for the duration of the examination (Hanji seemed rather disappointed at this), and other than a few mortifying questions regarding the fate of certain parts of his anatomy after he transformed, she let him off more easily than he had expected.

"Are you okay?" Mikasa asked once he'd stepped out.

"I'm _fine_," Eren assured her. "You're next."

Mikasa's examination took nearly as long as his, and when she came out, she looked as stoic as ever.

"Well, we're all done here." Hanji's head popped out of the room she had been conducting tests in. "I'll just get these blood samples and files stored. You lot head over to the obstacle course and start your usual routine. We'll be on 3DMG today."

The obstacle course used by the Scouting Legion was similar in design to that used to train the soldiers of the Stationary Guard, but of course, far more advanced.

A number of life-sized wooden cutouts of Titans were scattered among the trees. A normal Stationary Guard drill would have required them to bring down thirty Titan cutouts in thirty minutes, but the course used by the Special Operations Squad had fifty.

There were scarcely any trees in this course, making it much harder to find leverage for the 3DMG. It was a pattern that mimicked the open plains, where fighting Titans was always more dangerous and difficult.

And the time limit was—

"Twenty minutes," Raye said, securing the straps of his gear as the four of them readied themselves.

"I'll keep time," Keiji volunteered immediately.

Eren wondered why; Keiji usually hated timekeeping or any sort of activity that required staying in one place and not using his gear.

He realized then, as Keiji's eyes flicked to Mikasa.

_Of course… they're probably dying to see her in action. The legendary Mikasa._

Eren tried to quell the bitterness rising within him; he hated having such feelings towards Mikasa. She was his family after all, and he cared about her more than anyone else.

But still, he couldn't help it.

Eren yanked on his belts one final time, making sure that his 3DMG was securely attached to his body.

_I'll show you, Mikasa! You're not the only one who can clear these damn courses! _

"Who wants to go first?" Keiji asked.

"I'll go," Raye said, and without another word, he leapt up into the air, shooting his hooks straight at the first cutout.

He arched his back as he zipped forwards, making sure to maintain his equilibrium as he slashed at the first neck. With quick, precise movements, he managed to twist his way around all of the Titan cutouts, cutting into their rubber-rimmed necks cleanly.

He landed on the ground only twice during the entire run, which was commendable. Ground-landings were discouraged while performing the obstacle courses, since being on the ground made one more vulnerable. Maintaining aerial leverage was crucial when fighting Titans. 'Only Titan bait runs on the ground!' Keith Shadis used to say.

When the last Titan was killed, he shot his hooks into a tree on his right. A few swings later, he landed in front of them, panting slightly.

"Nice," Keiji nodded. "Fourteen minutes, thirty four seconds."

_Damn, _Eren thought, _that's really good. _

His last try, he'd just managed in just over seventeen minutes.

"Eren, you wanna give it a shot?" Raye asked.

"Sure." Eren steeled himself, gripping the hilts of his swords.

His eyes met Mikasa's, and he held her gaze for a moment, nodding at her before turning around.

_Watch me, Mikasa. I don't need you for this._

Her face was blank, though he could feel her eyes boring into his back.

Eren crouched down.

"Go for it," Keiji called.

Eren fired the grapple hooks and shot forward like a bullet.

_Stay airborne. That's the key. Being on the ground wastes time._

The first three Titans were easy enough. His forward momentum carried him right past them, but when he reached the end of his arc he circled back at high speed, the wind biting at his face as he bore down on his targets. He leaned forward, slicing through the rubber necks with ease.

Swinging around the third Titan after he had dispatched it, Eren shifted his weight and used the momentum generated from his altered flight path to push himself back up.

He repeated that strategy – shoot forward, twist, slice, fall, swing, shoot up again – to get through the first thirty Titan cutouts, his swords slashing each of them cleanly.

By then, his arms had started aching from the all the strain that he'd put on them, and Eren felt himself start to drop, losing altitude as he made for the thirty-first Titan.

He pictured Mikasa then, as he'd seen her a few days ago, flying through the trees high above their heads at a breakneck pace. Uncatchable. Unbeatable.

_No. I will catch up to you!_

With renewed vigor, Eren threw his weight to his side again, his muscles screaming in protest as he shot back up just moments before he would have hit the ground.

_I can do this!_

He hadn't fallen all the way down yet, not even once, and Eren hacked his way through ten more Titans before he started to feel the fatigue return once again.

It was hard, making the cuts. The material on the necks was tough. They were difficult to slice through if you didn't make the cut at the correct angle, and Eren couldn't control his tiring arms with such precision anymore, not when he was so exhausted.

But every time Eren approached a target, he remembered impossibly straight rows of teeth and flying droplets of blood, as the image of the monster that killed his dear mother, crushing her bones between its fingers and teeth as it consumed her with inhuman glee, resurfaced in his mind - and every time he passed by a cutout, he would strike his blades into its neck with such fury that he almost beheaded a few of them.

_I'm using too much gas, _Eren realized as he flew through the air, the wind stinging his eyes.

He let it slide though; this time, his main focus was to complete the course as soon as possible.

_Forty-five._

_Forty-six._

_Forty-seven._

Eren twisted sharply to the left – the forty-eighth cutout was oddly positioned, forcing him to swing away from the previous one at an odd angle.

_Come on, come on, _he urged, as the cord went taut, swinging him just out of range of the target.

He pulled with all his might, throwing all his weight forward and pushing his cords to the limit as he reached the very tip of his arc, just managing to slice the forty-eighth's neck before circling back on his fulcrum.

His side ached though – he'd definitely pulled a muscle with the last turn, as sharp as it was.

The forty-ninth Titan was located far away from the forty-eighth, and he knew he would have to manipulate his body weight and center of gravity just right if he was going to launch himself high enough to cover the entire distance in one swing (Raye had landed on the ground and run for some of the distance, as had Eren himself, in all his previous attempts of the course).

Eren controlled his posture as he started to descend, and with a powerful jerk upwards just before he reached the very bottom of his downward arc, he launched himself back up, bringing his arms to his sides to reduce the drag as he flew through the air.

_Damnit, I'm too high. I'm going to overshoot it,_ he realized as the cutout grew closer.

He wasn't going to land and double back though – not when he was this near to completing a perfect run.

Eren angled his hips upwards, flipping over so that he was upside down just as he was about to fly past the target, allowing his upper torso – and more importantly, his blades – to reach the nape of the Titan's neck.

It was a dangerous way to use the 3DMG, but it brought him close enough that he could just barely cut through the neck, though the jarring impact of hardened steel against rubber sent him somersaulting through the air.

He nearly missed the fiftieth, but just managed to right himself and latch his hooks into a nearby tree, swinging around in a wide arc before returning to finish it off once and for all.

_That's fifty! I did it!_

Wasting no more time, Eren shot back through the trees, deliberately positioning himself so that he landed right where Mikasa was standing, forcing the girl to take a step back.

"Well?" he asked between labored breaths, doubling over with his hands on his knees.

"Holy shit Eren!" Keiji yelled. "That's a record or something! Ten minutes and eighteen seconds. Practically half the given time!"

Eren looked at Mikasa then, a challenged conveyed through his piercing gaze.

She stared back at him, stone-faced as ever, before nodding curtly in his direction.

"That's – that's really great, Eren."

Something was off with her voice though.

"Mikasa, you're up," Keiji said.

Mikasa bit her lip. There was something weird about the way she was walking, Eren noticed. Slower than usual, her feet shuffling across the floor as she moved. Mikasa always had such perfect posture, so what was wrong now?

Judging from her mannerisms, he guessed that for some reason, she didn't _want _to do the course.

"Hey, Mikasa – everything okay?" he asked.

"Mm," Mikasa nodded, looking at Keiji. "Can I start?"

"Whenever you're ready."

Mikasa shot both of her grapple hooks into the ground, and took a few steps back, completely baffling the three soldiers watching her.

She pulled until the wires grew so taut that Eren was sure they were going to snap at any moment.

They didn't though. Quick as lightning, she shot forward like an arrow and arched gracefully through the sky.

Eren wasn't even sure _what _happened after that.

All he knew was that she was _fast. _Ridiculously fast.

Then she started spinning when she neared the first target. It fell swiftly beneath her blade before she moved on to the next one. And she kept spinning all the time.

The only other person Eren had seen spin like that was Levi, but Mikasa was using his signature move as if she had been doing it her entire life.

After every swing she would spin and spin and spin. Eren couldn't quite keep up with her movements, she was whirling around so much. All he could see was the flash of her swords, and the maroon of her scarf as it trailed behind her.

He wouldn't even have believed that she was hitting the Titan necks at all – it seemed impossible to aim with the way she was spinning, so inhuman was the speed at which she was moving – but she left nothing but clean, clinical destruction in her wake.

The wooden cutouts shook violently long after she had left them, and Eren could see that the gashes that she had made were far deeper than his own.

He clenched his fist, his nails digging painfully into his skin.

She was like a tornado, whirling through the Titan cutouts at an unbelievable speed. Three of them even toppled over from the force of her blows.

Eren wondered how she could do it without feeling dizzy, without tearing the muscles of her stomach, her hips, or any other part of her body, for that matter – it was impossible. What she was doing had to be impossible.

And yet Mikasa did it anyway, slicing them down one after another with a deadly precision as she ripped through the air.

Eren couldn't help but admire her lithe form as it glided effortlessly through the air, and the grace with which she moved her body. She made it look so easy, her face so serene the whole time, as if it wasn't straining her muscles even the slightest bit.

There was no hesitance, no jerkiness in her movements. She was fluid, confident – and Eren watched her in awe, his mouth dropping open slightly.

Once she had finished off the last cutout (which reeled forward and crashed to the ground) she looped back, flipping over once mid-air before executing a perfect landing.

She stood up and dusted her pants, completely calm, as if she hadn't just completely smashed the record on a notoriously difficult obstacle course.

She avoided Eren's gaze, sheathing her swords and retying the scarf, which was on the verge of falling off.

There was a dead silence.

Keiji was gaping, and Raye was staring at her in awe.

Keiji finally spoke, his voice reverential.

"Fuck… Mikasa… that was – that was _five minutes and four fucking seconds_!"

Eren stared at Mikasa, who still refused to look at him. He was too shocked to even feel bitter at that point.

_What have you become?_

"Do it again."

The four soldiers whirled around.

Levi stood there, with Irvin and Hanji.

They quickly saluted the commander, and Irvin nodded.

"Eren, Mikasa, Keiji, Raye," he greeted them in turn.

Levi, however, was looking at Mikasa, almost disdainfully.

"You heard me, Ackerman. Do it again," he said coolly.

"B-but heichou-" Keiji began, "she just—"

"I remember telling you to complete it in _under _five minutes, Ackerman, not over," Levi said. "I won't tolerate underperformance from you. Get a hold of your feelings, don't let them screw you up this time."

_What is he talking about?! Is he crazy?! _

Eren looked between Levi and Mikasa, neither of whom was backing down from whatever internal argument was occurring. Though Mikasa hadn't said a word, she was glaring at Levi with a fierceness that took Eren aback. Levi stared back coolly.

"Ackerman. It's an order. And be careful not to knock any more of them down this time. We're already short on funding, can't afford to have you destroying our course."

"Tch." Mikasa drew her swords almost threateningly, and for a second Eren thought she was going to attack Levi.

But she turned on her heel and jumped up, and a moment later she was tearing through the course again.

"The rest of you are dismissed," Levi said, before turning to Irvin, "We'll join once we're done here."

Eren tore his eyes away from Mikasa as she flipped over a Titan's head, somersaulting midair. He wondered for a second if she was trying to show off, but then dismissed it. Mikasa wasn't like that. Levi's fighting style, though lethal, did tend to be rather flashy.

He made to follow the others towards the castle, but Levi stopped him.

"Eren. Do you resent me? For training with her rather than with you?"

Eren swallowed, scuffing his feet together.

"N-no sir, it wouldn't be my place…"

"I'll train you too, if you'd like. I can teach you the spinning move. It's not easy to pick up, but your – _friend – _managed it in under an hour."

"I – I'd like that very much, sir."

"Of course, before I do that, you'll need to get that monster of yours under control. That's the reason you're here, after all."

"Yes," Eren nodded, "I understand."

"Eren," Levi sighed, taking a step forward, "can you control it now? Truly control it?"

"I – I transformed when I fought against the Female Titan, and also the Armored. I think I'm better at controlling it than I was before."

"You _think _you're _better?_ That won't work. Master it, Eren. Then you can worry about mastering the 3DMG. First, make that Titan your bitch. Now go, Irvin doesn't like being made to wait."

"Wait?"

"He's holding a meeting and has decided to allow you to sit in on it. Go."

* * *

"Four minutes, forty eight seconds," Levi said approvingly, "That's more like it."

"Why did you make me do it again?" Mikasa growled. "I'd done it once, and you've seen me complete it before—"

"If you're going to keep worrying over that brat and his bratty feelings, you're never going to get anywhere."

"Eren is my _family_—"

"And yet you act like you're his protector, his guardian angel sent from heaven."

"…"

"Stop trying to shield him from everything. Give him space to grow."

"He _has _grown enough, and I _couldn't _shield him from what happened all those years ago!"

This time, a part of her icy self-composure broke, and Levi thought he saw tears glistening in her eyes.

A part of him felt sorry then. Sorry for her. Sorry for Eren. Sorry for the state they were in. They were just teenagers, after all. But the feeling disappeared as quickly as it came. Levi knew that there was no use in getting sentimental. He wasn't heartless, though.

"Mikasa," he said softly. She seemed surprised to hear him call her by her name. He had never done that before.

"If not for his sake, at least for yours. You're humanity's second strongest soldier. If you want to help him, do it by killing the Titans he hates so much. Eren's an idiot who thinks out of his ass more often than his head, but he's stronger than you give him credit for, and he has a goal—"

"His goal is to get himself _killed_—"

"Yes. He'll die for the Titans, and you'll die for him. A wonderful pair you two make," Levi said sardonically.

"I just – I just want to – keep him _alive_." Mikasa's voice cracked.

"Then you'd best worry about keeping yourself alive first. Especially given the nature of our next expedition…"

"Expedition?"

Levi met her gaze briefly but didn't answer her question. "Let's go. They're expecting us," he said before walking away.

* * *

Eren found himself in a room with Irvin and Hanji. Even Keiji and Raye, the other two members of Levi's squad hadn't been summoned.

_It must be pretty important, what they're about to discuss._

"So what's this top secret meeting about?" Hanji asked excitedly. "Have we discovered something new about the Titans?"

"No," Irvin said. "No leads yet. But if all goes well, a week from now, we very well could."

"A week from now?" Hanji asked. "But how – don't tell me you intend to –"

"There will be an expedition leaving tomorrow," Irvin informed them. "One embarking outside Wall Rose. The purpose of this expedition is to discover whatever secrets lie beneath Eren's house in Shiganshina. However, we will not attempt to retake Wall Maria as was initially proposed when such a mission was considered, but only make it to Shiganshina and back, alive. That is our top priority."

"But danchou – the last mission…" Eren trailed off, unable to complete his sentence.

"Ended in utter _disaster_?" Hanji finished for him.

"Disaster is an understatement," Irvin said gruffly, remembering the casualties and utter chaos that had resulted after the last expedition that had forayed beyond Wall Rose.

"How have we even received permission to carry out another mission?" Hanji asked, "And funds? The authorities don't seem to be in love with the Scouting Legion at the moment."

"You are right." Irvin nodded. "Which is why this mission is going to be carried out in secret. Without their knowledge. In fact, you two are the first people, other than Levi, who I am telling about this."

"Secret mission?" Eren asked, feeling uneasy. "How would we get that many soldiers past the eyes of the Stationary Guard? And what will the rest of the Recon Corps be told?"

"The rest of the Recon Corps isn't participating in this mission, Eren," Irvin said.

Hanji gasped.

"But Irvin—"

"A large scale mission is out of question. Big troops draw attention, and there are too many unknown variables. We have been monitoring the other soldiers carefully, but who knows how many Titan shifters or spies are out there, merging in with the others? It is no longer safe, even within the walls. Our only hope to reach Shiganshina now is if we try to slip past the Titans rather than engage them. We plan to send out only one small squad."

"_One _squad – against all the Titans out there?" Hanji cried. "I'm all for getting to that basement, but as stealthy as a single squad may be, _if _they do find us in such a small group, it would be suicide."

"Not if we can guarantee that we come out of any possible Titan attack alive."

"But – but how? And what about the abnormals? Levi's entire spec ops squad was decimated by one intelligent Titan! Even with skills of our caliber, sending so few into Titan territory…"

Hanji trailed off, and Eren felt the bile rising in his throat at the memory.

Petra. Auruo. Erd. Gunter.

All of them, despite their talent, wiped out in a just a few moments.

He refused to let history repeat itself.

_I won't let it happen. Not this time._

"And what if another intelligent Titan attacks?" Hanji continued. "The Colossal and the Armored are still out there! Don't forget that ape-like beast. Those are beyond our means, even an army on 3DMG wouldn't be able to bring those down!"

"Not an army. But… there are those among the Scouting Legion worth more individually than an entire army. Those who have, in the past, engaged and triumphed against even intelligent Titans such as the Female Titan."

Eren went cold at Irvin's words.

He was talking about Levi and Mikasa, of course. Humanity's two strongest soldiers.

_No. He can't mean to…_

It struck him then. Why Mikasa's squad had been shifted. Why Levi was putting so much effort into training her personally.

It all made sense.

"This is going to be a double mission," Irvin said, confirming Eren's fears. "Levi and Mikasa will make their way beyond the wall, undercover. Stealth is a priority. They will defeat any Titan that comes their way. Mikasa, of course, having lived with Eren, knows the location of their house. They will—"

"No!" Eren cried, slamming his fist on the table. "No! You can't!"

"Eren—" Irvin began, but at that moment, the door swung open, and the two soldiers in question walked in.

"Levi! Mikasa!" Hanji stood up as well. "You've heard about the mission? Levi, this is _madness_—"

"I briefed Mikasa on the details," Levi said calmly, pulling out a chair and taking a seat.

"Mikasa!" Eren yelled, his eyes blazing as he met her gaze across the room. "Mikasa, don't tell me you agreed to this!"

"I will do my duty as a soldier, and what is required of me," Mikasa replied steadily.

"You've got to be kidding!"

"I'm not one to joke about Titans, Eren. You know that whatever your father left you in that basement is our only chance at discovering more about the Titans. Even though it's a gamble, it's our only hope to learn more about them. If we want any chance of defeating them, obtaining it is imperative."

Mikasa's voice was cold, unwavering.

Eren stepped over his bench then, and walked towards her.

"They were – they were my family too, Eren," Mikasa said, her voice softer. "Even if it was just for a year… they took me in… I really – I –"

"I know that, Mikasa," Eren placed his hands on her shoulders. "But this – this is suicidal."

"I can do it. Just trust me."

"No!" Eren snapped at her, "You're always overestimating yourself! You think because you're strong, you can do whatever the hell you want! Irvin-danchou!"

He released his hold on Mikasa and turned to face the commander.

"You don't need to explain the importance of this mission to me. I understand it better than anyone. But I won't let you send Mikasa to her death."

* * *

Eren's voice was hard, his form shaking with anger.

Mikasa wanted to reach out and comfort him in some way. But she knew anything she would do or say at that point would only infuriate him further.

Besides, he was angry because he was concerned about her.

Despite the awkward situation, Mikasa secretly felt happy at seeing Eren so worked up about her safety.

He was usually so short-tempered with her, and though she didn't show it, it always hurt her. She had to remind herself at those times of a younger Eren, the one before the fall of Wall Maria. The Eren that she used to know.

The Eren that was kinder, and more open with his affection. The Eren that had risked his life and murdered two men to save her. The Eren that had given her his scarf, taken her cold hand in his warm one, and led her to his home – _their _home. He had given her a family, a new life.

Mikasa knew that Eren cared about her, even now, and that he was just too blinded by his rage with the Titans to let it show. Still, it was nice, to see this side of him, even for a little while.

In the courtroom as well, when they had spoken about killing her – whenever she was in danger, Eren had always jumped to protect her, just like she did him.

Mikasa's heart swelled at the thought.

_I'm never leaving your side… you know that, right?_

And yet, the nature of this mission – Mikasa had agreed, as was her duty. She knew her own capabilities, and Levi's as well. Logically, it was the most sensible solution, the strategy with the highest chance of success.

Still, the idea of being separated from Eren for so long made her uneasy. Despite their undoubted battle prowess, going into Titan territory without anyone besides themselves was a terrifying prospect, even to her.

_What if I don't see you again? I can't let that happen… _

* * *

Irvin sighed, although he had expected Eren's objection all along. The boy was justified in his anger.

"Eren, I understand your concerns, and I share them. Trust me when I say, I have a number of reasons I would rather Levi and Mikasa not go on this mission. After all, they are two of our most precious soldiers, irreplaceable as it is."

"So then don't—"

"But it is the only other way. There is no way to get a larger expedition approved, and a large expedition will draw more attention and result in more casualties anyway. The Scouting Legion has already dwindled in size—"

"So you propose to send the two best soldiers on a suicide mission?!"

"Eren. With Levi's and Mikasa's abilities, there is a pretty good chance that they can pull this off. Two people are more likely to get through Titan territory unnoticed than a large host. With their speed, both of them are capable of outrunning Titans on 3DMG. And they are more than capable of dealing with any—"

"Still! I don't care how strong you all think Mikasa is, you can't just send her _alone _with Levi-heichou, I won't let you, I—"

"Eren!"

It was Levi who spoke this time, cuffing Eren on the head.

"Just who do you think you are, ordering Irvin like that? Need I remind you that the pigs in charge have put you under _me_. Both you _and _Mikasa are under my protection. _My orders_."

"But –" Eren felt his eyes sting as he looked to Irvin. "Danchou – if you must – if you _must _send them on this mission, at least let me go as well!"

"Eren!" Mikasa cried.

"Irvin-danchou," Eren pleaded, shaking slightly, "Mikasa's my family – and Shiganshina is my home! _I'm _the one with the keys to that basement! Please! _Please _let me go with them!"

Irvin remained silent, his eyes constantly observing Eren without blinking.

"Levi," he said at length, "what do you think?"

Levi narrowed his eyes, looking rather annoyed with the entire situation.

"This brat is going to be a nuisance both before and after the mission if we don't let him come. And Ackerman will be a pain in the ass too. _And_ she won't be able to fight properly if half her mind is occupied worrying about him."

Eren's spirits lifted at his words.

"Heichou—"

"I don't want to deal with her angsting or his whining. Let him come. He'll probably be safer with us, too. We can protect him from Titans outside the walls, but we can't protect him from the traitorous bastards inside."

"I see." Irvin folded his hands, resting his chin on them. He turned to face Mikasa.

The girl's face was an impassive mask.

"Mikasa, given you know Eren best, I'll ask you for your view on this."

* * *

Eren's gaze was intense, his turquoise eyes bright and shining as they bore into hers from across the room. He seemed to be begging her with his eyes, and Mikasa knew, despite her misgivings, that she wouldn't be able to deny him.

Besides, she felt a lot more comfortable with him by her side too, where she could make sure that he was safe. Levi had been spot-on with his assessment of the situation.

"I think Eren should be allowed to come," she said finally. "It _is _his home first and foremost. And I would rather not be separated from him again."

Eren nodded at her in thanks, his face determined as he turned back to Irvin.

"Danchou—"

"Alright then." Irvin rubbed his forehead. "Levi has a point, and I don't think Eren would stay even if I enforced it. To be honest, I figured as much that this would happen. The mission mandate has been revised. Eren Jaeger will accompany Mikasa Ackerman and the Lance Corporal to the Shiganshina district. They will unlock the basement to his house, gather whatever information remains hidden there, and make their way back to the Headquarters as swiftly as possible."

* * *

"Levi." Hanji headed straight for the corporal once the meeting was over, speaking in unusually hushed tones. "Levi, a word. There's something I need to tell you about Eren's Titan form. I was going over the records of the last few Titan shifter incidents. It's just a hypothesis, a guess at best. I don't want Eren knowing about it because it'll probably weigh on his mind. But with all this craziness regarding your upcoming mission-"

"Come with me," Levi said, his eyes flicking over to Mikasa, who stood a few feet away.

Though she had a neutral expression on her face, he got the impression that she was listening intently.

"We'll talk outside."

* * *

"Come on," Mikasa said, her hand on Eren's arm. "Let's go eat."

Her touch was gentler than usual, and this time Eren didn't shrug her off.

"Do you think he'll let us go see Armin and the rest before leaving?"

"If I ask him, he might," Mikasa said. "Maybe we can go during their dinner time. But, you should rest after we eat, first."

"You're telling me?" Eren rolled his eyes at her. "You're the one who did that course twice."

"Heichou made me do it ten times in one day, when he was training me."

Eren wasn't quite sure how to respond to that, and they walked in silence for a while.

"While using the 3DMG, you should – you should try and keep your arcs smaller," Mikasa said after a moment, "Rotate your hips less. You'll waste less energy, and you'll go faster too. If you get blindsided by Titans, it'll make it harder for them to catch you."

Her voice seemed calm as usual, but this time, Eren detected a trace of anxiety in it.

"Thanks," he muttered in reply, and she didn't say anything more.

* * *

"Listen up, Eren," Levi said, finding him and Mikasa at lunch.

Levi sat down on the chair next to Mikasa, crossing his legs.

Mikasa's face seemed to darken at his sudden intrusion, but he didn't particularly care.

They were alone in the room, the three of them.

"Yes?" Eren asked, looking up from his stew.

"You can come on this mission if you want, but there's something I want to make clear. This isn't an order, because I'm not one to stop you from making your own decisions. It is a warning."

"Heichou?"

"It was mentioned multiple times in the meeting, but I feel I should repeat it so that you get it through your stupid head. This is a _stealth _mission. And your Titan form attracts _shitloads _of attention. I trust that even you can understand where I'm going with this?"

"No transforming." Eren gulped. "I got it."

"Unless you find yourself in a Titan's stomach again. But I'm hoping you're competent enough with 3DMG by now to avoid that. Under _any_ other circumstances though, I want to make it clear to you how highly I discourage you from doing it."

"But what if Mikasa is in danger, or if you—"

"Don't worry about Mikasa, Eren. She can take care of herself. The same goes for me."

"Yes, sir."

"We're leaving tonight, at midnight. Both of you get ready, and rest while you can."

"Could we meet Armin and the others once, before we leave?" Mikasa asked.

"You can, but only if you promise not to go blabbering about the expedition to them. _Any _of them, and that includes Armin."

* * *

"It'll be weird, keeping things from Armin," Eren said, later that evening, as they neared the cabin where the rest of the Recon Corps took their meals.

"We don't have a choice."

"Still, it's _Armin_!"

"_Don't _tell him, Eren."

"I know, I won't! It just feels weird, you know?"

"…yeah."

* * *

"Hey guys," Eren greeted as he slid into the seat next to Armin.

"You guys came!" Armin beamed at them. "We were just talking about how it's weird not having you two around anymore."

Mikasa sat down next to Sasha, who smiled warmly at her.

"Would you like some bread?" the copper-haired girl offered.

"Um, sure." Mikasa raised an eyebrow.

"Here!"

Sasha broke off a chunk from the loaf she was holding and handed it to Mikasa, before proceeding to stuff the rest into her mouth.

Connie snickered, and Mikasa just ate the bread in silence.

"So, how's training going, Mikasa?" Armin asked. "Word's going around that Levi heichou is training you _privately_."

"It's going well enough," Mikasa said coolly.

"Is he really training you one on one then?" Connie leaned forward on his elbows. "That's sick!"

"Hm."

"Oh look," Sasha said, spewing out bits of bread crumbs as she did so, "it's Jean!"

Jean headed to their table, stopping abruptly when he caught sight of Mikasa.

"Mikasa." His voice was softer than usual. "What are you doing here?"

"Jean." She nodded politely at him. "Eren and I were just dropping by."

Jean's expression changed at the mention of Eren's name, as if he had smelled something particularly unpleasant.

"Eren," he mumbled in acknowledgment, grudgingly addressing the back of Eren's head.

"Yeah," Eren replied nonchalantly.

Jean made his way around the table, seating himself next to Mikasa.

"Hey Eren," Connie piped up suddenly. "Guess what Sasha did yesterday at training?"

* * *

"So, how's it going? Now that you can finally be around him all day?"

Jean's voice was low and calm, but Mikasa could hear the sourness in his tone.

"I'm not around him all day," she said quietly.

"Oh, that's right. Heard your nemesis is training you. How's _that _going? Have you had your revenge on him yet, for beating up Eren?"

"Not yet. I will though, one day."

Jean smiled at this.

"You're really too much, Mikasa."

"Hey, what are you two whispering about?" Eren asked suddenly from across the table.

"Oh, nothing much, I was just telling Mikasa how gorgeous her hair looks this long," Jean said smoothly, turning to Mikasa. "You should really consider growing it out a little more, maybe till your back."

"That – how is that even important?" Eren scowled. "Besides, Mikasa's hair is none of your business!"

_Not mine, huh. But it's yours, Eren? _Jean thought bitterly.

"What, so now it's wrong of me to compliment a pretty girl on her appearance?" he shot at Eren.

"What are you _saying_?" Mikasa hissed from besides him.

"Never mind." Jean sighed, standing up and pushing his chair in. "You'll never get it."

Mikasa looked confused for a moment, but reverted back to her poker face almost immediately.

"Huh? Wait – where are you going?" Eren asked.

"Another table. I can't eat while looking at your face, it makes me sick."

And before Eren could retort to that, Jean stalked off.

"That guy!" Jean heard Eren fuming behind him. "What the hell is his problem?! I didn't even do anything!"

_You exist, Eren. And unfortunately, humanity's fate seems to depend on your damned existence. _

* * *

"Hanji-san spoke to me yesterday," Armin confided to Eren and Mikasa after dinner, when it was just the three of them, taking a stroll outside the mess hall.

"Really? About what?" Eren asked.

"She's apparently going to start some top-secret, really important research in her lab tomorrow," Armin said. "She was saying something about how we have similar minds, and she wanted me to help out."

"Don't tell me she's gotten more Titans," Eren muttered.

"Your mind is nothing like hers," Mikasa said quickly. "That woman is psychotic."

"You never did tell me what went on during your physical examination." Eren glanced at Mikasa.

"It's not Titan research," Armin replied. "It's something else, though she wouldn't reveal the details. She said she thinks I will be of some use."

"Of course you will," Eren assured him. "You're the smartest soldier out there."

"Your strategies always work," Mikasa added, "and it's good that there will be someone sensible to balance out her craziness."

"You guys – you guys really think I can?" Armin looked at them earnestly, blue eyes shining.

"Of course," Eren and Mikasa said at the same time, both nodding vigorously.

"I – I'm glad," Armin confessed. "I think I actually _will _be of some use this way. I'm not the best and taking down Titans, but maybe, if her research can benefit mankind…"

"You'll do great, Armin," Mikasa said, her voice soothing.

"Yeah, I hope so. I start tomorrow, you know? That also means I'll be staying with you guys, so we'll see each other a lot more often!"

Eren and Mikasa exchanged a look at this.

"Yeah," Eren said awkwardly. "That'll be great."

"Eren?" Armin asked.

"Look Armin, Mikasa and I have to get back," he said.

"Levi-heichou makes us train at night," Mikasa added when she saw the quizzical look on her friend's face.

"At night?" Armin raised his eyebrows, "Gee, that's rough."

"So we'll, uh – we'll see you around later then?" Eren asked, slapping Armin on the shoulder.

"Tomorrow, right?"

"Bye, Armin," Mikasa said, touching his other shoulder for a moment, before she turned to follow Eren.

Armin stared intently at them as they waked away.

_Eren, Mikasa… what are you guys hiding from me?_

* * *

They met Levi at the stables once they had gathered their packs. Each of them had stocked up on extra blades, and canisters of gas as well.

One canister would easily last a straight journey to the wall and back, but they ended up using a lot more when they had to fight Titans. And deep in Titan territory, running out of gas meant death.

"We'll be taking a different route, so as to not pass through the Karanese district as we did on the last expedition," Levi informed them as they mounted their horses.

They rode through the forest, slices of moonlight filtering through the trees and casting a silver glow over everything.

When the forest thinned out, Eren could make out the stone of Wall Rose towering above them.

_There are Titans in there, _he thought, a chill going down his spine. _Enormous, colossal Titans. But why?_

There was a large wooden cabin near the edge of the wall, decrepit and nearly falling apart.

Levi dismounted his horse, and motioned for Eren and Mikasa to do the same.

The Corporal pulled out a large rusty key from underneath his cravat. He unlocked the doors, swinging them open, and walked in, leading his horse behind him.

Confused, Eren did the same, followed by Mikasa.

"We're resting already?" Eren asked.

They were in a bare room with musty curtains, thick with dust. It smelled of something old, rotting.

Levi didn't deign to reply, but scuffed the toe of his boot along the floor, as if feeling around for something.

"This place is _filthy_," he muttered under his breath, his voice dripping with contempt.

"I hope you don't plan to make us clean it, heichou."

Eren stifled a laugh as Levi glowered at Mikasa, who stared ahead innocently.

"I'll make _you _clean it, along with your filthy little mouth, the moment we're back," he threatened, before crouching down.

"Heichou?" Eren asked, "What are you—"

"Fucking _dust,_" Levi grumbled, slipping his fingers under one of the floorboards.

He lifted it, and with a creaking sound, an entire chunk of the floor came up, revealing a large, square shaped indent in the ground. Eren peered inside, and saw what looked like a rusted iron cage, without the top.

"Alright then. You get in." Levi nodded at Mikasa, without offering any further explanation.

Mikasa did as she was told, leading her horse with her. The animal seemed to feel uneasy, but she soothed it with soft words and a few gentle strokes.

Levi reached behind one of the curtains to reveal a lever, also covered in rust.

"_So _unsanitary," Eren heard him say, whipping out a napkin from his pocket to hold it with so that he didn't have to touch it directly.

Levi pulled the lever, and with a screeching sound, Mikasa and her horse slowly sank downwards.

"It's a lift!" Eren gasped.

"Aren't you a genius?" Levi said sarcastically, cranking the lever.

It took a surprisingly long time – almost twenty minutes – before the iron cage finally reemerged, this time with no Mikasa in it.

"Your turn, Eren."

"But how will you—"

"Just _go_," Levi said, shoving Eren forwards.

Eren led his horse into the cage and waited for a few moments before Levi began to lower him down as well.

His horse started to whine as they went down, nothing but damp earth surrounding the cage after they passed by the wooden floor.

"Shh, it'll be alright." Eren stroked the animal's mane, attempting to calm it.

He felt anxious himself – the lift shaft went down pretty deep. Deeper underground than he had ever been.

When it finally cranked to a stop, Eren saw Mikasa waiting with her horse.

"Are you alright?" she asked immediately.

"I'm fine," Eren said, stepping out.

Once he had coaxed his horse out of the cage, Mikasa pulled on another lever that was jutting out of the side of the wall. The lift began to rise again, soon blocking out the small beam of light that was coming from the above.

"What is this place?" Eren said, looking around.

It didn't help though; it was pretty much pitch black now, and he couldn't see much of anything even when his eyes adjusted to the dark.

"We're underground. Probably below the foundations of the wall." Mikasa's voice said from his left.

"So this tunnel…"

"It seems to lead right under Wall Rose. Though I don't know till where."

"Hm." Eren nodded, trying not to think of the fact that standing on the earth a few feet above them, embedded into the wall, were slumbering Titans.

"Where are you?" he asked after a moment. "I can't see you."

He could smell her faintly; the sweet smell of her that always reminded him of home. Eren reached out, and his hand touched her hair.

"I'm here, Eren," Mikasa said softly.

He took two steps closer to her, till his chest brushed against something soft.

In the dark, his nose bumped against hers, and suddenly, he could feel her breath, warm against his skin.

_Damn – too close!_

"E-Eren?" Mikasa sounded uncertain.

"S-sorry!" he yelped, stumbling back. "I can't see anything!"

He wondered why his cheeks felt so warm.

"Just stay still." Mikasa sighed, her hand finding his wrist and wrapping around it.

They stood there in silence for a few more minutes. Eren felt his heart beating much quicker than normal.

The screeching of metal grew louder as the lift finally came back down. Levi was holding a lantern in his hands, lighting the way.

Mikasa let go of Eren's wrist.

"Let's go," Levi said curtly, pulling his horse by the reins.

They followed him into a long tunnel, the longest tunnel Eren had ever been in. It was bumpy, and the horses were fidgety as they moved forward. There was nothing but bare, crumbling earth on either side of them, with only the wooden supports that held the cave up saving them from being crushed by soil and rock.

"Who built this?" Eren asked in a hushed voice.

"Humans, who else? You think Titans built it?" Levi snorted.

"I mean – how come more people don't know of it? Why haven't we used it before, like on the previous expedition?"

"You saw how much of a pain it was getting the three of us down here. How the hell do you propose to fit the entire Recon Corps into this hole?"

"Where does it lead to?" Eren asked, unfazed.

"A village near the Forest of Giant Trees," Levi said. "Destroyed now, but the tunnel and exit still exists. Or, we should hope it does. Or we'll be forced to dig ourselves out of this crap."

The tunnel sloped upwards and seemed to go on for miles. Levi set a quick pace, though it was much slower than if they had been riding across the countryside. For one thing, the tunnel was too low for any of them (even Levi) to ride horseback, so they had to walk. Still, it was far safer than being on Titan-infested plains.

"Does anyone else know about this?" Mikasa asked.

"Nobody we need to worry about," Levi said. "This tunnel was built years ago by smugglers. They used it to get goods across the Wall, avoiding the gates and the Imperial dogs. Obviously, nobody uses it now, and most of the people who knew of its existence are dead under the rightful law of the King."

His last few words rung with sarcasm, but it was no mystery that Levi regarded the higher ups with contempt.

_Still… most of the people? _

Eren couldn't help but wonder. He remembered Petra saying something once, about how Levi had been an underground thug of sorts.

_Could he have been part of a smuggling ring?_

Eren wasn't about to pose the question out loud though. He was glad enough that he had been granted permission to accompany them on the mission, so he didn't want to be a nuisance. He trusted Levi with his own life, but whatever Levi's current position was, but the idea of sending Mikasa off alone with an ex-convict did not sit well with Eren.

"How do you know all this?" Mikasa asked, and though her tone was neutral, Eren guessed that it had sparked her suspicions as well.

"I have my ways," Levi muttered, and nothing more was said on the topic.

* * *

Eren wasn't sure how long they walked in the tunnel; the hours seemed to stretch into days, and Levi only allowed them one quick period of rest which seemed to go by all too fast.

They ate while walking, chewing on the ration bars which were always provided to soldiers on long missions.

"This tastes like chalk," Eren grumbled.

"And with enough of them in you, so will you," Levi said. "Let's hope the Titan spits you out next time, instead of forcing you to transform."

Eren gritted his teeth, but said nothing.

* * *

"We're here," Levi said finally, and Eren heaved a sigh of relief.

The end of the tunnel was not dirt, but a large wooden door. It opened with a groan as Levi pushed it, and they stepped out into a large room, similar to the one they had entered from.

Eren took a deep breath, inhaling the crisp, cool air of the room, a stark contrast to the damp, musty air of the tunnel.

"It's still dark," Levi said. "We should make a move. Watch out for Titans. They could be hiding anywhere. It's likely they're inactive since the sun isn't out, but with the number of abnormals popping up, we can never be too sure."

"Are we heading through the Forest of Giant Trees?" Mikasa asked.

"No," Levi said. "It's ideal 3DMG territory, but after that last incident, it's probably still swarming with Titans. We're heading to a town that's a three hour ride from here. There's a basement I know of there where we can rest. It'll be safe, if we can get to it before the sun rises."

_A basement once full of smuggled goods, I suppose, _Eren thought to himself, though he guessed the real reason why Levi preferred avoiding the forest was different.

_His entire team was killed there. It probably holds bad memories for him._

* * *

The first hour was uneventful, and they managed to ride across the moonlit plains without encountering any Titans. Once, Eren saw a couple of Titans to the East. They were laid down on their sides and they looked as if they were slumbering peacefully, though Titans don't need sleep.

They were like large hills, rising out from the sea of silver grass.

Eren stared at them hatefully.

_They have no right to rest like that, so peacefully. Not when they've eaten so many people. Taken so many lives. _

Mikasa seemed to read his thoughts.

"Eren," she called softly, "don't. I want to as well, but the goal of this mission is our basement. Focus on that."

A few minutes later, they saw a deviant in the distance, jogging haphazardly in their general direction.

"Should we circle around it?" Eren asked.

"It's an abnormal, we have no idea what path it intends to take," Levi said. "We'd have to circle too far and it would waste too much time. My priority is getting there before sunrise."

"There's a chance it may miss us," Mikasa said.

"It's one abnormal, and we're not changing course for it. If the bastard is stupid enough to cross our path, we'll slit its neck."

Levi's voice was filled with venom, and Eren realized that it probably annoyed the Corporal as much as it did him to just pass all the inactive Titans without killing them.

* * *

After twenty minutes, the deviant's meandering path brought it close to their squad as they rode furiously across the plain. It finally caught sight of them and lunged forward.

Eren cursed, tugging on his reins and his horse swerved to the side, the aberrant's hand missing by a few feet.

A second later, Mikasa's form shot over his head; she had launched herself off the back of her horse, and flew forwards at a lightning fast pace.

"Eren, keep riding!" Eren heard Levi yell.

Eren leaned over and grabbed the reins of Mikasa's horse, riding forward, though he kept his head turned back.

He didn't need to worry though. Levi was in the air as well, swords drawn.

The Titan, distracted by Mikasa, swatted at her with a large hand. She spun around in a whirl of blades, slicing its fingers off. In the meantime, Levi launched himself up and cut a good chunk of its neck off.

The deviant crashed to the ground, howling.

Moments later, Levi pulled up beside Eren on his horse. Mikasa arced over both of them, twisting herself till she dropped neatly on the moving horse's saddle, and sheathed her blades.

"Next time, don't engage until you hear my order," Levi told her. "I want you to continue riding. I'll take them on. Same goes for you, Eren."

"Yes sir," Mikasa answered politely, though she sounded rather annoyed at this.

Eren could understand her frustration; the moment he saw the deviant, his first instinct had been to fight. But by the time he had dodged his attack and gotten his horse back on track, Mikasa and Levi had already killed it.

They were fast. _Too _fast.

"Stay alert," Levi said. "It screamed like a bitch when it fell, that's bound to have woken up some others."

* * *

Levi had been correct. Within the next thirty minutes, they encountered four Titans. Levi cut through them all with ease, his movements too fast for Eren to follow.

It was like the Titan would move to attack, and then seconds later, it would fall heavily to the ground, Levi remaining untouched. Sometimes Eren wouldn't even realize that the Corporal had left his horse, until he heard the whizzing sound of his blades singing as he whirled through the air, slashing lethally at the monsters.

_This is what they meant when they said humanity's strongest, _Eren thought in awe, glancing at the unfazed Corporal who had just taken down a fifteen meter class in seconds.

_She's no less, though. _He turned his head up, looking at Mikasa, who rode in front of him, her black hair and maroon scarf streaming behind her.

Eren suddenly wondered if he would be a match for either of them, even in his Titan form.

_What the hell am I even thinking about_?!

Eren shook his head and leaned forwards, spurring his horse on.

* * *

The sun had just begun to creep over the horizon when they neared the village.

"Fucked up timing," Levi cursed. "Titans swarm to villages. They'll just be getting up too."

Indeed, as they drew closer, Eren saw them, their ugly heads leering over the rooftops. Luckily, the Titans hadn't spotted them yet.

It was a small village, and Levi led the horses in a circle around it, scouting the situation from afar.

"I counted twenty," he said, "though there could be smaller ones crawling around."

"I counted twenty too," Mikasa said.

"Right then." Levi spurred his horse towards the village.

"Heichou," Mikasa called. "Permission to engage?"

"You may as well," Levi agreed. "It'll be quicker. Eren, you too. Keep count of your kills, as members of my squad. People will be wanting to know, once you're famous."

"I don't care about numbers, I just want to kill the bastards," Eren growled.

"Be my guest, just don't get eaten," Levi said.

The Titans caught sight of them as they neared the demolished gates of the village. They lumbered forwards, disturbing grins stretching across their large faces, hands outstretched in a sick welcome.

Levi and Mikasa shifted on their horses, so that they were crouched on their feet, ready to spring off their saddles. Eren did the same, initially struggling to keep his balance.

Mikasa leapt up first, firing her hooks at the nearest Titan. Eren didn't have time to watch her take it down though, as a fat ten meter class approached him.

He shot his hooks forwards, zipping right past its outstretched hands. The Titan jutted its neck out, biting at him, but Eren twisted away, landing on its shoulder. He launched himself off at the very next moment, rotating his hips the way he'd seen Mikasa and Levi do it.

"Die, you fucker!"

The momentum he generated spun him around violently and he slashed with his blades, a little surprised at how cleanly they cut the flesh.

"Eren!" Mikasa called.

He landed next to her, on the dissipating head of a Titan she had just taken down. Three more corpses lay around them. Levi was already racing towards the village.

"Let's go!" Eren yelled, itching to kill more.

"Be careful," Mikasa began, but Eren just shot forwards, ignoring her.

"Come on, Mikasa!" he shouted back, and two seconds later, she was hurtling through the air besides him.

Just as they flew over the gate of the village, a Titan sprung up from below, where it had lain waiting. Eren swerved away to avoid getting hit, but Mikasa looped around its outstretched arm instead, making cuts everywhere with blinding speed.

_How does she even do that?!_

The Titan roared loudly, but Mikasa soon silenced it, and its steaming corpse fell into a heap on the ground.

She flipped onto the rooftop, landing neatly next to him. Levi was waiting for them ahead, having just killed another fifteen meter class.

"Stay close," the corporal warned them, before he surged ahead.

There were more Titans than Levi and Mikasa had reported, hiding, crouched between the narrow streets and houses.

Eren cut down three more, feeling a burst of grim satisfaction every time his blades sliced through their necks.

_Come at me, you bastards. Keep coming at me. I'll kill you all. _

He was too busy to see what Mikasa and Levi were doing, but he could hear the sounds of zipping cords, the splatter of blades cutting through flesh, and the thumps, as Titan bodies hit the ground.

* * *

Eren cut down his seventh Titan, landing crouched on the nearest rooftop to catch his breath.

Across from him, Mikasa and Levi landed as well. There were three more Titans a little away, charging towards them.

"Stay put, I'll finish them off," Levi said, but Mikasa had already begun racing ahead.

Levi followed her, shooting his hooks forward.

The next few moments were chaotic, as the two twisted and spun around, almost instantly killing their prey. However, when it came to the third Titan, something weird happened.

Mikasa cried out, as she was suddenly yanked backwards, just moments before her blades made impact.

Eren's breath caught in his throat, and he leaped forward to catch her.

She seemed off balance, and Levi was cursing.

Mikasa managed to right herself before Eren reached her, and both she and Levi landed on another rooftop, as the Titan thundered along behind them.

"You're fucking kidding me," Levi muttered as Eren ran towards them.

"Mikasa! Heichou! What happened?!"

Then he realized it – amidst all the spinning and twisting around one another, Mikasa and Levi had gotten the wires of their 3DMG tangled up.

"Heichou – there's no time –" Mikasa said, as the Titan sprung forward.

"Follow my lead," Levi said, grabbing her and jumping up.

Somehow, they managed to maneuver over the shoulder of the Titan. They were almost back to back, the tangled wires wrapping around them.

"Heichou!" Mikasa yelled, as the Titan's large hand closed over them. Eren leapt towards them, slashing at the Titan's fingers, but he didn't need to.

Mikasa and Levi managed to cut out of the Titan's grip, tearing its flesh to ribbons as they spun around.

"Mikasa, go," Levi ordered, tossing the entwined cords and hook at a nearby wall with great strength, and swinging them around the back of the Titan's neck.

They whirled around again, and Mikasa swiped with her blades before Levi pulled them out of the swing, and they crashed, none too gently, on the rooftop.

"Mikasa… get off me…" Levi muttered, and Mikasa did just that, pulling herself out of the mass of cords and hooks.

"How did that even happen?" she asked, as Levi got to his feet.

"We'll sort this mess out later," Levi said. "Eren, stay on guard for now. Our mobility is being hampered by this."

The sun had risen, casting an orange glow over the rooftops.

Levi led them towards one of the dilapidated buildings. They were forced to walk on the ground, given the state of Levi and Mikasa's 3DMGs. Fortunately, they encountered no more Titans along the way.

"Hurry," Levi said, pushing open a door. "More will come now that it's daytime."

No sooner had they entered the dark room that a large figure hurtled towards them from the dark.

"Quick, Eren!" Levi shouted.

Eren jumped over the head of the three meter class as it tried to tackle him. It turned then, and lunged at Mikasa, who rolled away, but not before aiming a sharp kick at its head.

There was a crack, and the Titan screamed out, its head now hanging at an awkward angle. A jagged bone jutted out of its flesh. There was steam everywhere as the flesh repaired itself, but a second later, Eren had jumped on its back and stabbed his blades into its still-healing neck.

He lopped off a chunk of its flesh, which flew across the room.

Levi cursed, ducking down.

"Eren, if that shit had hit me, I would have _killed _you," Levi said darkly.

"Sorry heichou," Eren said, biting down a smile.

"Say that again, chibi," he heard Mikasa mutter besides him, and he could practically feel the rage that radiated off her form.

"I heard you, Mikasa," Levi drawled. "And when I said you were free to engage the Titans, I meant using your 3DMG."

"It was unusable, sir," Mikasa shot back. "And you're the one who always put stress on the importance of hand to hand combat."

"But to kick a Titan's neck open, seriously Mikasa…" Levi shook his head, sounded exasperated, "Okay, get in."

He opened a trap door which hid a staircase, and the three of them made their way down into the basement.

"What about the horses, heichou?" Eren asked.

"We'll find them later at night. They're well trained, and the Titans won't attack them."

* * *

They were in a cellar, as dark as the tunnel from before.

"This is a good fifteen meters underground," Levi said, pulling out a lantern from his pack and lighting a pair of matches. "No Titan will come here, and we've killed all the ones who would have followed us or searched. We'll stay here till nightfall, so sleep, eat, do whatever you want till then."

He set to working on disentangling the wires of his and Mikasa's 3DMGs.

Eren leaned against the wall, pulling another ration bar out of his pack.

"How far from Wall Rose are we?" he asked.

"Farther than we got in the first expedition," was all Levi said.

_Maybe it made sense, Irvin-danchou's crazy plan. _

With Levi and Mikasa there, Eren hadn't felt in any real danger at any point. Though he had killed his share of Titans, a part of him felt like it was because they were _letting _him. He was pretty sure that even with the 3DMG mess they had landed themselves into, the two of them would have gotten this far, even without him.

_I'm still glad to be here, _Eren thought as Mikasa seated herself next to him.

She pulled off her jacket and stretched her legs out, leaning against the wall.

"Hungry?" Eren asked her.

"No thanks," she said.

They sat in silence then, as Levi pulled apart the last of the wires.

"Nobody hears of this," he told Mikasa and Eren, tossing her wires aside.

It would be an amusing tale, Eren surmised, how humanity's two strongest soldiers got their 3DMG wires tangled mid-battle.

It had been dangerous though, the situation they had been put in. Eren was pretty sure a mess like that would have led to the death of any lesser soldier.

Beside him, he could hear Mikasa's soft breathing. She wasn't saying a word, and he glanced over at her.

She was staring straight ahead, and seemed to be deep in thought.

It was hard to imagine that just minutes ago, she had nearly kicked a Titan's head open.

_This mission might actually succeed, _Eren thought, _and then we'll go to Shiganshina, and discover the truth, the truth behind these bastards. _

He mulled over his own thoughts until a few minutes later, when he suddenly felt a weight on his shoulder.

He turned his head slightly. Mikasa had fallen asleep, her head resting on his shoulder. Her soft hair tickled his neck, and he could barely make out her face from the curtain of dark hair that swept over it. From what he could see, she looked so peaceful, lying there, fast asleep.

Eren felt a slight pang in his chest as he watched her quietly. It reminded him of happier days, when they had slept this way, below the trees, in open meadows, with not a care in the world.

And yet, here they were again, members of the Recon Corps, hiding in a basement as the land above them swarmed with Titans.

Eren scooted closer to Mikasa, shifting his position till her head lay more comfortably at the juncture of his shoulder and neck. His eyes felt heavy; he hadn't realized how tired he was.

Something about her presence, her warmth besides him, calmed him and put him at ease. He rested his head against hers. Moments later, Eren's eyes fluttered shut.

* * *

_Author's Notes: Did you like it? Please do let me know! I love reading all your wonderful reviews, they make me so happy. A special thank you to **aintthteren, whyspers, Elise, gladishjj, MikaEre, maesde, electricangel12, alittletasteofheaven, wanxerz, reihong, Brokenangelsely, animeloverforeverjapan, Pop, Martin, Robin, Phoebe, HurricaneKatty, StoryGamblette, Cassandaarrr, MasterSprintersan, BlackDesires, TheYellowMoon, Zyzz, Jenniferr, IVloogle **and **Keillor **for their wonderful words of encouragement! _

_I know I said this would be 3-5 chapters at first, but now I plan on expanding it to at least 10. I have a bunch of ideas, and want to go more into detail with the plot of SnK as a whole. Things like where the Titans came from, Levi's past, etc. It'll be my take on all of it, since we don't actually know what the hell is happening in the story. I won't be able to write anything near as epic as whatever Iyasama has in store, but I'll try. Chapter three is almost written actually, and I have the outlines for chapters four and five chalked out. _

_I have decided not to include any LeviMika in a romantic sense. They are my brotp though, and I think they're awesome together since they are so badass. There will be LeviMika bonding, but it will be largely platonic. If any LeviMika shippers wish to interpret it as romantic, they are free to do so. However, I won't right it specifically with the intention of being romance. _

_That's all for now. See you next chapter!_

_xx_

_HQ_


	3. Shiganshina

_Disclaimer: I don't own 進撃の巨人_

_Author's Notes: Thank you all for the wonderful reviews! They gave me such a warm, happy feels. *Glomps you all*_

_Here's the next installment. __I had initially written something twice as long, but I had to split it up and am publishing the second half as chapter four, though that'll take at least a week or two, because there's a lot I need to work on._

_I'd like to thank my beta for this chapter, **JamJackEvo **for all his help with this. You should all go read his fic **A Cruel and Beautiful World. **It has Titan!Mikasa and MikaEren and is so wonderfully written. He's still working on it, but it definitely deserves your time, so check it out. He has a wonderful style and the plot is turning out quite interesting. Also, thanks to my good friend **deathmakesapoet** for giving me advice on some of the characterization!_

___I hope you enjoy this chapter! _

* * *

**Losing Control**

**Chapter 3: Shiganshina**

* * *

The next few hours were a blur of horse-riding and the occasional Titan-killing. Time seemed to melt away as they pressed forward, only their goal of Shiganshina in mind. They made good speed across Titan territory, and Eren truly appreciated what a talented squad he was in.

The fact that it was just the three of them made it easy to pass through relatively unnoticed, and with Levi and Mikasa around, no Titan that did attack them posed a real threat.

They hadn't come across any intelligent Titans, which was fortunate. Levi had insisted on taking a route that meandered quite a long way from Shiganshina. When Wall Maria finally did come in sight, it was a portion of the wall that both Eren and Mikasa were both entirely unfamiliar with.

_I can't believe it! We actually made it, _Eren thought.

They left their horses at a small forest near the periphery of the wall, where there was plenty of grass and a stream nearby.

"Stay," Levi ordered his steed when he dismounted. "We'll only be a day or two."

"Will they actually listen?" Eren asked, wondering why the Corporal would bother giving verbal instructions to a horse.

"They're surprisingly well-trained," Levi said, before shooting his grapple hooks up into the grey stone of the wall that loomed over their heads.

"I'd suggest you hurry up," he called from above. "Two ten meter class, incoming."

Eren and Mikasa shot up after him and scaled up Wall Maria with ease. When the Titans arrived at the wall, they scrabbled uselessly at it with their oversized hands.

Eren turned back, looking down at their grotesque faces. His fingers itched to pull out his blades, so that he could rush back down the wall and slice their necks open.

"Eren. Come on," Mikasa said from besides him. "There will be plenty in Shiganshina."

Eren's grip on his blades tightened, as he continued his upwards climb.

_Rows of jagged teeth, bared in an eerie grin. A large hand, reaching down, fingers crushing. Teeth snapping shut as blood rained down. _

Though Eren loathed all the Titans, he had an especially strong personal vendetta against those in Shiganshina.

* * *

The view from the top of the wall was majestic. The sun was rising, casting its rays over the landscape that stretched ahead. Rolling hills, sparkling lakes, and in the distance, the rising peaks of mountains.

"That's the outside world, Mikasa," Eren murmured, standing beside her on the edge of the wall. "One day, once this is all over, we'll go there. Me, you and Armin. To the deserts, and the mountains… and that thing called the sea…"

"We will," Mikasa whispered. "One day."

"If you two are done sightseeing, we need to get a move on," Levi called. "We're safe up here, so we'll just travel along the wall. My estimate is that by today afternoon we'll be near Shiganshina."

True to Levi's guess, three hours later, the outward curving walls of Shiganshina became visible. There was still a long way to go, though their pace picked up quite a lot after that.

Eren, for one, seemed to have been overcome by a strong sense of urgency, and even suggested that they use their 3DMGs.

"Don't waste gas, you don't know when you might need it later," Levi said.

* * *

When they arrived at the part of the wall directly overlooking Shiganshina, the sun was just setting, drenching the sky and the rooftops blood red.

It was fitting, in a macabre sense, considering the kind of massacre that had occurred in the district five years ago.

Eren and Mikasa stood there solemnly, surveying the remnants of the destroyed village, the village that had been their home.

"There's the river where Armin showed us his books," Eren said, after a few moments of silence. "Can you see it, Mikasa?"

"I see it," she replied.

"And there – those meadows, we used to go collecting wood there…"

"You mean I collected wood while you slept off," Mikasa corrected.

"Oh, shut up. And there-" Eren's voice cracked, his eyes stinging, "-the market was there. The one where – m-mother used to go…"

Mikasa's eyes followed his gaze to the market, and then over the familiar little streets they had run through as children.

And then, just around the corner from the market, they saw it.

They could barely make it out. It was just a pile of debris and cracked wood where a house had once stood.

It hadn't been a large house, or an extravagant one. It had been small, sparsely furnished, but comfortable. Full of warmth, and love. And it had housed a family once: a father, a strict but loving mother, and two children, a girl and a boy.

"And there," Eren began in a hoarse whisper, pointing towards the pile of debris, his finger trembling, "that's where – that's where-"

He choked back a sob.

Mikasa felt a tug at her heart, her eyes growing moist.

She reached down, taking Eren's hand in her own. He didn't pull away, as she curled her fingers around his.

Eren squeezed her hand tightly, so tightly, as they stood there after five years, gazing at the remnants of their home.

There were still plenty of Titans in Shiganshina, though not as many as there had been before when it was first breached. Most of them were prowling at the edges of the wall.

Mikasa ignored them at first, preferring to pretend that they weren't there, and that the village below was safe, untouched.

That's when she saw it, out of the corner of her eye.

She almost dismissed it, but it was a shape that Mikasa wasn't likely to forget, ever in her life.

Her heart pounded rapidly when she looked closer, just able to make out the golden hair and the razor sharp teeth bared in a disproportionately large grin.

Adrenaline surged through her veins, and Mikasa felt like her head was spinning, as images, memories, assaulted her mind.

_A hand stretching out desperately, as a woman screamed, tears streaming down her face. _

_'Eren! Mikasa! Live on!' _

_The familiar silhouette of a lady, thrashing against the enormous hand that lifted her, beating her fists against it in her last desperate attempt to fight, even though she knew it was futile - _

"N-no." Mikasa felt herself trembling violently. "NO!"

* * *

Eren whipped his head around.

"Mikasa-"

He had never seen her look this distraught, this _angry _in her life. She was shaking, and her teeth were bared, her eyes wide, and her pupils dilated.

"Mikasa," Levi strode forwards. "Mikasa, calm down."

Mikasa turned to Eren then, and he noticed that her face was stained with tears.

"Eren," she said, and though her voice was shaking, it was full of fury, a cold, unadulterated fury that sent a chill down Eren's spine.

It was the first time she had spoken his name in such a tone.

And then, it hit him, and his heart nearly stopped.

His gaze riveted to the spot Mikasa had been staring at, and he froze, the hatred that had been boiling within him surging forward.

* * *

Levi wasn't quite sure what had had come over Eren and Mikasa. He had expected them to be emotional when they reached their old village again, especially Eren. But he was still surprised at the outburst from Mikasa, who was usually so calm and collected over everything.

Eren had suddenly gone stiff though, at the sight of something, and Mikasa looked more dangerous than ever.

"Mikasa," Eren said, his voice deathly quiet. "Let's go."

And then, without warning, the two of them practically exploded forwards, jumping off the wall.

"Eren! Mikasa!" Levi shouted, jumping down after them. "Stop! What are you _doing_?! Get the fuck back here, we're not engaging them till nightfall!"

Both teenagers ignored him though, and raced ahead, moving faster than Levi had ever seen them. They were both using up way too much gas.

"Mikasa!" Levi pulled up beside her. "What the hell do you think you're doing?! Get Eren and get back up. It's an order!"

Mikasa ignored him though, her eyes trained forward, a snarl pulling at her lips. Levi noticed that her eyes were rimmed with red. She looked altogether frightening.

He had never seen Eren and Mikasa so out of control before, as they raced ahead, ignoring everything in their path. Levi had to cut away two Titans that cropped up in their path; he would have expected Mikasa to slash their necks, but she just dodged them and continued on after Eren.

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" Eren screamed, "I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL FUCK YOU UP! I'LL FUCKING RIP YOUR NECK OUT AND KILL YOU!"

There was such raw emotion in his voice, pain mixed with an unmatchable fury.

"Eren!" Levi called again, following the boy. "Eren, _wait-"_

And then Levi saw it: the Titan that Eren and Mikasa were so focused on. It was a fifteen meter class, its ribs protruding against its skin. It had golden hair and an enormous grin.

Levi had heard of Eren's past, of the Titan that had eaten his mother.

_Could that be…?_

* * *

Eren had never felt such blind rage in his life. He shot himself forward, drawing his blades. Besides him, he saw Mikasa do the same, for once, not worrying over his safety.

It was vengeance she wanted then, just like him. It was what they both wanted. And now, they finally had the power to achieve it.

Eren didn't even aim at the Titan's neck at first, slashing its fingers off when it reached for him.

"TAKE THAT YOU FUCKING MONSTER!" he choked out, before spinning around and hacking at the Titan's hand again, and again.

That was the hand that had taken his mother from him, the hand that had twisted her and broken her bones.

Eren heard Levi shout something, but ignored him, intent on destroying the hand that had killed his mother.

The Titan reached forwards with its other hand, but Mikasa leapt at it with a cry, slicing off all its fingers, before aiming at its face. She stabbed it then, relentlessly, spraying them both with steaming, hot blood.

"Die!" he heard her say, her voice cold. "Die, die, _die_!"

The Titan wasn't dying though, and Mikasa soon left its face as it began howling in agony.

"You _deserve _this," she hissed, and then she spun around again, like a hurricane, ripping up and down the Titan's body, cutting and slashing brutally.

The Titan fell to its knees, its body ripped to shreds, steaming thickly as it regenerated.

"Eren," Mikasa's voice was piercing. "_Do it!"_

And then Eren did, stamping on the Titan's head, and slashing deeply into its neck.

"DIE YOU FUCKER!"

It was the deepest cut he had ever made, but it wasn't enough for him. He slashed again and again and again, intent on severing the Titan's head from its body.

"Don't fucking disappear," he cursed, kicking at it. "I'm not done with you yet, you fucking shit!"

Mikasa wasn't done either, whirling around at a lightning pace, stabbing and slashing wherever she could. The Titan was in at least a hundred pieces by the time its body finally vanished away.

And Eren and Mikasa were both left clutching broken blades, as the blood that covered them dissipated into thin air.

Levi grabbed them both by the collars then, yanking them up.

He pulled them forwards, and the three of them raced back to the wall. Levi swiftly dealt with the few Titans that came in their way. They scaled the wall with their hooks and cords, just as the sun set in the distance, casting Shiganshina into darkness.

* * *

"That bastard!" Eren was still sobbing, falling to his knees atop the wall and banging his fist against the stone. "That – motherfucker –"

Mikasa sat down beside him, perfectly still, though even Levi couldn't bring himself to look into her eyes then.

She reached out after a few moments, touching Eren's shoulder.

"Eren?" she asked tentatively.

He ignored her, but she kept her hand on his shoulder, and it seemed like he was soothed by her touch.

A few minutes later, Mikasa stood up, her expression and voice back to normal.

She turned to Levi, who was a little taken aback at how she calm looked now. Just minutes ago, she had been so full of hatred, fueled by a murderous desire he had rarely ever seen in a soldier.

Eren had been the same, if not worse.

"Heichou," Mikasa said, her voice flat. "Sorry about before. There was something that Eren and I had to deal with."

"Warn me before you pull a stunt like that again," Levi muttered, deciding he would let it slide.

He couldn't blame Eren and Mikasa for their impulsive actions, not if the Titan they had just butchered had been the one responsible for destroying their house and eating Eren's mother. And Levi strongly suspected that it had been exactly that.

"Eren." Mikasa turned to the boy, who stood up silently.

His eyes were bright, but hard as steel. There was something different in him, something tougher than before.

_I'll have to keep an eye out for both of them, _Levi thought. _They may behave unpredictably here, and it will make them more reckless than usual. _

"We need to stock up on gas; you both used up way too much," Levi said. "Once that's done, we can head for your basement."

"Yes sir."

* * *

They made it to the pile of debris without a hitch, to Levi's great relief. He was still on the lookout for unexpected behavior from Eren and Mikasa.

Though both appeared edgier than usual, they stuck to the plan.

"I'll keep a lookout and deal with any incoming Titans," Levi said. "You two find the basement door."

Eren and Mikasa dug through the debris for the next few minutes, neither uttering a single word. The night was eerily silent, other than the sound of shifting wood, and the thumps of Titan footsteps in the distance.

"Found it." Eren's voice cut through the night.

"Does the key work?" Levi asked.

Eren fidgeted with it for a moment, and then Levi heard a clicking sound.

"Eren, you and Mikasa go in, and get whatever it is you need to get. Don't waste time looking through it, we can do that once we're at a safer location. Hurry, so we can get out of this place."

"Yes sir."

* * *

There was a twisting staircase that led down to the basement below where the Jaeger house once stood. Mikasa and Eren made their way carefully down, the gas canisters and propellers of their 3DMGs scraping against the narrow walls.

Once they were inside, Eren removed a candle from his pack, lit it, and placed it on one of the dust-covered tables. They were in what looked like a dungeon, and there were cobwebs everywhere. Large shelves lined the walls, filled with test tubes, syringes and shattered flasks.

"Eren," Mikasa murmured. "I think – I think I've been here before."

"Don't be ridiculous," Eren told her. "Even I've never been here. How is that possible?"

"I don't know," Mikasa admitted, clutching her head at the sudden, sharp, throbbing pain.

"Are you alright?" Eren asked her, grabbing her shoulders as she reeled forward.

"I – I'm fine," Mikasa said, rubbing her eyes. "My head… I don't know what happened, I think I'm getting a headache though…"

"Just ignore it." Eren released her shoulders. "You'll be fine."

He walked towards the shelves, examining their contents.

Mikasa felt a chill run down her spine, and reached forwards, taking Eren's hand.

"What?" he sounded annoyed.

"Sorry – I just – " Mikasa broke off, unsure of what to say.

She didn't know what it was about the dungeon, but something within her told her that there was something terribly _wrong_ about the place.

Eren seemed to realize that there was something bothering her, and sighed.

"Stop being such a child, Mikasa," he chided. "It's unlike you."

But even then, he slid his fingers through hers, tugging her forward.

"C'mon."

Mikasa was comforted by the feeling of Eren's warm hand in hers, and let him lead her through the room.

Eren peered over the shelves. Most of the tubes and flasks were empty, their contents having spilled or dried up years ago.

"I don't think it's anything here," Eren muttered.

"Do you even know what we're supposed to be looking for?" Mikasa asked.

"No idea," Eren confessed. "But I feel like I'll know when I see it."

They searched a bit more, and a few minutes later, they heard large thuds above them.

"The Titans," Mikasa bit out. "Eren, _hurry."_

"I'm trying!" Eren snapped, looking frantically through all the shelves.

There was nothing there, no piece of paper, nothing but broken glass, quills, and dried up inkwells.

The thuds grew louder, and it sounded like there were more of them. There were howls too, strange animalistic howls.

"Maybe I should go up," Mikasa said, "and assist Levi-heichou-"

"Found it!" Eren cried suddenly.

There was a small box, resting on the very edge of the last shelf. On top of it rested a piece of paper, yellowed with age.

Eren picked up the box and the paper, holding it under the candlelight.

"'To Eren'" he read aloud, as the paper crumbled between his fingers. "That's all it says. My father wrote that. Mikasa, this is it!"

Eren ran his thumb along the top of the box. It was perfectly smooth under his fingers.

The thuds increased in frequency, and the ground seemed to shake. Bits of the dirt crumbled off the ceiling.

"Eren!" Mikasa yanked on his hand. "We need to leave. It sounds like there are a lot of them!"

She started up the stairs.

"Right," Eren muttered, placing the box securely into his pack, and followed Mikasa.

"It's going to be tricky getting out of this if there are Titans above us," Mikasa said. "With all the debris, there isn't much space to move around."

"You're worrying over a few Titans now, Mikasa?" Eren scoffed. "Seriously, what's wrong with you?"

"I don't know," Mikasa shook her head, trying to get rid of the sick feeling that she had felt ever upon entering the basement. "Let's just get out of here as soon as we can."

Eren pushed the trapdoor open, only to be greeted with an enormous, sneering Titan face.

The creature's hand grasped at him, but Mikasa pulled out her blades from behind him, and slashed its fingers off.

"Thanks," Eren muttered, jumping out and extending a hand down to pull Mikasa up.

"Eren – behind you – " she began, but then drew her arm back and flung one of her blades at the Titan behind Eren.

Eren turned around to see it metal impale itself directly into the Titan's large eye. The creature moaned and thrashed, and Mikasa quickly scrambled out of the door, slamming it shut with her foot.

She shot her hook into the flesh of the Titan's shoulder, yanking her sword out of its steaming eye as she zipped upwards, and then nimbly flipped around, using the same sword to slash through its neck.

Eren looked up to see Levi fighting three Titans at once – spinning around furiously, his blades whipping out in all directions as he moved between them like a tornado.

One by one, the Titans fell down, only to be replaced by another wave.

Mikasa had taken to the air now, and Eren did as well, launching his hooks into the back of a Titan that was charging at Levi. He pulled himself forwards and slashed its neck cleanly, before taking a look around.

"The fuck!" Eren swore.

There were swarms of them, more than he had ever seen in one place, and they were all gathering to the very spot Eren, Mikasa and Levi were currently at.

"Did you get it?" Levi yelled, sending another fifteen meter class toppling.

"Yes!" Eren shouted back. "What the hell is going on?! How are so many here?"

"No fucking idea. They seem to have developed some method, and keep calling for more. I must have killed at least twenty by now, but the bastards keep coming."

Eren dodged an incoming fist and looped around another Titan, cutting its neck with two parallel swipes. He nearly smashed into a second one then, and had to throw his entire weight to one side to avoid its mouth, as he swerved out of the reach of its snapping jaws.

"Be careful, Eren!" Mikasa cried, as she swung over him right onto the head of a fifteen meter class.

"There's no place – to frickin' navigate – " Eren yelled. "This is crazy!"

No amount of training had prepared them for this. There were so many Titans, so tightly packed in a small space – they had no way to escape, and an extremely limited space to move using their 3DMGs.

It wasn't a matter of killing Titans anymore, Eren realized with growing horror, watching Levi and Mikasa jump from Titan to Titan, spinning around furiously; the most effective way to slash as many necks at once.

They were fighting to survive.

Despite their efforts, the mass of Titans closed in on them. There was no way they could escape, and there was a limit to how long even Mikasa and Levi could keep fighting. Eventually, their blades would grow dull, they would run out of gas…

_No, _Eren thought, _not now! Not when we're so close!_

They had to break through the sea of Titans. But neither Mikasa nor Levi, despite their speed and agility, could do it. There was just no space, nothing to use to propel them forwards.

_They just need the way cleared for them, one escape route, that's all!_

And then it struck him, and Eren bought his thumb to his mouth.

There was no need for stealth anymore. Every single Titan in the vicinity had somehow already been drawn to them.

"Eren!" Levi yelled, as if sensing his thoughts. "No! Don't – "

"Eren, _wait_-" Mikasa flew towards him.

_I have to get them out of here._

Eren bit his thumb, tasting the metallic tang of blood on his tongue.

* * *

There was an explosive noise, and moments later, a large, muscled Titan was standing where Eren stood before, its bright green eyes gleaming.

The Titan snorted, bringing its fists up to its chin in a fighting position.

* * *

_Kill them. Kill them all. Get Mikasa and Levi out._

Eren charged into the sea of Titans, punching, kicking and biting at their necks. He picked up some of the smaller ones, flinging them away over the rooftops.

Besides him, Mikasa and Levi danced in a whirlwind of wires and blades.

The Titans bit at him as well, but Eren just roared, shaking them off, and continued fighting, pushing through the crowd.

Mikasa suddenly landed on his shoulder, and she was saying something urgently.

He could barely make out her words though, amidst all the noise.

It was like she was telling him to move, to move away from something.

_But what? What do you want me to move away from? _

"You're crushing it!" Mikasa shouted.

_Crushing what? The Titan? That's good, isn't it, Mikasa? They all deserve to be crushed. They all deserve to die, the fuckers!_

Eren fought his way through the crowd, and suddenly Mikasa disappeared from his view, doubling back.

He spun around, his dark hair whipping his face.

_What the hell are you doing, Mikasa?! Why the hell are you going back there! You should be escaping!_

Levi followed her, and some of the Titans made to follow them, but Eren tackled them at once, grappling, kicking, fighting.

_Fight! Fight! Fight to win!_

Mikasa was on his shoulder again, and her lips were pursed. She looked upset, and Eren couldn't understand why. She was carrying something, slung across her back, though Eren couldn't clearly make out what it was.

_I saved you Mikasa, don't you get it? I'm saving you! Why are you just standing there? Fight! _

Eren bellowed, and charged into the crowd of Titans again. Mikasa and Levi both followed him this time.

When he finally saw a clearing, Eren grabbed them both in his hands, and sprinted ahead. Just as the Titans closed in on him, he tossed them up, as high as he could.

Both of them used the opportunity to latch their 3DMG cords onto tall buildings, and swung themselves out of the crowd of Titans.

* * *

Levi landed neatly on top of a half-demolished bell tower, surveying the situation below. Mikasa landed next to him, crouching down.

"Eren got us out," she said. "But what about himself? How are we supposed to get him out like this?"

Below them, Eren was struggling against the throng of Titans, all of whom now seemed intent on devouring him.

"I have an idea," Levi said after a moment. "But you're not going to like it."

"Do share," Mikasa muttered.

"He's not going to make it out in that form. He's too big, and there are too many of them. We'll have to cut him out."

"No," Mikasa said, her face hardening. "No, I won't let you do that to Eren."

"It's the _only _way-"

"It's too dangerous! You could kill him!"

"I won't. He can regenerate," Levi said quickly, making a face. "But it will put him through hell and back in terms of pain."

"No," Mikasa shook her head. "There must be another way. That's too dangerous, you can't-"

"He'll die if we leave him to those fuckers. They'll devour him." Levi shook her shoulders roughly. "Mikasa, I'm going to go back down and cut him out. I'll need you to pull me up when I'm done."

"N-no." Mikasa's voice shook, her face pained.

Levi was surprised to see her show so much emotion, yet again.

"Do you always get this worked up over Eren?" he asked her, and she gave him no response.

"Look. I'm in charge, and I say I'm cutting him out. In case my movements are limited, be sure to get me out of the mess, and that's an order-"

"I'll do it!" Mikasa cried. "If anyone is going to do it – it has to be me."

"What, you don't trust me?" Levi asked, annoyed.

"It's not that," Mikasa's eyes glistened. "Heichou… _please…_"

"Are you sure you'll be able to go through with it, Mikasa?" Levi asked, looking straight into her eyes.

"I'll do it," Mikasa said firmly, glancing downwards, where Eren was struggling against the Titans.

"Alright then," Levi muttered, pulling out one of hooks of his 3DMG. "Come here."

He grabbed Mikasa's belt and yanked her towards him.

"Heichou-"

"Shut up for a second."

Levi wrapped the wire twice around her waist, before tying it into a knot, securing it with the hooked end.

They were now connected, and even if Mikasa wasn't able to find leverage to pull herself up from the mass of Titans (also given that her arms would be full with carrying Eren), he would be able to pull her out.

"This should work," Levi said.

He slid a few meters down the clock tower, to the ledge just next to the large, rusted bell. The surface was flat there, and gave him a good footing, and he wrapped his arm around the stone pillar, securing his position. He was high enough that the Titans wouldn't be able to reach him – unless one of them was an aberrant, and decided to jump.

But fortunately or unfortunately, the Titans seemed rather occupied with Eren for the moment.

"You'll have to do it with one cut," he called to Mikasa. "There's no time for more. As long as you don't chop his head off, it should be fine. Now go!"

Mikasa swung down, flying directly towards Eren's Titan form. Her face was set in concentration, and she spun around once, making an enormous sweep with her blades.

Levi heaved a sigh of relief – Mikasa's perfectionist nature really came in handy at times like this. Even during training, she had always been so precise when she made her cuts, sometimes redoing them if they didn't turn out a certain way.

He had wondered at this at first, but had then dismissed it as a weird quirk.

But perhaps she had always known the time would come when she would be required to do something like this.

Eren's Titan form barely had time to register the pain and roar out as a large chunk of its neck flew through the air, falling down into the sea of swarming Titans underneath.

Levi's heart nearly stopped for a moment, but Mikasa was lightning fast, shooting forwards and grabbing the steamy, fleshy, bloody mess in her arms.

It was larger than her, the chunk of flesh, and took both her arms to carry it. It weighed her down as well, and Mikasa would have fallen right into the open mouths and outstretched hands of the Titans then, if Levi had not yanked hard on the wire of his 3DMG, the wire that was connected to her harness.

She whipped back through the air, and crashed into him.

Levi tumbled backwards, hitting his head on the bell, which started ringing loudly at the impact.

He cursed, his eyes stinging from the blow. There was a throbbing pain in his head. He'd probably ended up incurring a concussion.

Below, the Titan mob, attracted by the pealing bell, and having watched their prey snatched out of their grasp, now converged on the bell tower.

It started shaking.

"We have to get the fuck out of here, and _fast_," Levi said, and Mikasa quickly rolled off of him.

"I'll take Eren," he said, and when it looked like she was going to argue, he added, "I'm stronger."

Mikasa shut her mouth, her eyes flashing as she handed the mess that was Eren to Levi.

Most of the muscles and Titan flesh clinging to Eren's form had dissipated already. Mikasa had chopped both of his hands off with the cut, and his shins, from below his knees.

Eren's form was dripping with blood, and Mikasa was covered with it as well; on her face, her hands, her clothes.

It made her look absolutely frightening, and it also made Levi badly want to dump a bucket of water on her, and tell her to go scrub herself till she was clean again.

But there was no time for that.

"You did a good job," he told her approvingly.

Eren had more than half of his legs and arms in tact; that in itself was commendable.

Mikasa, however, looked completely distraught as she stared at Eren's bloodied form, her eyes teary and wide.

"He'll be fine, see, he's growing them back already," Levi assured her. "He's like a fucking lizard. It's disgusting."

He earned a glare for the comment, but he ignored it, hoisting Eren onto his back, as Mikasa unhooked his 3DMG from her belt.

They both stood up, as the tower started shaking violently. Levi peered down below. The Titans were trying to climb it, but were failing, fortunately for them.

"Stupid shits." Levi spat down on them, before turning to Mikasa. "Race you to the wall?"

Mikasa didn't reply, but shot her hooks into the next building and jumped off the tower.

* * *

They sped to the wall, both of them using more gas than usual. They were focusing on agility this time, since they were both carrying way too much extra baggage that would make fighting and maneuvering difficult.

They swerved or jumped over any Titan that came in their paths, and made it to the wall within five minutes, followed by a large mob of stampeding Titans.

They scaled up the wall, only stopping to rest when they were a good thirty meters up, well out of the reach of the mass below.

The Titans clawed at the wall, screeching and moaning, their fingers scrabbling ineffectively against its stone surface.

In the distance, the bell tower crashed to the ground.

"Those jackasses seem less stupid now," Levi observed disdainfully. "That's going to be a problem."

"How's Eren?" Mikasa asked, her voice shriller than usual.

"Don't you have a one-track mind." Levi resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "He's not in any danger. You saved his life. Just shut up and be happy."

He started climbing the wall again, and Mikasa followed him. The moment they were safely on top, she all but wrenched Eren out of his arms.

"Eren," she cried, her eyes wide as she took in his steaming limbs.

They were regenerating pretty quickly. Levi figured that by morning he would be perfectly fine.

"I'm so sorry," Mikasa whispered, placing Eren gently on the ground.

She leaned against the stone then, pulling Eren's head into her lap.

"What the heck are you apologizing to him for?" Levi slumped against the wall next to her. "You saved his life. Again."

"And still, come morning, he'll resent me for it," she said, so softly, that he almost didn't hear her.

"Why are you so obsessed about him?" Levi had to ask. "What is he to you?"

"He's – he's my family," Mikasa said, biting her lip, before adding. "He's _everything_."

They were both silent then, pondering their own thoughts.

Mikasa brought out a napkin from her pack, poured water over it, and began wiping at Eren's blood-stained face. Her movements were gentle, her gaze soft, and Levi watched her out of the corner of his eye.

_Family, huh? What kind of family though, I wonder. Surely not a brother?_

Her actions were too tender to be sisterly.

"You should wash yourself first, before you start cleaning him," Levi finally said, wrinkling his nose. "You're gross."

"That's good then. Should keep you away from me," Mikasa retorted.

* * *

Mikasa was the first to wake the next morning, just as the sun rays filtered over the horizon. Levi was still fast asleep, and Eren was as well, his head resting in her lap.

Mikasa's back ached slightly from spending the entire night sitting against the stone wall, but she ignored it, her eyes glancing over Eren's form.

He was completely healed, with both his hands and feet as good as new.

Mikasa breathed a sigh of relief. She knew, all along, that he would regenerate, but nonetheless, something about seeing him without any hands or feet, and knowing that _she _was the one responsible for cutting them off – it had been very jarring.

She ran her hand through Eren's brown hair, relishing the feel of the soft locks between her fingers. It was something that she had always longed to do, but had never dared to try.

Besides, she knew Eren would push her away if she did. He had always hated when she coddled him.

She placed her other hand on his chest, feeling the reassuring beat of his heart beneath her fingertips.

He looked so peaceful when he was asleep. His brow was smooth, as opposed to the way it was perpetually furrowed when he was awake. He was usually frowning or scowling at something or the other.

Mikasa liked seeing him like this, though it made her sad that the only time she could was when he was sleeping.

She continued to stroke his hair, drifting into her own thoughts.

When she glanced back down at his face, her heart gave a wild leap, as a pair of brilliant turquoise eyes stared back.

"E-Eren, you're awake," Mikasa flushed slightly. "I – I didn't realize."

She quickly retracted her hand from his hair, though she was surprised when he didn't immediately sit up, but continued to lie there, with his head in her lap.

"Still treating me like I'm your baby, huh," he murmured after a moment, though an imperceptible smile pulled at his lips.

"Sorry."

"Never mind." Eren rubbed at his eyes. "What exactly happened yesterday?"

"How much do you remember?" Mikasa asked, feeling rather overjoyed that he was carrying a conversation with her, perfectly content to rest in her lap.

_He's probably just exhausted. Don't read too much into it._

"I know I transformed. And I kind of remember fighting a lot of Titans. And throwing you and Levi-heichou out of there. But I don't know how I got out of the mess."

"I had to cut you out," Mikasa said quietly.

Eren raised an eyebrow.

"_You _did?" he asked.

"There were too many Titans, and there was no other way. I sliced you out, and heichou pulled us both up."

"Well, I'm glad I don't remember that," he muttered. "Sounds painful. So, what parts did you end up cutting off?"

Mikasa winced at the way he said it, so casually.

"Both your hands… and your legs too, from below your knees."

"Hm," Eren raised his hand, examining it.

"I'm so sorry," Mikasa said tremulously.

Eren stared at her.

"What the heck are _you_ apologizing for?"

"Your limbs… I cut them all off…" Mikasa's voice wavered.

Eren looked at her, bemused.

"But you _had _to," he said.

"Still. I don't know. I felt really terrible doing it."

"Mikasa," Eren rolled his eyes, exasperated. "Don't be stupid. I'm fine."

When she didn't respond, he reached for her hand that was resting on his chest, and covered it with his own.

Mikasa's heart gave another leap at this, and she found herself feeling rather breathless at his touch.

"See." Eren squeezed her hand gently. "It's back. I'm fine. No lasting damage done."

Mikasa felt her cheeks heat up, and nodded at him, finding herself unable look away from his eyes – not when he was gazing at her so intently, for once.

All of his attention had been focused on her at that moment. Her, and not the Titans nor his hatred nor his ambition. Mikasa had wanted that and craved that from him for so long, and it had been over five years since he'd looked at her like that, actually _looked. _

_This is like a dream, _Mikasa thought, her heart beating rapidly, as he lay there in her lap, his hand covering hers.

It wasn't easy, tearing her eyes away from his, but Mikasa felt that if she looked at him for any longer at that point, she wouldn't be able to control herself, and the words would just tumble out, and she would end up saying something that they would both regret.

They were both silent after that, Mikasa staring straight ahead, while Eren continued to look up at her, deep in thought.

She was entirely focused on the feeling of his hand, the roughness of his skin against hers, and his thumb, as it absently traced random patterns across her palm.

A few moments later, Eren reached up, and she felt his fingers playing with her hair.

It sent Mikasa's stomach aflutter, and she looked down, drawn back into his turquoise gaze.

He had such beautiful eyes, so expressive. And for once, they were filled with something other than anger and pain.

Eren looked at her thoughtfully, as he twirled strands of her hair around his fingers.

He had always had a fixation with her hair, even when they were little.

"It's longer," Eren stated. "Your hair, I mean. Like before."

It _was _longer, falling below her shoulders and almost reaching her chest.

"Do you want me to cut it again?" she asked him.

"I wasn't saying that."

Mikasa tilted her head. Eren was being very strange. She wondered if the Titan transformation had caused him to sustain some sort of brain damage.

_He isn't acting like himself at all. Not that I mind. It would be nice if he acted like this more often…_

"Weren't you worried it'll get caught in my 3DMG?"

"No," he said simply.

And then Mikasa remembered.

"Eren!" she cried suddenly. "Your 3DMG!"

"Huh?" Eren looked confused. "What about it?"

"You _destroyed _it."

Mikasa pointed to the mangle of burnt, crumpled metal and wires that lay in a heap a little away from them.

Eren turned his head sideways, looking at it.

"What the heck happened to that?!"

"It's all your fault," Mikasa informed him. "You transformed, without even taking it off. It couldn't merge into the Titan body. The heat and pressure from the transformation was too much. To add to that, you stepped on it once it fell off, and crushed it even more."

"…shit."

"This is why heichou and I _told _you not to transform. But you didn't listen to us. You're too impulsive, as always, Eren, and one day it's going to get you killed-"

"Well I'm sorry for saving your lives," Eren snapped, shoving her hand off his chest and sitting up.

He was scowling now, and Mikasa's heart sank.

_I've done it again. He's angry, like he always was. I should have just let him be, he was so calm… _

Still, she was too deep in by then.

"You didn't need to transform for that. Levi-heichou and I could have managed-"

"Mikasa, give me a break, even _you're _not strong enough to battle through that many Titans and make it out alive. You would have run out of gas eventually. And there was no space to _move_."

"And how do you propose to move at _all _now, given you've ruined your gear?"

"I'll figure something out-"

"Like what exactly-"

"Why are you always on my case?!"

Eren stood up, and stalked over to the other side of the wall, shooting her a glare. Mikasa stared stonily back, though on the inside, a part of her wanted to cry.

_It was going so well, for once. Why does it always end like this?_

"For fuck's sake, you two are the most _annoying _brats to wake up to, you know that," Levi announced, not sounding happy.

* * *

"Good morning, heichou," Mikasa greeted coolly.

"Really? Who says?" Levi asked sourly. "Eren, I see you've recovered fully. You were a lot more pleasant when you were incapacitated. Next time, cut out his tongue, will you Mikasa?"

"You don't seem very happy, sir," Eren observed.

"Brilliant deduction, Eren," Levi shot back. "If only you had used one tenth of that mental prowess yesterday, before transforming."

"I saved your lives!"

"We didn't need saving, you moron. We would have figured _something _out. You _did_,however, succeed in wrecking your 3DMG, thus jeopardizing our chances of getting back alive. And you would have lost what we came here for in the first place, if Mikasa hadn't had the presence of mind to look for it and pick it up, _amidst _the whole Titan-slaying shitshow that was going on."

Levi gestured at Eren's tattered pack, which contained the precious box. Fortunately, unlike the 3DMG, which had been securely attached by multiple belts to Eren's body when he transformed, causing it to suffer quite a bit of damage before it had finally been ripped off, the pack had just two straps, which had burned away rapidly.

It had fallen down without much further damage, and Mikasa had retrieved it quickly thereafter.

Eren gulped.

"Ah," was all he managed to say.

Mikasa remained silent, crossing her arms.

"Is there anything else, heichou?" Eren asked after a moment, seeing that Levi was still frustrated about something.

"Yes, in fact there is," Levi said, now glaring at the both of them. "Both of you _stink _like Titan crap. You need baths."

* * *

They made their way along the top of the wall. Levi intended them to take the same route back. The journey was mostly silent, with Eren stalking ahead of Levi and Mikasa, turning the little black box over and over in his hands.

The box's surface was completely smooth, made of polished black wood. There was a tiny hole, so small that Eren would have almost missed it. It was just a millimeter in diameter, a keyhole of sorts.

Eren wracked his brains, trying to remember if his father had ever mentioned a key. But his memories of the incident were fuzzy, and nothing came to mind.

He had shook the box against his ear, and had heard the contents rattling around inside. Whatever it was, it sounded fragile, and he couldn't risk breaking the box open.

_There has to be a key to this thing, or something to open it with. But what?_

* * *

It was late-afternoon when Levi spotted it first, lumbering across the plains below them.

"Get down," Levi hissed, dropping to a crouch.

Eren and Mikasa did the same.

"What happened?" Eren asked. "Why are we hiding, we're safe up here!"

The three of them peered over the edge of the wall, just enough so that they could see the land that stretched out below, without being visible to any Titan that walked there.

That's when they saw it – the enormous, furry beast, larger than a fifteen meter class Titan – sprinting across the wilderness towards the wall.

"That's the Ape Titan," Levi said in a low voice. "From what I was told, it led the assault on Castle Utgard. It knows how to climb walls and is probably intelligent."

"It's running in the direction of Shiganshina," Mikasa observed.

"It can climb walls?!" Eren's eyes widened, "That means-"

"We need to get off of here and _fast_," Levi said. "I don't know how that damn monkey will behave, but if it climbs the wall and comes in this direction – well, let's say I'd rather avoid encountering it at all costs. Switch to maneu-"

Levi glanced at Eren, and scowled, stopping midsentence.

"Sorry," Eren muttered sheepishly.

"Eren, if we land in another mess because of your stupidity, I swear…" Levi trailed off.

* * *

They ran along the wall until they reached the point above the forest where they had left the horses.

"How will we get Eren down?" Mikasa asked.

"Chop off his limbs again, and shove him into your pack," Levi told her. "And keep him there till we get back to Wall Rose."

Eren was pretty sure the Corporal was just making a sick joke, but Mikasa glowered at him all the same.

"Don't even think about something like that," she snarled at Levi.

"Mikasa, shut up! I don't need you defending me," Eren snapped at her, irritated.

She looked a little taken aback, her eyes flashing with hurt, and Eren felt a curl of guilt. But he couldn't help it. He knew he had screwed up, and it frustrated him. And the way Mikasa and Levi were talking about him, as if he wasn't even there, or as if he was a child they needed to take care of, someone who couldn't make decisions on his own - that only made it worse.

He hated how Mikasa always acted as if she was in charge of protecting him, and how Levi had sided with her earlier.

He hated how they both acted as if they were perfect, as if they could do nothing wrong. He hated the fact that they both probably were as close to perfect as one could get in this regard, and had done nothing wrong the entire mission; not one misstep or slipup.

Eren felt like a nuisance, a burden. And he hated it.

"I'll carry him down," Mikasa was telling Levi. "I'm strong enough to handle two."

"No!" Eren's eyes flashed, irritation surging within him again.

He refused to let himself be carried by Mikasa. That would be downright humiliating.

"Eren-"

"I don't need _you_ carrying me! Damnit, what, do you think I'm some kind of a little kid?!"

"How else will we get you down-"

Before Eren could retort to that, Levi grabbed him with amazing strength, and flung him over his back.

"Wha-"

"Shut up, both of you. We're descending," Levi said tightly, walking to the edge of the wall. "Hold on tight, Eren, if you don't want to die."

And then Levi leapt off the wall, with Eren clinging to him for dear life.

Once they had reached the bottom, Levi dumped Eren on the grass unceremoniously. A second later, Mikasa landed next to him perfectly.

The grace of her landing only served to infuriate Eren further. A part of him wished that once, _just _once, she would stumble, or land awkwardly, or make some sort of a tiny mistake.

But she never did. She was always perfect, and flawless, and far, far better than him in every way imaginable, it seemed. And it frustrated Eren immensely.

_This isn't how it's supposed to be. I'm the one – I'm supposed to - _

"Are you alright-" Mikasa began, but Eren cut her off.

"Stop fucking nagging me all the time! I'm fine!"

Mikasa's face fell, and Eren felt another tug of guilt.

He ignored it, and ignored her, turning around and stalking off after Levi, who had gone to look for the horses.

He caught a glimpse of her eyes before he turned away; they were glistening oddly. It only exacerbated his guilt, giving him a cold feeling to the pit of his stomach.

_She doesn't deserve this. _

* * *

Mikasa followed Eren, her eyes stinging with tears, feeling a familiar ache in her heart.

She wasn't a stranger to Eren's stormy eyes, furrowed brows, or his hard voice edged with anger. He had spoken to her that way before, so many times.

Still, after the way he had looked at her in the morning, the way things had been going between them, a part of her had actually begun to hope for more. Mikasa had always longed for more from Eren, and at that time, she actually thought that there was a possibility that things would eventually turn out the way she wanted them to.

_Don't be stupid, Mikasa. That's never happening. _

Eren was angry with her again, annoyed by her attention. She was a pest to him, a nuisance, a nag.

_And that's how it will always be. _

Mikasa hastily wiped her eyes with her scarf.

* * *

Levi mounted his horse, watching Mikasa from the corner of his eye. She was hiding her emotions well enough now, but for a moment, she had let the expressionless mask crack.

She had looked so broken then, and the Corporal wanted to give Eren another kick in the face.

_That brat is always acting without thinking. He's going to come to regret it, one day. _

* * *

Mikasa was completely silent as they rode furiously across the plains.

Levi wasn't attempting to engage either of them in conversation either, and Eren felt rather terrible about it all.

He remembered the pained, hurt look on Mikasa's face, a look he'd seen before. He had caused it, and it made his stomach curdle to think of it.

Her eyes had seemed oddly bright as well.

_Shit. I made her cry. Shit. _

Eren thought about apologizing to her. But with the Corporal there, he didn't want to bring it up again. It would be too awkward.

_It's just Mikasa, anyways. She'll get over it, won't she?_

Despite that, Eren couldn't help feeling extremely uncomfortable.

He was so preoccupied with his thoughts that he barely noticed the seven meter Titan that pounced at him from behind a tree.

There was a blur, and he felt a weight on his side, knocking him off his horse. The horse gave a loud shriek, as the Titan's jaws snapped shut, barely missing it by an inch.

A second later, there was a flash of blades, and the Titan fell to the ground. Mikasa leapt lightly off its back.

She leaned down and yanked the leather saddle out of the Titan's steaming jaws, tossing it to Eren without a word.

Then, she mounted her horse, and galloped off.

Still reeling from shock, Eren stood up, shakily re-saddling his horse before he mounted it.

_Fuck, that was close. What's wrong with me?! I need to pay attention, not get distracted by stupid stuff!_

Levi rode up next to him.

"You're a real jerk to her, Eren, you know that," he said. "Next time, pay more fucking attention. If you don't like being saved by her, maybe you should stop acting like such a helpless wimp that needs saving all the time."

Eren was at a loss of words.

_It's always like that. She's always saving me, always protecting me. Even when I push her away…_

Eren felt his guilt intensify, as his eyes focused on the back of Mikasa's head.

_It's my fault. I'm too fucking weak! Heichou is right! I'm always landing myself in trouble._

"Somebody needs to teach you how to talk to girls," Levi informed Eren, jolting him out of his thoughts.

"Huh? Oh…" Eren bit his lip, gripping the reins of his horse harder.

He suddenly remembered a short blonde girl with icy blue eyes.

_That traitor._

"You're not the only one who's told me that," Eren mumbled.

"Maybe you should listen to advice that's given then," Levi replied.

* * *

As the journey progressed, Eren only felt his uselessness grow. Without a 3DMG, he wasn't capable of fighting any of the Titans.

Levi and Mikasa dealt with them all. Eren figured that even if he did have a 3DMG, the situation wouldn't have been much different.

Levi and Mikasa were perfect, _too _perfect. They moved with the same fluid movements, the same inhumane speed. Mikasa even had Levi's signature spinning move down flawlessly. Watching them was eerie, especially when they teamed up to take down some of the larger Titans.

At first, Eren had wondered why they were teaming up, when either one of them could have defeated one Titan with ease.

"You'll have to swing away faster," he heard Levi tell Mikasa, after they had bought down a fifteen meter class together. "I don't want to chop off your head when I spin in for the kill. Also, go faster on the arms, it's likely to be more agile than these fat fucks."

That's when Eren realized. Levi was training Mikasa on team strategies to take down intelligent Titans.

_They're toying with them. Practicing. And still, they can kill them in a few seconds. _

It was probably to prevent another fiasco with their 3DMGs becoming entangled. Eren also figured that it meant that Levi was more concerned about the previous appearance of the Ape Titan than he was letting on.

_That's the only reason he's having her fight with him this way. The Ape Titan is leagues above normal Titans, so he probably thinks that if he and Mikasa team up on it, the two of them can bring it down. _

Watching their flawless teamwork, as they seamlessly twisted and spun around one another, assisting each other as they cut down Titan after Titan – working as a team seemed to come almost naturally to them, it was like they could reach each other's minds and predict each other's movements – Eren thought that maybe, just maybe, even the Ape Titan wouldn't stand a chance against those two.

_They're crazy. Even alone they're crazy, but together… _

Eren had no idea how Mikasa had reached Levi's level so quickly. Humanity's two strongest soldiers, now a team. They seemed indestructible, at least to Eren.

And a part of it bothered Eren, bothered him deeply. He would never admit it, but he wished he was in Levi's place then. Mikasa seemed to trust Levi instinctively, never questioning him or fretting about his movements, or even looking back to check on him when they fought. She listened to his every command, and they managed to synchronize their attacks impeccably.

Eren wished that he could fight alongside Mikasa like that. He would have even liked to fight alongside Levi like that. But the both of them were always covering him, shielding him, protecting him, pulling him away – especially Mikasa.

Eren trusted her with his life. He trusted Levi with his life. He was pretty sure that even Mikasa, though she would never admit it, trusted Levi with her life.

And yet, he had a strong feeling that neither Mikasa nor Levi trusted Eren with their own lives, or even his own. Mikasa for one, was always above him, ahead of him, and never fighting alongside him the way she was with Levi.

There was a time, when they were young, and Eren and Mikasa had killed three men together. That was when Eren had saved Mikasa's life. Mikasa had trusted him then, and had fought with him. Days after, she had looked up to _him _with adoring eyes. Eren had been her savior.

But now, it was so different, and a part of Eren resented her for it. He resented her, and he resented Levi a little bit too. As he watched them consecutively spin up a Titan's body, chopping it to pieces, he wished more than anything that he could be in their place, slaying Titans as effortlessly as they did.

Only when he transformed did his powers reach a level that rivaled, if not exceeded theirs. But he couldn't transform, not then. All Eren could do was sit there on his horse and watch them cut down all the Titans that he was itching to kill.

* * *

Levi led them on a different route from the one they had taken earlier, despite his earlier intentions to travel back the same way. They took respite in another village, once Levi and Mikasa had purged it of Titans.

Mikasa had still not spoken a word to Eren, though she had shielded him and guarded him continuously from the Titans swarming the village, leaving Levi to deal with most of them himself.

Eren had wanted to transform, transform and tear the Titans apart with his bare hands – and show the two of them that he wasn't useless, that he was as powerful as they were, as capable of protecting them as they were of him.

But Levi had warned him specifically against it, multiple times. And without a 3DMG, Eren knew that he was helpless.

So he had stayed behind Mikasa, feeling exceedingly bitter as he was forced to let her protect him, yet again.

Many times, his breath had caught in his throat, his heart twisting, as a Titan's hand or snapping jaws came too close to her for comfort. But Mikasa had always managed to swerve away at the last moment, and a second later, the Titan would crumble to the ground. And had Eren felt stupid for even worrying about her.

* * *

They crawled into another underground basement to rest. Levi had wanted to drive them on, but the horses had begun to tire, and they had been forced to stop eventually.

They ate their dinner in silence, the tension thick in the air. Eren found that he had lost his appetite, and could only eat half of a ration bar.

He half expected Mikasa to berate him for that, and pester him to eat more.

She didn't say anything though, and it made Eren feel exceedingly uncomfortable.

She didn't meet his eyes, even once. Eventually, she leaned against the wall opposite to Eren, a few feet away from Levi. She wrapped the maroon scarf she always wore around herself like a blanket. She pulled her knees to her chest, and buried her head in her arms.

For a horrible moment, Eren thought that she had started crying. Sometimes, when they had been little, he would find in a position like that, crying over her parents. She had always hidden it from him, not wanting to worry him.

_Right now, could she be…? _

But he could hear no sobs, and her form wasn't shaking. A part of him still wanted to go to her, and just check once.

_She's probably just sleepy._

Eren felt his heart clench.

When they were younger, and he had found her like that, he had pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly, comforting her.

But he didn't do that now.

_It's just Mikasa. Why are you making such a big deal out of this?!_

Eren pulled his legs to his chest, mimicking her position. Soon, he fell asleep.

* * *

Mikasa definitely wasn't asleep.

Levi had been around his fair share of sleeping women, and he could tell that the young soldier besides him was wide awake.

Eren, however, was a different matter. The boy had dozed off quite soundly.

* * *

"Mikasa?"

Mikasa ignored the voice, a tear trailing down her cheek.

"Stop pretending to be asleep. I can tell."

His hand shook her shoulder.

Her head snapped up, and she glared at Levi across the firelight.

"Leave me alone," she hissed, her eyes darting to Eren, who was fast asleep.

* * *

Levi noticed the pained look in her eyes and the tear tracks on her cheeks.

"Why do you care so much?" he asked her.

Mikasa's eyes went wide, and Levi knew that he didn't need to elaborate.

"Mikasa?" he prompted her, when she didn't respond.

"I – I just do," she said, her voice cracking. "I told you before. He's all I have left."

There was a silence then, until Levi spoke.

"Your parents. I heard about the incident."

"They were murdered," Mikasa whispered, "by _monsters _as bad as the Titans."

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you saying sorry?" she asked him.

"It's unfortunate, what happened," Levi said carefully. "That's when Eren saved you?"

"Yes. They would have killed me too, if not for him."

Levi felt his stomach twist.

_Killed you too, if not for Eren, huh?_

"Do you feel indebted to him? Is that why you're so devoted to him?"

"No! It's nothing like that," Mikasa said in a fierce whisper, shaking her head. "He's everything to me. I lo-"

She stopped then, and Levi could see the flush that had bloomed across her cheeks.

"I care about him more than anyone. And I can't stand to see anything happen to him. I won't let it. Even if that means he hates me, as long as he's okay… I can deal with that."

Her voice sounded so heartbroken that even Levi found himself moved.

_Eren's a dumbass. The biggest dumbass ever. _

"You hate me too, don't you?"

She was taken aback by the question. He had posed it merely for the sake of changing the topic, not knowing how to respond to her heartfelt declaration.

Levi smirked at her when she stared at him.

"Even though I've trained you, and I've saved your life before. I can tell at times that you're just itching to tear me a new one."

"Yes. Sometimes I really do want to punch you in the face, sir."

He didn't know what was more ridiculous – the calm way in which she said it, or the fact that she had the audacity to add 'sir' at the end of such a statement.

"Careful. I could report you for insubordination."

"But that doesn't mean I hate you."

Her voice was low, and it sounded like it pained her to say those words. Levi found himself morbidly amused.

"That's good to know. Keep that in mind next time I beat up Eren," he said dryly.

She glared at him, but Levi had never known when to shut up, something which he had even admitted to Eren before.

"You know… you're ridiculously and unhealthily attached to that moron. But I think, maybe, I can understand it a little bit."

Mikasa was silent, though he could tell that she was listening.

"Both my parents died when I was thirteen."

_My father was a drunkard who used to beat and rape my mother. One day, he went too far, and accidentally ended up killing her. The next day, I killed him. _

He didn't say that part aloud. It wasn't something he liked to share, or something he even liked to think of.

"I was a mess after, for a good while. Got into some pretty deep shit eventually. Irvin was the one who helped me out of it. He pretty much saved my ass, actually. He was already a soldier at the time, and he convinced me to enlist too. So I'm here now, swinging around and killing these giant bastards with you brats."

"You're close to Irvin-danchou then?"

"I would give my life for him. Not that he needs it."

"Hm."

They were silent again for a while, and Levi assumed that Mikasa had gone back to sleep. He felt himself drifting off, and was surprised when she scooted over, so that she was sitting closer to him.

"Heichou?" she asked softly.

"What?"

"Have you ever – been in love with somebody before?"

Levi flicked an eye open, glancing at her. Her eyes were downcast, and she was twiddling with the material of her scarf.

"Why the sudden question?" he asked lazily. "Interested?"

She glowered at him, and Levi idly wondered why he derived such a sick pleasure from pissing her off.

"I would never go for a pompous, abusive _midget _like you," she said viciously.

"I'm not such a midget in bed, you know."

She flushed deeply at this, though her scowl only intensified.

"What is wrong with you?!"

"Can't even take a joke, can you?" Levi shook his head, amused.

_Inexperienced kids. They've killed fifteen foot monsters but still can't stand to hear dirty jokes. Though with her, considering her past… it's probably good that she's still innocent._

"You're so young," he said after a moment. "Do you even know what love is?"

To his surprise, Mikasa answered him, readily enough.

"It's when you live your life for another person, and care about them more than yourself. It's when you would sacrifice yourself for them, and do everything in your power to keep them safe, keep them happy. When you put their needs and wishes and dreams above yours. And when you want to be by that person's side, forever. And when you're with them… nothing else in the world matters, and all the problems seem to go away because all that matters is that you're with them and –"

She broke off then, her voice trembling.

_Damn, _Levi thought.

He hadn't expected her to be so emotional.

He wasn't sure what love was himself. But from what Mikasa had said, Levi was pretty certain that she was spot on with the definition.

'You're in love with an idiot,' he wanted to tell her.

But he figured she would lose all self control and finally try to kill him if he did. Instead he said:

"So you actually have a heart underneath that ice bitch mask you put up. Who would have thought?"

"…"

"Don't get emotional on me. I hate crying woman. I even prefer you being homicidal."

His words had their intended effect. She was scowling again, though she seemed to have lightened up a bit.

"Stop being so depressed, it's annoying," Levi added for good measure.

"Stop being so cynical, it's infuriating," Mikasa shot back, mimicking his tone.

Levi felt his lips quirk upward.

"I heard rumors," Mikasa said after a moment. "About you, and – and Petra-san…"

Levi's nails dug into his hands, his heart clenching painfully at the memory of a bright young woman with strawberry-blonde hair that had been in his squad. The only woman talented enough to have been picked by him before Mikasa.

"I'm sorry," Mikasa said quickly. "It was wrong of me to intrude-"

"Be careful," Levi interrupted her in a hard voice. "We're soldiers. We live to kill fucking giants, not to fall in love. We're screwed up enough as it is. With our job, talking and thinking like that will only get you into more shit once one of you is killed."

Mikasa flinched at his words.

_Teammates are teammates. I should have stuck to that. I never should have-_

"I'm not going to die though," Mikasa said in a steely tone. "I'm going to keep fighting. If you fight, you win. He taught me that."

Levi didn't need to ask to know who the 'he' she was referring to was. Mikasa's entire life revolved around one person. One idiot who was currently fast asleep, oblivious to everything.

"Well, I'm glad he's capable of talking sense at least sometimes," Levi remarked.

_Fight to win. I like the sound of that. Should make it the Scouting Legion's motto or something. Not that we need a bloody motto. _

"I won't let him die either," Mikasa said.

Her words echoed in his head. Levi remembered having said something along those lines to someone before, but it seemed like a lifetime ago. He remembered the sparkling golden eyes, the warm smile.

_'No matter how fucked up my orders are, you'll follow them, won't you?'_

_'Yes sir.'_

_'You trust me, don't you?'_

_'With my life, sir.'_

_'I won't let you die.'_

_'I know.'_

_A hand on his arm, gentle, soothing. _

_An old man raving about his daughter, confessing that he wanted her to get married - _

_-no. Never again. _

The conversation was bringing back memories and feelings that Levi thought it best weren't dug up again.

_I will not lose another member of my squad. Never again. _

"Have it your way, then," he said. "Goodnight, Mikasa."

Mikasa scooted back to her original spot.

"Goodnight, heichou."

Mikasa's voice was soft, feminine. Hearing her then sent a sudden chill down his spine. For a moment, she had sounded so much like -

_'Heichou…'_

_'It's Levi. I told you, just call me Levi.'_

_'Levi, I-'_

Levi shook his head clear of the memories, the phantom fingers ghosting across his face.

_Teammates are teammates_, he repeated to himself._ Never again._

* * *

_Author's Notes: How was it? Please leave me a review and let me know what you think!_

_Also, a couple people asked me if it was okay if they put this on tumblr. I'm not sure what they meant by that, but please feel free to paste a link of this wherever you want! I would be more than grateful for the publicity, haha. _

_Regarding Levi - I will not be writing any shippings with him in this story. There was implied Rivetra in this, but it's up to you whether you want to take it as romance, or something more. As for his relationship with Mikasa. I guess I'm intentionally leaving it a bit ambiguous. It's not meant to be romantic, but you're free to think of it as that if you want. I am only writing Eren and Jean as having feelings for her. _

_This chapter ended rather calmly (I noticed my last three chapters have ended with people going off to sleep - I'm sorry! I actually hate ending that way, but I had to cut this chapter halfway through, and well...). Next chapter onwards, well... I don't want to spoil, and I promise you that this story will end happily enough for MikaEren shippers. But you may all start hating me for a few chapters, haha. _

_Finally - if anyone has the link to the third and fourth special episodes / chibi episodes of SnK (I've seen gifs floating around on tumblr but not the episodes links anywhere!) please please let me know! _

_xx_

_HQ_

___PS - **I finally got a tumblr! **No idea how to use it, but follow/friend/whatever me! The link is on my profile page. _


	4. Attack

_Disclaimer: I don't own 進撃の巨人_

_Author's Notes: Here is chapter four. Please don't hate me too much when you finish reading it. That's all I will say about it right now. _

_Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews. 100+ reviews in just three chapters? That is way beyond what I expected and I'm so incredibly happy. Your words mean a lot to me, so please do keep them coming! _

_A special thanks to my betas **deathmakesapoet** and **JamJackEvo **who helped me out with this. You should check out their work, it's pretty awesome if I may say so myself. **Details about deathmakesapoet's new smutfic (inspired by/based off of this story!) in the A/N after the story. **_

* * *

**Losing Control**

**Chapter 4: Attack**

* * *

CRASH!

Eren's eyes flew open and he shot upright. Across from him, he saw Mikasa and Levi jerk awake as well, Mikasa's hands immediately reaching for her blades.

It was late-evening, judging by the few orange rays that filtered through from the cracks above them. The air was rent with the sound of thuds, crashes, Titan roars, and – a much more familiar, yet unexpected sound – the whirring noise of 3DMG wires and the shouts of soldiers.

"Scumbags, can't even let a man sleep," Levi groaned, rubbing his eyes.

"What the heck is going on?!" Eren yelped. "I hear voices – there are soldiers here!"

"The Recon Corps," Mikasa said. "Heichou, was there another expedition scheduled?"

"Not that I knew of," Levi muttered. "And I can't imagine Irvin authorizing one without me."

"So that means – "

"Shit's gone down." Levi sprung to his feet, quickly securing his 3DMG. "Mikasa. Eren. Quick. We're leaving."

* * *

They managed to make their way to the rooftops, only to see that the village had literally turned into a warzone. Recon Corps soldiers were scattered everywhere, fending off Titans.

"Levi-heichou!" a voice shouted. "Thank goodness! It's heichou!"

A soldier zoomed towards them, and at his cry, a few of the others turned around as well, catching sight of the three of them.

"It's Levi-heichou! And Mikasa too!"

"They found us! We've been saved!"

The soldier, a young man with copper hair landed on the roof in front of them, pressing his fist to his chest in a salute.

"Heichou!"

"What is going on?" Levi asked. "What is the Recon Corps doing here?"

"We are chasing the three Intelligent Titans, sir. To retrieve the Female Titan. That is what we have been told regarding the mission mandate."

"Those bastards are here?!" Eren exclaimed. "And Annie escaped?! What the hell?!"

"Eren, shut your trap," Levi snapped at him, turning back to the soldier. "Who is leading this mission?"

"Hanji-san is currently leading the troops, sir! We were told to inform her if we sighted you, Mikasa or Eren."

As if on cue, a woman with dark-red hair leapt in front of them, sheathing her blades, her face steaming with vaporizing Titan blood.

"Levi! Eren! Mikasa!" Hanji cried. "Thank goodness."

She nodded at the other soldier. "You're dismissed. Continue fighting. Spread word among the troops that Levi is back and will take command of them soon, it will boost their morale."

The soldier saluted, and flew off. Hanji turned to the three of them, her usually cheerful countenance lined with worry.

"What are you lot doing here?" Levi asked, crossing his arms.

"The Colossal Titan appeared yesterday, along with the Ape Titan," Hanji said quickly. "They didn't breach the wall this time, but caused a lot of commotion with the Stationary Guard. The Ape Titan nearly managed to climb over the wall. With the two strongest fighters out of commission, it took most of the Recon Corps to fight them."

"You engaged them?" Levi asked sharply.

"All our soldiers fought them, and we suffered few casualties, but it did no good," Hanji shook her head. "There's something weird about that Ape, Levi. It regenerates at a ridiculously fast speed, it's near impossible to cut it down."

The entire Recon Corps couldn't take down two Titans? A chill went down Eren's spine at the thought. Though with the death of Levi's squad, who had been the elite among the elite, and with Levi and Mikasa themselves unavailable, the Recon Corps had already suffered a blow in strength. But yet – all of them, against two Titans. Even if those two were the Colossal Titan and this mysterious Ape Titan, it made Eren feel uneasy.

_Are we still really so weak against those bastards?_

"Where was Irvin, at this time?" Levi asked.

"Just the morning before it happened, he had set off towards Wall Sina. Apparently the higher ups had called for a mandatory meeting, and since you weren't present either, he had no choice but to attend. Something regarding increasing the Scouting Legion's budget."

"So on the morning of a Titan attack, those dogs decide they want to throw money at us?" Levi scoffed. "Seems rather convenient to me."

"Irvin doesn't actually know about this mission yet," Hanji said. "It was a last minute, emergency mission I dispatched. Just about forty soldiers, including myself. The rest of the Recon Corps are helping the Stationary Guard at the Wall, in case there's another attack, though I doubt it. They got what they came for."

"So the Female Titan-"

"That Reiner kid snuck over the wall amidst all the commotion, and transformed once inside. He broke her out of the dungeon we were holding her in. He headed straight to Wall Rose after that, and was going to break down the gate again. We opened it just in time, and let him through."

"Why would you do that?!" Eren demanded.

"He would have broken through anyways, you dolt," Levi told him. "Learn from the past. At least this way, the bastards outside wouldn't have a free pass in. Continue, Hanji."

"He didn't kill anyone, but once they got her, all but the Ape transformed into human form, and escaped. We've been pursuing them since. They've all but disappeared since we got to this village – it's good fortune that we ran into you – the Ape keeps rounding up more and more Titans for us to fight with, as if we haven't gotten enough on our hands already."

"Right." Levi grit his teeth. "I'll assist the troops then. It's better Mikasa comes as well. Eren, however-"

"I'm not leaving!" Eren shouted.

"You don't have a 3DMG, moron."

"I'll transform, and tear them all to pieces with my bare hands!"

"Eren," Hanji said quickly. "He's right. You can't fight without a 3DMG, and it's best you avoid transforming for the time being."

"I can control it now," Eren argued. "I saved their lives in Shiganshina!"

"Is that true?" Hanji spun to Levi. "Did you retrieve it? Was Eren alright?"

"We found what we were looking for," Levi said. "And though Eren transformed, we didn't incur any issues. Other than the fact that the dumbass stepped on his own 3DMG."

"Check if any of the soldiers is carrying extras," Hanji said. "Could I see it? What you found?"

She looked expectantly towards Eren.

"I have it," Mikasa said. "It's safe within my pack, but right now – "

Her words were cut short as a loud, animalistic bellow rent the air.

"The Ape Titan!" Hanji cried. "He's back!"

Indeed, the enormous, hairy beast had reappeared, crashing upwards out of a pile of broken buildings, beating its chest menacingly.

There was chaos among the Recon Corps, as at least a dozen soldiers sped towards the creature, attempting to bring it down. Despite their skill and continued desperate attempts, the beast was unfazed, and managed to flick them away, one by one.

It was as agile as the Female Titan, and the cuts the soldiers had opened along its body were healing at an alarmingly quick pace, making it hard to even hamper its movements.

Still, the soldiers didn't give up. They moved quickly, efficiently – but all of their efforts were in vain. Eren winced, as he saw the Titan's enormous palm snatch a soldier out of the air and slam him against a building.

_That fucking bastard!_ Eren felt his blood boil as he saw the soldier's limp body fall towards the ground. _We can't just stand here and watch! We have to get him!_

Mikasa seemed to be thinking around the same lines.

"We have to bring it down," Mikasa said urgently, turning to Levi. "Heichou, your orders?"

"We're engaging," Levi stated. "Get ready. Hanji-san, guard Eren for me. I'll take over for now."

"I can fight it-" Eren began.

"No." Levi's eyes flashed dangerously. "Don't question my orders. Stay here. Mikasa, we're going."

"Eren," Mikasa began to say something, but Eren interrupted her.

"I don't want to hear it," he growled, feeling exceedingly frustrated. "Just go. Kill the bastard."

Her gaze hardened, and without another word she took off after Levi.

"Eren," Hanji tugged at him. "Come on. We'll head for the top of the tower. It'll be safer there, till this is all over."

* * *

From the tower, Eren had an excellent vantage point. He could see a fair amount of what was happening below.

The Scouting Legion soldiers were effectively dealing with all the Titans, slicing cleanly through their necks. Eren had been plagued by memories of Levi's squad and the other soldiers being toyed with and crushed by the Female Titan, that he had nearly forgotten how easily the soldiers outclassed normal, unintelligent Titans.

He searched frantically through the mess, trying to find any sign of Annie, Bertholdt or Reiner. But they were hidden from his sight.

Hanji seemed to notice his state of vexation, and she placed a placating hand on his arm.

"I know it's frustrating, Eren. But your safety is a lot more important right now. Please, just stay here. The soldiers can deal with the Titans. And Levi and Mikasa are our best chance to put down that Ape."

"I could help them," Eren hissed. "With my Titan powers. Together, the three of us could defeat it for sure."

"Trust us, Eren," Hanji said. "Levi hasn't ever explicitly prohibited you from transforming before-"

"The last time I put trust in my comrades, they all ended up dead!" Eren spat, shaking slightly. "I can't let that happen again, not when I have the power to stop it! Besides, Mikasa's the one fighting it! I have to be there!"

"Things are different this time, Eren," Hanji said, and her voice was sterner than he had ever heard it. "Besides, there's no need. That Ape won't be able to lay a finger on either of them. Look."

* * *

"Mikasa!"

There was a shout, as one of the soldiers who had been fighting the Ape Titan flew towards them.

"Jean," Mikasa greeted as he paced himself besides her and Levi.

"Mikasa - thank god - you're here." Jean was panting for breath. "We need you! That fucking thing – it's impossible to kill!"

"Levi-heichou!" Keiji yelled, hurtling towards them. "Mikasa. You're our only hope. It regenerates too fast!"

"So then we'll just have to cut through it faster," Levi said. "Keiji. Tell all the soldiers to retreat. My orders. No point wasting manpower here. Mikasa and I will handle it."

A cheer went up among the fighting soldiers, as Levi and Mikasa joined the fight.

"Levi-heichou!" someone called, sounding relieved, hopeful.

"It's Mikasa! Mikasa's with him!" another voice yelled.

"Humanity's two strongest! We're saved! They'll beat that bastard!"

The soldiers drew back as the order spread, and the Ape Titan turned to its new attackers, black eyes glinting.

And then Levi and Mikasa began their attack.

They started by flying at it from different directions, making numerous cuts all over its body. The beast roared out loudly, and swiped at them multiple times, but they were too quick.

However, even with their speed, the Titan was steaming furiously, the deepest of its cuts healing at an alarming rate. None of the damage they inflicted upon it lasted for more than a few seconds.

* * *

The Ape Titan screeched loudly, swiping at Mikasa as she stabbed its eye. She managed to loop around its hand, but its fingers closed around the wire of her 3DMG and yanked hard on it.

Eren's heart stopped for a moment as Mikasa was thrown off balance and sent spiralling violently through the air. Levi charged at the Ape Titan, spinning up its arm like a wheel. He reached its hand and chopped off the fingers that were wrapped around Mikasa's cable. The severed fingers dissipated at an alarming speed as Mikasa plummeted downwards. She just managed to hook herself onto a nearby wall using her other cable, and using her downward momentum she managed to swing back up into the air. Eren heaved a sigh of relief.

However, the Ape Titan's fingers had grown back almost instantaneously.

"This is fucking unreal…" Eren muttered. "It's healing at least ten times faster than I do!"

Levi, by some unspoken order, had conveyed to Mikasa to change the strategy. He flung himself away from the Titan, deftly dodging out of the reach of its fingers. A few meters away, Mikasa mirrored his movements. Then as one, they hurtled downwards, each landing on one of its feet. The Ape Titan barely had time to register what had happened as they hacked off its toes. Less than a second later, both of them had begun Levi's signature whirling move, spiraling up the Ape Titan's legs, slashing all around it.

Once its legs were done, they moved up its arms, towards its shoulders and its neck, their movements so fast that Eren could barely make out what was happening. The only way he could detect their paths was from the trail of splattering blood and steam they left in their wake, as they ripped open new wounds along the Ape Titan's hairy form; wounds which closed almost as soon as they were made.

* * *

"Heichou!" Mikasa gasped, wrenching her blade out of the already healing flesh of the Ape Titan's neck. "It's not working!"

She ducked the Titan's incoming fist and with a furious slash, hacked its hand off. Seconds later, the hand grew back, steaming.

_Why is it able to regenerate so fast?! This is impossible!_

The Ape Titan grabbed at her again and Mikasa gave a shout, flinging her blades at its eyes.

The beast bellowed in agony. It wrenched the blades out of its rapidly-healing eyes and sent them whistling through the air the moment it regained its sight. The missiles flew toward them with alarming accuracy, and had to Levi bat them away with his own blades before lunging at the beast.

"Fucking hairy shit!" Levi hissed, attacking it relentlessly, "I'll cut you out, and then tear you to pieces! I doubt your real body can heal like this one!"

He slashed at its neck, taking a good chunk of flesh out of its body.

A cheer went up amongst the soldiers, but the Ape Titan did not collapse to the ground like they had expected it to.

Mikasa had already spun into the opening that Levi had left, her blade ripping through the Titan's as she whirled around furiously.

It was certainly enough to have killed any other Titan, intelligent or not.

And yet, though the Ape Titan was screaming in agony, it did not collapse, even after Levi and Mikasa's intense attack upon its neck. Instead, it just regenerated and continued attacking them with a fury.

Mikasa felt her blood run cold.

_Neck attacks aren't killing it!_

* * *

"What the fuck is happening?!" one of the soldiers shouted from below, "She got its neck! It was a clean cut!"

"The bastard won't die!" another moaned. "We're doomed!"

"What the fuck…" Even Eren was shocked at what he had just seen.

A Titan's neck had always been its weak spot. Its one vulnerability; the one weakness that humanity could exploit to kill them all. Even the intelligent Titans, no matter how powerful, still suffered from that limitation. The entire design of the 3DMG revolved around allowing a human to reach a Titan's neck. And yet, that foolproof method of killing them, which had never failed them so far, wasn't working against the Ape Titan.

"Hanji-san!" Eren turned to the woman next to him. "How can be? They got it! Why won't it die?!"

Hanji stared at the beast rampaging below them, her eyes wide with disbelief. She wiped her glasses, pushing them up to her forehead.

"It must have a weak spot," she said breathlessly. "They all do. They have to. It only makes sense. If not here, then… "

* * *

"So that's how it is, huh? You big hairy fucker!" Levi scowled, looking more annoyed than anything.

He and Mikasa quickly drew back, hanging off the side off a building, out of the Ape Titan's sight, so that they could regroup.

"What is it?" Mikasa asked him, catching her breath. "What do we do? We cut it's neck, why won't that work?!"

"It's intelligent, which means that there's a human skulking around inside." Levi narrowed his eyes. "Since neck attacks aren't working, it probably means the little fucker is hiding somewhere else in its body. Probably shoved up its asshole, by the looks of it."

"So where do we attack?"

"Everywhere else," Levi stated, "We can rule out the arms, legs, head and neck, since we've cut those up enough already. Aim for the stomach, the back. It's fat, there's more than enough room to hide there. Stick your blades up its hairy ass for all I care. We're bringing it down."

And then they swung forward as one, and renewed their attack on the beast.

* * *

"They're aiming differently now," Hanji observed as she and Eren peered over the edge of the tower, watching the fight that was occurring a few feet below. "They must have figured it out."

"Figured what out?"

"The Titan's weak spot is where the human is connected to it. You know that, of course, being a Titan shifter yourself."

Eren nodded, and Hanji continued.

"My guess is that this Titan's human is entrenched deeper within its body. The stomach and back seem likely locations, given its shape," Hanji explained. "The human is probably connected to the Titan there. I also think that this difference in connection is what led to this mutated transformation. Yes, that's probably why it bears resemblance to an animal, though how it can still retain such intelligence is beyond me..."

"How – how do you know all this?" Eren gaped at her.

"It's just my theory. A hypothesis at best." Hanji shrugged. "I have no way to prove anything unless we capture that monster alive."

Eren shuddered at the prospect.

"That would be wonderful, wouldn't it?" Hanji's face lit up. "Imagine, if we got this specimen alive! The amount my research would progress! It's so unique, after all! And intelligent! Though more than the Titan, I would very much like to speak to the person inside of it. But at this point, I don't think capturing it alive is even an option. Levi would probably spank me if I even suggested it."

Eren tuned her rambles out and turned his attention back to the battle.

Levi and Mikasa were still attacking the Ape Titan furiously, but they had changed their attack pattern. Mikasa was cutting through the beast's stomach and chest, while Levi was attacking it from behind.

Eren scanned their surroundings once again. The other soldiers were busy taking on their own Titans. He spotted Keiji and Raye among them, and even the familiar light-brown head of Jean.

But Annie, Bertholdt and Reiner were still nowhere to be found, be it in their Titan or human forms.

Hanji seemed to be thinking along the same lines.

"Other than this marvelous view, one good thing about being perched up here is that we have a good chance of sighting those three if they do decide to make an appearance. The soldiers have been instructed to search, but the buggers are hiding rather well. Do tell me if you see them, Eren."

"Yes, Hanji-san," Eren said, gritting his teeth.

_Annie. Bertholdt. Reiner._

_You're here. I know that you're here, you traitors. So show yourselves, damnit! Show yourselves so that I can rip your eyes out of your traitorous fucking heads!_

* * *

"No luck." Levi grunted, pulling Mikasa away as they fell back a second time. "But I've figured out where the scum is hiding."

"Attached somewhere to it's spine," Mikasa confirmed. "But it's protecting its back too well."

"Yeah. Fucking monkey is smarter than it looks."

"So what do we do? Perhaps with more soldiers?"

"We have to go for it simultaneously. You take out one section of spine, I'll do the other. We need to do this in exact synchronization. It's too dangerous to attempt otherwise. And there's nobody else in the Scouting Legion that can match my timing and speed."

_Not anymore, at least. There were people once who could have attempted it. People I had trained with for years._

"So then…" Mikasa looked at him questioningly.

"Tch." Levi clenched his fists, frustrated.

Never in his life had he come across an enemy like this. One that even he couldn't defeat.

_I will not concede to you, you fucking oversized monkey!_

Still, at that moment, even the Corporal was at a loss of how to proceed.

_Damnit, Petra._

_Auruo. Erd. Gunter. I never thought of myself as the kind to rely on others, but right now, it would be nice having you guys around. The rest of these soldiers just don't cut it._

A strange snorting sound came from the Ape Titan, snapping Levi back to reality.

He glared at the beast, and a shiver suddenly ran down his spine. The monster's eyes were glinting strangely, and it's pointed teeth were gleaming from behind upturned lips.

Levi could have sworn the monster was laughing at him. Taunting him.

_Just you wait, you hairy bastard. I'll wipe that grin off your face._

* * *

"Hanji-san-" Eren said quickly. "Hanji-san, please let me transform! I can help heichou and Mikasa if I do!"

"Eren, you must understand," Hanji said urgently, her voice pleading. "Listen to me, Eren. That's not our main priority. There's a chance that the other three are still hiding here somewhere, and it's likely that the moment you transform, they'll show themselves and try to take you again!"

"Let them come! Those double-crossing shits! I'll fucking end them!"

"All three of them? Three intelligent Titans?! Eren, it's a ridiculous risk. Besides, they already took – " Hanji stopped abruptly, and Eren was too bothered to take heed of her words.

And then he saw it. It wasn't much; just a flash of light from behind one of the windows of a building as the setting sun rays reflected off of a shining surface – a crystal.

"Annie," Eren growled.

Hanji whipped around, looking at him.

"Eren?"

Below, all the Recon Corps soldiers were too busy engaging the Titans to notice the disturbance. Though they had been searching frantically for the three Titan-shifters, it had been difficult once they had been led into the village; which was probably why the Ape Titan had led the chase there in the first place.

Between killing Titans and ensuring that they didn't get killed themselves, searching for three intelligent runaways was near-impossible amongst the jumble of buildings and twisted roads. Annie, Reiner and Bertholdt had gotten away, or managed to hide, escaping the eyes of the soldiers.

Until then.

Though it was just a flash of light, Eren instinctively knew it was her. A boiling rage erupted within him. Somehow, he could feel her presence.

"They're here," Eren said, slowly bringing his hand to his mouth. "Traitors."

"Eren, don't-" Hanji began.

CRASH!

The window that Eren was looking at shattered, sending shards of glass flying everywhere. Less than a second later, two figures bolted out of the window.

_I thought of you as friends once -_

A girl, lean and slight, white-blonde hair falling over her face, nearly obscuring her icy-blue eyes. A hefty boy next to her, muscled and strong, with short-cropped yellow hair and narrowed golden eyes.

_But you're nothing more than egocentric, murderous, traitorous fucking -_

Eren felt his heart clench painfully as he bit into his own skin, blood spurting out.

_Monsters. _

* * *

The flash caught Mikasa's eye, and she jerked her head to the side to see shards of crystal falling out of a broken window.

"That crystal – " she bit out, her eyes darting around frantically. "Where's Eren?!"

The Ape Titan's giant hand grasped at her, but she cut away its fingers, using its hand as a springboard to leap off of.

She caught sight of Annie and Reiner in their human forms, their hands holding hardened steel blades. Across from them, Eren had thrown himself off of a stone tower, probably intending to transform, and was headed straight at them.

"NO!" Mikasa cried, flying towards them.

* * *

"Mikasa, come back!" Levi shouted as Mikasa sped away from him mid-battle, her lips drawn back in a snarl.

The girl ignored his orders, and Levi sighed to himself.

_The brat must've done something again._

But he had no time to worry about Eren or Mikasa now, not when the Ape Titan was still rampaging about.

_I'll have to hold this hairy fucker back till Hanji achieves whatever she wants to with this mission. This place is a shitshow. What's the point of all this?! That Titan slut is more trouble than she's worth!_

_Mikasa's another wild card, disappearing like that on me. She can't be trusted to follow orders. Not when Eren's around._

Petra would have never left his side, he realized with a pang. Nor would Auruo, Erd or Gunter.

Mikasa may have been more skilled than all four of them combined, and though she had started following most of his orders without question, Levi realized that it just wasn't the same. There was no way that he would ever be able to come close to recreating his old team, or refill the emptiness that had been left by their deaths.

_And I was stupid to think that I -_

He remembered smiling golden eyes and bloodstained, steaming cheeks.

_'You're filthy.' Levi pulled out a handkerchief, holding it out._

_'It's just Titan blood, heichou. It'll go away.'_

_'I don't like it on you.'_

_A blush._

Levi gripped his blades, swinging around to meet the leering face of the Ape Titan.

_Now is not the time to be thinking of this._

"Alright then, you fugly bastard," Levi sighed, as the creature lunged at him. "Looks like it's just you and me. Let's have some fun, shall we?"

* * *

_Fuck my life!_

Eren grabbed onto a ledge with his bloody hand, pain searing through his arm.

What the fuck?! It didn't work! Why is this happening again?!

"Eren!"

Hanji leapt down to where he was, and was extending her hand to pull him up, but he ignored it, swinging himself up with his own strength and clambering onto the rooftop.

Annie and Reiner landed a few meters across from them.

"Give Eren to us now," Reiner said, "and we'll leave without another fight."

"That's not happening," Hanji said coldly, drawing her blades. "Give us back A-"

Before she could say another word, Eren yanked two bare hardened steel blades from her blade dispenser. The razor sharp metal cut into his skin, and blood streamed down till his elbows, but he ignored the pain and charged forward.

"YOU FUCKING TRAITOOOOORS!" he screamed, rushing towards them.

It was Annie who slid in front of Reiner, her blades flashing as she parried his furious blows.

"ANNIE!" Eren raged, "YOU FUCKING BITCH! YOU BACKSTABBING WHORE!"

Annie didn't respond, her blue eyes like shards of ice as their swords clashed, the air filling with the sound of ringing metal.

Meanwhile, Hanji had pulled out a fresh set of blades, and took on Reiner. They came together in a flurry of cuts and lunges, a chaotic duel that teetered on the edge of the narrow rooftop.

The sound of metal on metal made Eren feel sick to his stomach.

_This is wrong! The 3DMG blades were made to kill Titans! Not to use against humans!_

He ducked under Annie's sword, rolling away to avoid the roundhouse kick she had aimed at him. Their gazes locked for the briefest of moments.

_But you're not a human, are you, Annie? You're a –_

"YOU MURDERER!" Eren shouted as her blade cut into his cheek. Steam spewed out of the wound as it started to heal. "FUCKING COWARD! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TRYING TO PULL?! YOU MAKE ME SICK!"

Eren couldn't believe her. He had fought against her so many times while training to become a soldier. He had admired her, and respected her. He had considered her a friend. And yet now, as they fought, he felt no drop of admiration for her. He felt nothing but disgust. Pure, unadulterated hatred and disgust.

Annie remained silent through his tirade as they charged at each other again and again, their blades creating a dizzying array of sparks each time they collided with each other. Eren realized that the only reason he was able to hold his ground against her for this long was because of how well he knew her fighting style.

His arms ached from the force of his blows. Though he was stronger, Annie was far more agile. She twisted away from him every time he attacked, countering with measured thrusts and jabs, always spinning and dancing just out of his reach.

Her blade came whirling at him from the left. Eren blocked with both his swords.

"Ahhh!" Eren cried as he felt one of his legs crumble beneath him, searing pain blossoming up his shin.

She had kicked him.

"Bitch – " he bit out as he fell to the floor.

She kicked at him again, her foot smashing hard into the side of his head. Eren felt his eyes water from the impact, and his skull felt like it had been split down the center.

_You traitor!_

Annie's form blurred in and out of focus, his vision filled with stars. Eren's head was throbbing, and his leg was worse. He raised his head to face her.

Annie's eyes were glittering with triumph, and she leapt towards his fallen form, blades raised to strike.

Eren brought his hand to his mouth again. He had to attempt another transformation. It was the only way to defeat her.

Because in terms of hand to hand combat (or sword to sword in this case), Annie came second to nobody.

Except –

"EREN!"

Mikasa's cry was pained as she came spinning out of nowhere. She leapt in front of him, not a moment too soon, and sliced viciously at Annie, drawing blood.

Annie leapt back with an expression of shock on her face. She retreated immediately, jumping off the building and out of sight.

Eren wanted to chase after her, but her kick to his leg had been monstrously strong, and he was having trouble even standing up. He then noticed the jagged whiteness sticking out of his steaming flesh, and nearly passed out at the sight.

The bitch had broken his bone; and though his flesh was regenerating, it wouldn't heal properly in his human form, not until the bone was locked back into place.

"Eren!" Mikasa ran towards him and fell to her knees besides him.

Her eyes were wide with concern, and her hands were trembling as she placed her fingers on the sides of his head, pressing gently.

"Ah." Eren bit his lip as pain shot through his head.

"Are you okay? Why isn't your leg healing?" Mikasa asked, her voice filled with concern.

"Broken bone – needs to be set. Fuck, Mikasa. it hurts."

Her touch was so tender, so gentle, as she helped him sit upright, her hands cradling his head.

"It's okay Eren," Mikasa said gently. "Don't worry. I'm here now."

He felt lightheaded. He vaguely wondered how she could look at him so tenderly, and speak to him so caringly, considering the way he had treated her.

"I'm sorry I couldn't come before," she whispered. "You'll be okay now. I'll take care of you. I'm not leaving your side again, okay, Eren?"

She touched his cheek, her fingers soft and cool against his skin. In spite of everything, Eren felt himself soothed by her touch.

"Mikasa," Eren began. "I'm really-"

He couldn't finish his sentence though, because at that moment, silent as a shadow, Annie re-emerged on the roof. Mikasa was still fretting over him, and noticed a moment too late.

"MIKASA!" Eren yelled as Annie jumped towards them, her blade drawn back.

Eren yanked Mikasa back and rolled over, crushing her beneath him, shielding her with his body.

Annie's blade pierced all the way through his shoulder, and Eren squeezed his eyes shut at the excruciating pain.

Mikasa quickly pulled herself out from under him, and Eren struggled to lift himself back up, his broken leg hampering his movements.

"Don't you fucking touch her, traitors!" a new voice shouted.

* * *

Hanji swung at the Titan-shifter, but he managed to redirect her blow, and her blade only glanced along his arm.

She drew blood, but not enough to make a difference. His wound steamed and healed quickly enough.

The young man was a deadly fighter, she had to give him that much.

"What are you trying to achieve?" she bit out, jumping lightly over a slash that would have lopped off her feet had she been a second too late.

He parried her blows; he was on the defensive now, and she was pushing him back.

"Something I can't achieve with you in the way," he muttered before suddenly pushing on his gas piston and shooting up into the air.

"Wait – " Hanji made to follow him. She was prepared to fight him in the air if she needed to, but an enormous fifteen-meter class Titan pounced at her then. On her left, she heard another roar.

_Damn! He led me into a trap!_

Hanji whirled around to face the Titans, frowning.

"I much preferred fighting with that human," she told them regretfully, swinging her blades as she waited for them to approach. "I guess I have no choice but to kill you now, do I?"

She took off, whirring past the first Titan and making two parallel cuts with her blades.

"I'm sorry!" Hanji wailed. "Truly, I am!"

* * *

Eren pulled the blade out of his shoulder with a huge yank, nearly passing out at the agonizing pain that seared through him. He threw it on the ground a few feet away, the metal landing with a resounding clang.

He felt the deep wound begin to heal itself. The muscle and skin stitched together at a rapid rate, ejecting hot steam as it did so.

Exhaling deeply, he pushed his hair out of his eyes as he struggled to sit up. Reiner had somehow managed to meet up with Annie, and the two of them were standing a few meters away.

Mikasa was sitting on the ground besides him.

Standing in front of them, blocking them from Reiner and Annie, was Jean.

His blades were drawn and Eren had never seen him look so fierce, or so angry before.

"Fucking traitors," Jean repeated, shaking. "I can't believe you, you know. Reiner, you especially. I thought we were friends, you asshole! I even told you how I felt about – "

He broke off then with a frustrated cry and charged at the pair of Titan-shifters. Reiner met him, and the two soldiers, once close friends, attacked each other with a vengeance, their blades singing as they clashed.

"You betrayed us!" Jean yelled. "You betrayed all of us!"

Mikasa stood up immediately and dashed towards Annie, who chose not to take her chances in close combat this time. The Titan-shifter's hand flew to her lips, and there was a blinding flash, accompanied by the sound of a small explosion and a large cloud of smoke.

Eren bit at his hand for all he was worth, but to no avail.

_What the fuck is happening to me?! Why can't I transform?! I want to fight! There's nothing holding me back, I want to crush them, kill them! So why?!_

Suddenly, an enormous hand materialized from out of the smoke, its fingers grasping at him.

"NO!" Mikasa's cry pierced the air as she threw herself in front of Eren again and sliced viciously at Annie's Titan fingers. The smoked cleared to reveal the Female Titan in all her terrifying glory.

Undeterred, Mikasa flipped onto Annie's hand, sprinting forwards along her arm. She twisted away as Annie gnashed at her with her teeth and slashed at the Female Titan's neck, eyes and face, all in one fluid movement.

Annie hardened the skin around her neck, covering it with her hand as an extra defense. But Mikasa wasn't daunted in the slightest.

She attacked Annie relentlessly, barely giving the Female Titan any time to regenerate. Mikasa was aiming at her fingers and her mouth – rendering her incapable of grabbing and biting – and was moving lightning fast, dodging Annie's punches and kicks with inhuman speed.

"I won't let you!" Mikasa cried, "I won't – let you – take him – away from me – again!"

She sounded desperate, her voice more quivering with emotion. Eren felt something stir within him, something almost painful within his heart.

"Mikasa…" he murmured, lifting his throbbing, bloodied hand.

_Why can't I do it?!_

Mikasa fought to defend him furiously, her maroon scarf whipping about as she fought Annie, her face contorted with fury.

"Stay – the hell – away from him!" Mikasa yelled, "I'm sick of – having to – cut you up!"

She'd just managed to open at least twenty cuts on Annie's Titan body when she noticed that Reiner was overpowering Jean. Reluctantly, she altered the path of her swing and hurtled towards the two combatants.

The brown-haired boy was struggling to his feet, but Reiner ignored him, turning towards Eren instead.

There was a flash of blades, and Reiner screamed in agony. Mikasa had chopped one of his arms off and blood was spurting everywhere. She charged at him a second time, practically radiating her murderous intent.

This time it was Annie who grabbed Reiner with her gigantic fingers, pulling him out of Mikasa's reach just in time.

"Damnit!" Mikasa cursed as her blades smashed against the hard skin of Annie's fingers, shattering instantly. She landed on the ground in a crouch, swiftly replacing her broken blades with new ones from the dispensers at her hips.

Eren saw it coming, though Mikasa didn't. Shielded from her view by Annie's fingers, Reiner used his good arm to hurl one of his blades like a spear, straight at Mikasa's heart.

"MIKASA, LOOK OUT!"

Jean's shout rang out with his – the first time they had ever been in sync about anything – as Mikasa desperately tried to twist out of the way.

The blade caught her shoulder.

Bright red blood splattered everywhere.

Blood.

Mikasa's blood.

_He tried to kill – he tried to kill Mikasa…_

Eren felt the rage boiling within him, as Mikasa struggled to her feet.

"Are you okay?!" Jean rushed towards her.

"I'm fine!" she bit out. "It's a shallow cut! I can fight!"

Eren barely registered her words, his gaze fixated on the red that was blossoming along her shoulder, staining her jacket.

_Mikasa's blood. They tried to kill her. Bastards. The sword. It was aimed at her. Reiner and Annie. They tried to kill Mikasa._

Mikasa drew fresh blades and flew at Annie, but Eren barely saw her, the rage within him escalating to a uncontainable point.

His broken leg, his blood-soaked hand, his head, they were all throbbing, but he paid them no heed.

_Murderers. Mikasa. They tried to kill- They tried to kill Mikasa. No. I won't let them. Those fuckers. I promised -_

"Eren, go!" Mikasa shouted, as she engaged Annie again. "They're after you! Get out of here, now!"

_Useless. So useless. Always need her to protect you. Can't even fight._

"Eren, run!" Mikasa pleaded, "Jean, take Eren and run!"

_Run? Why should I run? Why should I run, Mikasa? Why should I run when I can fight?!_

"No," Eren growled, bringing his hand to his mouth, once again. "Not this time, Mikasa."

_Fight. Fight to win. If you win you live. If you don't fight, you can't win._

"EREN!" Mikasa yelled, as if sensing his actions, "DON'T!"

He bit down, tasting blood on his tongue.

_Blood. Mikasa's blood. They spilt Mikasa's blood._

_MIKASA'S BLOOD!_

_FUCKERS! I'LL KILL THEM ALL!_

* * *

Levi cursed when the familiar, blood-curling roar rent the air.

"Damnit, Eren!"

The Ape Titan swiped at him, and Levi scowled.

"You hairy shit." He spat at its face. "I don't have time to play with you anymore!"

Jean watched with a mix of fascination and wide-eyed horror as Eren's Titan form smashed the Female Titan's face with his fist. The very air seemed to ripple from the force of his blow, and it was too fast for even Annie, with her superior close combat skills, to dodge. The punch knocked her backwards, and she flew through the air, crashing into a building several away.

Eren roared and thundered after her.

He jumped on top of her. She kicked out at him from below, but he met her kick with his own, ripping off her entire foot with the sheer brute force of his attack. He straddled her then and yanked her up by her hair, biting viciously at her neck.

Annie was forced to release Reiner, who scuttled out of her hand to hide behind a building. With her now free hand, Annie attempted to pull Eren off of her, but he wouldn't budge an inch. Eren's teeth were clamped tightly around her neck. Even though she had hardened the back area, he was attempting to bite his way in through the front.

Reiner clambered over Annie's shoulder, his sword raised in his good hand.

Eren was too busy with Annie to give notice a mere human.

Jean leapt forwards to help. Mikasa was already a step ahead of him, her face etched with an expression of fury.

Reiner thrust his blade into Eren's neck just as Mikasa attacked him. It was a hasty stab – though the blade pierced deep into Eren's Titan flesh, it wasn't anywhere close to the parallel swipes that were needed to pull out a Titan-shifter.

Eren gave a roar of pain, wrenching the blade out and flinging it to the side. His hands batted Reiner and Jean away as if they were flies. Only Mikasa managed to jump up in time and avoided being flung through the air like a rag doll.

Jean tried righting his balance using the 3DMG as he flew through the air – but Eren's careless throw had been too fast, too powerful – and Jean felt a blinding pain wrack through his body as he crashed into a brick wall.

His eyes watered as he slid to the ground, his entire form aching.

"Fuck you, Eren," he croaked. "I'll get you back – for that – later!"

He struggled to his feet, thankful that there was no Titan in the vicinity; the other soldiers seemed to have taken care of most of them. He needed a couple more minutes of respite before he was in any condition to rejoin the fight.

A few feet away, he could make out Reiner's form, slumped against the wall. He seemed to have passed out. His other arm seemed to have been broken in the fall as well. The one that Mikasa had chopped off still regenerating.

_This is my chance. I can do it!_

Jean steeled himself and began crawling towards him.

Suddenly, the Female Titan opened her mouth and screeched.

* * *

"What the hell?!" Levi winced, jumping away from the Ape Titan and covering his ears. "Fucking bitch! Don't tell me you've started whining again! It won't help. Your big-ass monkey friend already called in every blasted Titan in the vicinity."

Once the racket had died down, he shot his hooks towards the Ape Titan's back, launching a fresh attack.

To his surprise, the Titan made a huge leap forwards, and Levi's hooks missed it by an inch. Levi quickly righted himself and anchored the hooks into a nearby building, cursing angrily as the Ape Titan took another bound ahead, and then another.

_Don't tell me…_

"You're running away, already?" Levi taunted as the beast began sprinting away. "You fucking pussy!"

He quickly made chase, and would have gone at full speed, if not for the woman with dark red-hair that swung into his path.

"Hanji," Levi greeted hastily. "Get out of my way, there's a monkey I'm trying to kill."

"Levi, I think that's their retreat signal," Hanji said.

"What?"

"It's a different cry from the one she used last time, which was similar to the one the Ape Titan was using to round up Titans."

"Since when do you speak Titan, you psychotic woman?"

"Levi, trust me on this," Hanji said. "My instincts are usually right about these things."

"Let them run. My first priority was to get Eren and Mikasa back to the headquarters. The only reason I was fighting that monkey is because there's nobody else who can."

"We can't let them escape," Hanji said urgently. "Levi!"

"All this just to retrieve that giant slut?" Levi asked. "I understand her importance for questioning, but there are at least three intelligent Titan shifters here. Frankly, other than myself and Mikasa, nobody possesses the physical skill to bring them down. Eren has already transformed, and he could probably take on the Armored, or the Female. But that leaves us with the other one: the Ape which we have no way to defeat yet – and the Colossal which hasn't even shown its filthy mug yet. Is it really worth the risk?"

"It's not just to recapture her," Hanji shook her head. "In fact, I gave up on that the moment she broke out of her crystal. Most of the soldiers don't know about this, and I'm probably one of the few who does because I saw it with my own eyes."

"What?" Levi asked impatiently.

Hanji bit her lip.

"I didn't want to say this in front of Eren and Mikasa. But when the Armored broke in to get Annie – he also took – he took – "

* * *

"-you shouldn't have hit him that hard. Poor thing. He'll have a headache when he wakes up," a girl's voice was saying reproachfully.

"Babe, I told you to stop worrying so much about others." Another voice, female, but lower. Sultry.

"I didn't do it! When Reiner gave him to me he was already like this. I was just told to bring him here." A male voice. Anxious, strained.

"Gee, they're taking ages. Guess those Recon Corps flies are giving them a hard time."

"Don't talk about them like that, Ymir!"

Armin tried to rub at his eyes, but found that he couldn't move his hands. They seemed to be bound tightly behind him with cloth.

_That's strange…_

His head was pounding, and he could hear voices speaking, though they sounded rather far-off.

"-was the retreat signal, wasn't it? It sounded different from the other ones."

"I think so. That was Annie's cry."

"You'd know, wouldn't you? Looks like your sweetheart managed to break free after all."

"Wh-what do you mean?! Wh-where are you getting these ideas from! You're hanging out too much with Reiner."

"Ha ha. Please. You think he was the only one who noticed you staring like a lovesick fool?"

"Wha – I never – "

"Cut him a break. It's okay, Bertholdt. Don't mind her."

_Reiner? Bertholdt?! Here?! Come to think of it… those voices sound familiar…_

Armin forced his eyes open, but he was only met with darkness. Something had been tied over his eyes, robbing him of his vision.

_What's happening to me?! Where am I?!_

He struggled to remember – his memory was still hazy, and his head throbbed painfully – but he remembered flashes of it.

_The Colossal Titan and another Titan resembling a giant ape. The Ape Titan was climbing the wall. Chaos, firing canons, soldiers on their 3DMGs._

_A cloaked figure, creeping up the wall amidst the chaos._

_Only Armin had spotted it. Only Armin had pieced together that everything else was just a diversion._

_An explosion. Smoke. An enormous, muscled Titan covered in armor._

_Smashing walls, falling bricks, smoke, chaos, debris._

_The crystal containing Annie Leonhardt, sparkling in the sunlight as the Armored Titan lifted it onto its back._

_And then an enormous, armored hand, coming straight at him –_

_-and then darkness._

"No!" Armin gasped, sitting up, his head spinning.

He couldn't see anything, but he was pretty sure he had figured out what had happened.

"Armin!"

It was the gentle female voice from before – Armin knew that voice. A hand was on his shoulder, steadying him.

"Christa – " Armin choked out. "Ymir. Bertholdt. Who else is here?"

"Just the three of us right now," Ymir said. "Annie and Reiner will join soon. If we're lucky, they'll have Eren with them."

"I doubt that," Bertholdt said. "Mikasa won't let that happen again."

"Wha – what's going on?" Armin croaked. "Why have you kidnapped me? I can't see anything."

"Sorry about that. We'll take the blindfold off as soon as we can," Bertholdt said apologetically. "We had to do it Armin, trust me."

"It's impossible to keep Eren for long with his girlfriend protecting him," Ymir sneered. "And though we'd ideally use her as bait for him, the bitch is stronger than us all."

"You shouldn't talk about Mikasa like that," Christa chided.

"She was ready to kill me, Christa," Ymir said sourly. "I'll talk about her as I please."

"Basically, it's very hard to get our hands on Eren and Mikasa right now. We heard that they're being protected by Lance Corporal Levi as well. So our next option was you."

There was so much regret laced in Bertholdt's voice as he said it. He sounded genuinely apologetic. And for once in his life, Armin couldn't make sense of any of it.

"I still don't see why Eren and Mikasa would come running after this one," Ymir grumbled.

"They're childhood friends!" Christa exclaimed. "Of course they would. Stop being so mean, Ymir!"

"Aren't you cute when you get all defensive? Come here," Ymir crooned.

"Ymir!" Christa exclaimed. "What are you – ah!"

Armin heard the sounds of a scuffle, followed by Bertholdt sighing.

"Look Armin," Bertholdt said, "you were always the smart one. Eren never even bothered giving us a chance to explain."

"Why would he?!" Armin yelled, struggling fruitlessly against his bonds. "And why should I? You all murdered our families, destroyed thousands of lives, our village – "

"Please!" Bertholdt cried. "Hear us out, okay? Once the others are back – we'll tell you everything. We'll show you…"

* * *

Mikasa soared into the air as the giant form of the Ape Titan lumbered into view.

It lunged straight at Eren, who was still biting viciously at Annie.

"Eren!" Mikasa shrieked as she angled herself mid-air and shot towards the Ape Titan.

Eren seemed to sense the beast, and rolled off of the Female Titan immediately, standing up just in time to meet the Ape Titan. His punch sent the beast flying.

Mikasa was awed by his strength – even before, while fighting Reiner, Eren had never displayed so much raw power.

"Mikasa!" Levi yelled when he arrived on the scene.

"Heichou! I'm sorry about before, I –"

"If you disobey my orders one more time, I will have you scrubbing the castle toilets for the next ten years," Levi threatened, earning an angry glare from the girl. He ignored it, as usual. He had long grown immune to the death glares Mikasa liked to throw at him. "We're retreating. How's Eren?"

"He's fine, sir. Stronger than before."

"I see."

The female Titan got back to her feet and grabbed Reiner's unconscious form. Instead of attacking Eren, she turned around and started running.

The Ape Titan struggled to its feet and followed her lead, catching up to her with long, loping strides. Eren gave a deafening roar and pounded after them.

"They're getting away!" Hanji sounded distressed as she landed on the roof where Levi and Mikasa were now standing.

"We have no choice. You said it yourself," Levi muttered. "They won't kill him."

"We can't take that chance! He knows about – " Hanji broke off, and seemed to notice Mikasa for the first time. "Are you alright? Is Eren doing okay?"

"He seems to be alright but we should still go after him," Mikasa said anxiously.

"You're right," Levi said. "We need to get Eren before he pursues them further onto the plains. We'll be at a disadvantage there. Quick. Hanji, you round up the rest of the troops and retreat. Mikasa and I will get Eren out and join you."

Hanji seemed upset, but she nodded, flying off the rooftop.

Mikasa and Levi shot off after Eren.

* * *

"We need to stop him before they get past the boundary of his village," Levi told Mikasa as they sped through the air.

The rest of the troops pulled back on Hanji's orders. They could see the forms of the Ape Titan and the Female Titan in the distance, about a hundred meters ahead of Eren's.

A stray Titan attacked Eren as he chased them. He disposed of the creature easily enough, but the few seconds it had taken served to increase the distance between him and the other two Titan shifters.

To Levi, who wanted the other two as far away as possible, this was an advantage.

"Faster," Levi urged before picking up the pace, Mikasa following suit.

They were just a few meters behind Eren now as he raced along the narrow streets of the village, carving a path of destruction in his wake.

"Oi, Eren!" Levi called. "We're retreating! Get your ass back here!"

Eren paid him no heed, simply continuing his pursuit of the shifters.

"Eren!" Mikasa tried. "Come on! We're falling back! Listen to me!"

It was no use.

"He probably can't hear us amidst all the roaring," Mikasa said. "Let me go to him."

"So he's deaf and stupid," Levi remarked. "Fine then. Go get him."

Mikasa nodded, putting on an extra burst of speed. She landed lightly on Eren's shoulder, pulling his long hair back.

Eren snorted, inclining his head slightly. He had finally taken notice of her.

Mikasa reached a hand out to touch his cheek.

"Eren-"

Levi didn't even see it coming. Mikasa was reaching towards him when Eren suddenly jerked his head in her direction, gnashing viciously at her with his teeth.

"Mikasa!" Levi shot forwards, catching her as she fell backwards through the air.

She seemed too shocked to maneuver herself at that moment, and Levi swerved sharply away as Eren's fist came sailing towards them. He sped along the rooftops, Eren pounding along behind them, roaring.

"Heichou…" Mikasa asked weakly.

"Wait," he said tightly, swinging them behind a large building.

They stood pressed against the wall on the rooftop. Levi covered Mikasa's mouth with his hand, preventing her from calling out as Eren rushed past them. The Titan shifter growled as two smaller Titans sprung at him from below like frogs.

Levi pulled his hand down then, turning to Mikasa and gripping her shoulders.

"Mikasa –" he began, and then froze, his entire body going cold.

Mikasa's face was drained of all color, and she was staring at her hand in shock, trembling violently, her eyes wide.

"Fuck," Levi swore.

A good chunk of Mikasa's hand had been bitten off: three of her fingers, and a part of her palm as well. All that was left was a mangled mess of flesh, soaked in crimson blood that flowed down her arm in rivulets, dripping to the ground.

It was even staining his white shirt, but for once, Levi didn't care about that.

He couldn't help but stare at what was left of her hand – a bleeding stump, an index finger and a thumb –

_She was humanity's second strongest soldier. She was the only person who could match me –_

"E-Eren – " Mikasa's voice was broken when she said his name, and tears leaked out of her eyes.

"Mikasa…"

Levi didn't know what to say then, but he ripped off his cravat and took what was left of her hand in own, binding it tightly with the cloth.

"That – that should stem the blood flow, at least," he said.

"Heichou," Mikasa whispered, her tortured eyes finally meeting his, "Eren – I only ever tried to protect him – "

She sounded so heartbroken, and Levi bit his lip.

There was no way she would be able to operate a 3DMG with one hand – it would ruin her balance, and it was far too dangerous.

"Mikasa. We need to get out of here. Now," Levi told her.

"But – but – Eren – "

_Don't tell me she still wants to go to him?!_

"Mikasa," Levi took a deep breath. "Before the mission, Hanji-san – she warned me this might happen."

"What – what do you mean?"

"I don't know the exact details myself," Levi said, "but there's no way we can deal with Eren in his current state. That's why I kept telling him not to transform. It's happened before, with Titan shifters. Every transformation takes a toll on the body; on the mind. It takes great willpower to control the Titan. And after a certain number of transformations, the human body's ability, and the human mind's ability to control the Titan… erodes…"

"What are you saying?"

Mikasa reeled forwards, faint from the blood loss, and Levi caught her in his arms. Her hair tickled his jaw, and he fixed his eyes on a spot on the wall across from them, continuing the explanation in a monotonous voice.

"Eventually the Titan takes over, completely. The human becomes so deeply entrenched within the flesh of the Titan. Beyond a certain point, the physical human body gets entirely absorbed into the Titan one. It can't transform back, because there's no body to transform back into." Levi took a deep breath, unable to meet Mikasa's eyes as he narrated what Hanji had told him.

"That's the point where you can't distinguish Titan shifters from what we call normal Titans – in fact – " Levi felt bile rise to the back of his throat, and he loathed to say the next words to her. "Hanji thinks that all Titans were once Titan shifters. Humans who were too weak to control their Titan forms. Over the years, they degenerated into what they are today. Human-eating monsters."

Mikasa pushed herself away from him with her good hand, her eyes wide.

"You're saying – you're saying – Eren's going to become like – like them?"

"I'm not saying that," Levi said quickly. "It may not necessarily happen. Eventually, he may regain control. But you can't abandon the possibility that right now, he's just as dangerous."

"Eventually," Mikasa said softly. "It's Eren. He wants to kill them. I know him. He won't give into it. He's strong. He'll fight. He'll fight to win."

Her voice was weak, and Levi had to strain to hear her words.

"Mikasa, we have no time. You've lost too much blood. We need to get you back."

"But – what about – Eren?" Mikasa asked, "You can't – mean to leave him – here by himself… the others are still – out there – they may kidnap him… "

"Mikasa, you're growing weak," Levi said, "You can't use 3DMG in this state. I'll carry you back."

"N-no!" she resisted. "Eren-"

"I'll come back for him," Levi locked his eyes with hers. "I promise, Mikasa. Once I get you back to Hanji and the other troops, I'll leave the very next minute. I'll find him, cut him out, and bring him back."

"It'll take too long," Mikasa shook her head. "By then – who knows –"

"Stop worrying about him for once in your fucking life and worry about yourself!" Levi snapped, losing his patience. "Look at the state you're in, Mikasa! Don't you care about your own life?!"

"Eren – Eren is my life…"

"Fine," he told her roughly. "You may not. But I do, and as your commanding officer –"

He didn't finish his sentence though, as a ten meter class Titan suddenly shot out towards them, leaping onto the roof.

Levi let go of Mikasa and sprang into the air, blades whirling. The Titan collapsed to the ground in a heap, but a moment later, another one came jogging towards him, its arms waving wildly.

"Fucking deviants," Levi cursed, finishing it off.

He heard a bloodcurdling roar behind him and spun around.

Eren had found them, and was bearing down upon Mikasa, green eyes gleaming wildly.

Levi raced towards them.

Eren slammed his fist towards Mikasa, but she managed to jump to the side. She swung into the air then, making a shaky arc. She was entirely off balance, able to fire only one of her pistons and grappling hooks. She stumbled onto Eren's head, clumsily.

"MIKASA!" Levi raced towards her.

"Eren!" Mikasa leaned down and pounded on his head with her good fist. "Eren, it's me, Mikasa. Eren, _please_ –"

"MIKASA!" Levi shouted. "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM THIS INSTANT! THAT'S AN ORDER!"

"Eren, I'm your family," Mikasa pleaded him. "Why are you doing this to me?"

Eren swung at her again, and this time Mikasa was unable to dodge his fist.

Levi's heart nearly stopped as she smashed onto the roof, tumbling down.

She would have landed in the mouth of a waiting Titan then, if Levi hadn't swerved in her direction and pulled her out of harm's way at the last minute.

"For fuck's sake Mikasa! Listen to my orders!"

Mikasa didn't respond, but there were tears running down her face.

"We're going," Levi began, but it seemed that Eren had other plans for them, as he charged at them again.

Levi grabbed Mikasa and leapt up, dodging both of Eren's fists.

_Why the fuck is he so insistent on chasing us?!_

Another Titan chose that moment to jump at them, and Levi had no choice but to shift his weight immediately to alter his flight path, narrowly avoiding its deadly jaws. To his dismay, Eren chose this moment to send a fist flying towards them. With Mikasa weighing him down, there was no way for him to dodge in time.

Levi twisted enough so that the blow wasn't lethal, but Eren was too fast, and his punch caught Levi's leg just as he swung away.

"Fuck!" Levi hissed in pain, the blood draining from his face, as he felt the bone crack.

He and Mikasa crashed heavily onto a nearby roof.

"Heichou!" Mikasa gasped.

"It's the same leg," he grunted. "It's my fault. I never even gave it a chance to heal properly."

Levi tried to stand up, but couldn't, as excruciating pain shot up his leg. It gave way under him.

Fortunately, Eren seemed to have gotten bored of them, and was busy squashing a squealing five meter class under his foot.

Suddenly, another Titan leaped out behind Eren and latched its teeth at his neck.

Eren roared loudly, trying to shake it free.

"Eren!" Mikasa cried.

"Mikasa, don't you dare – " Levi began, reaching out.

His fingers caught her scarf, and it fluttered onto his broken leg as she leapt away. She began swinging clumsily towards Eren.

"MIKASA! GET BACK HERE! AS YOUR COMMANDING OFFICER, I ORDER YOU TO GET THE FUCK BACK HERE!" Levi's voice was hoarse from yelling, and he struggled to stand up.

"Fucking leg!" he cursed.

He shot his 3DMG hooks at the opposite wall then. Pulling at the cord with his hands, he managed to right himself, putting all of his weight onto his good leg. He had used a 3DMG with an injured leg before – but not a fully broken one.

_Am I supposed to hop on one foot?_

Levi figured he would be able to do it if he relied mainly on his arm strength and made sure he landed only on his good foot.

Still, he was too slow, and Eren, who had managed to rip off the Titan at his neck, was already headed in the other direction. Mikasa tried her best to keep up with him, her swings far from steady due to her injury.

Levi managed to pull himself off the rooftop and into the air, but it was no use.

They were too far away, and he couldn't move fast enough.

* * *

"Eren! Come back here, please!" Mikasa begged, struggling as she made her way behind him.

What was left of her right hand throbbed agonizingly, but she ignored it. Besides, it didn't compare to the terrible pain that she felt in her heart.

She stumbled over a rooftop, nearly falling to the ground as she did so, but she managed to stay in the air.

"EREN!" Mikasa yelled again, her voice filled with desperation.

He finally turned and looked at her.

His green eyes were flashing, and his dark hair was disheveled. His teeth were bared in a sickening grin, and he stared her down for a few moments, motionless.

Mikasa felt her heart leap to her throat.

"Please Eren," she cried. "Please, come back to me?"

And then he snarled, swatting her aside with his enormous hand. It came too fast, and Mikasa couldn't dodge it in time.

She felt the hard shingles of the roof scrape against her back. Her head was pounding; she had hit it hard.

She struggled to get up, but it was too much. Too much. Her entire was battered and bruised.

"No," Mikasa moaned. "I promised him – I promised I wouldn't give up."

Eren's face loomed above her, his mouth open to show terrifying rows of teeth.

For the first time in her life, Mikasa was afraid of him.

"Fight," she whispered. "Eren, fight it! Fight! If you win, you live… if you don't fight, you can't win… I know you have it in you, Eren. So please – for my sake – _fight_!"

Tears streamed down her face and his eyes widened. For a moment, Mikasa thought, hope swelling within her, that she had gotten through to him.

But then his fist grew larger in her field of vision, and Mikasa squeezed her eyes shut. She reminded herself of a young boy then, a young boy who had eyes the same color of the monster who was about to kill her.

_Childish hands with their chubby fingers, wiping hastily away at her tears. His warmth, as he pulled her to him, hugging her tightly._

_When he pulled away, his turquoise eyes were shining brilliantly._

_'Don't cry, Mikasa.' A small voice, warm, eager. 'I'm here for you now. I'll protect you, okay?'_

The punch never came. Mikasa felt herself being swept aside suddenly, and then she was flying through the air again.

She could feel strong arms around her, and a steady heartbeat at her chest.

"E-Eren?"

It couldn't be though. This man smelled different, sweat mixed with a faint trace of perfume; a pleasant but unfamiliar smell. And she could still hear Eren, roaring in the distance, though his roars seemed to be getting fainter and more distant.

"Levi-heichou?"

Mikasa cracked her eyes open.

Worried hazel eyes locked with hers, and she felt his grip around her tighten.

His voice was thick with emotion.

"No, it's – "

She recognized him.

"Jean…"

* * *

_A/N: Please don't hate me! Pretty please. I promise, it gets better! Review though, and let me know your thoughts, even if you want to just rant or curse or abuse me, haha._

_I actually wrote Jean saving Mikasa and Mikasa losing her hand before chapter 49 released. **(SPOILER ALERT)** And then Jean actually DID save Mikasa and I was like hey, that's cool. And rather than Mikasa losing a limb (that better not actually happen) it was Irvin. Though I have mad respect for the man. _

_PS - I totally called THAT Titan facing Mikasa and Eren in my last chapter! ****__(END SPOILER ALERT)_

**_deathmakesapoet _**_was a little disturbed by the JeanMika moments at the end, poor thing, but he still bravely beta-ed it regardless. However, I feel it necessary to reiterate his pure detestation of that ship. I don't ship it, I just like Jean pining after and risking his life for Mikasa. Hehe. I'm cruel and sadistic, maybe._

_I might might might write a LeviMika spinoff of this at some point so those of you who are into that kind of thing keep an eye out. This story won't have LeviMika. Though it has traces of - you know - *sobs* - episode 22 who told them it was okay to include all that?! My heart, my feels... _

_Since you all might be hating on me right now for how I ended this, I have something that will hopefully raise your spirits. **deathmakesapoet** **wrote a fic which I will be posting as a new chapter in Shingeki no Smut. It's a spinoff fic of sorts, a really awesome steamy smut based off of the events of chapter 2 of this fic.** Check it out, you won't regret it! He's an awesome author and I take great pride in having corrupted him enough into writing smut._

_Oh, and (more shameless self-promotion oops) if you wanted to read something MikaEren based off of chapter 49/episode 22, check out my oneshot fic titled **Fifty **and the third chapter of my **Shingeki no Fluff **collection respectively. _

_I also have a tumblr now, yay. Link on my profile, follow me if you're interested! I may occasionally post drabbles or mini fics or things not allowed on ffn. Along with a bunch of other rubbish._


	5. Blame

_Disclaimer: I don't own 進撃の巨人_

_Author's Note: I'm sorry for the dreadfully late update, especially after that last chapter ended rather cruelly. I have just been caught up with a lot of personal things. _

_For those of you who are bothered by Eren's characterization coming off as too weak - well, look what the anime does to him. Episode 24 made him really useless for the first part. In that way I think my characterization does echo the anime, even though some may argue that the anime is not as legit as the manga. Nonetheless, I understand your concerns. Don't worry too much, a lot of the things that happened last chapter will be explained in this one. And Eren will get development, I promise. He'll get his share of action too. Just please be patient, this is a chaptered story after all. _

_As for Mikasa's hand - yes, I know that was cruel of me. Terrible. She's my favorite character so it hurt writing that. I actually wrote that happening before Isayama took away Irvin's arm. These kinds of things happen to main characters. I have something planned for her as well, so don't give up hope. It'll seem dark for a few chapters, but things will resolve in one way or another at the end. I won't spoil by saying more. Just trust me, please, alright?_

_This chapter actually hasn't been beta-d (my fault entirely, I have been horrible with sending/uploading things on time in regards to this chapter. So please excuse me if you do find any grammatical errors! I'll probably edit this a little later when I have more time on hand, to fix minor punctuation mistake, etc. _

_MikaEre fic recommendations: anything by_ _**deathmakesapoet.** I also really enjoy **alittletasteofheaven's **__work, so if you haven't read it, you should! I find it similar to mine in some of the main themes/overall treatment of the ErenMika relationship, and she's really versatile in that she gets the angst, the fluff, and everything down so well. **songs **also writes some really beautiful MikaEre and has a unique, eloquent style. Check them out if you haven't!_

_You all have been incredible with your support and reviews! I know the last chapter was tough to stomach, but I'm glad that most of you decided to stick on. Thank you, and enjoy this chapter! Love you all!_

_Also, this chapter is very slow-paced in terms of action. There is actually none, I'm focusing more on developing certain characters and relationships. No Titan fighting. Just putting it out there._

* * *

**Losing Control**

**Chapter 5: Blame **

* * *

_Eren wasn't sure what happened. There was a sharp prick at the base of his neck. Reiner was there, and Jean too. Reiner was the one who had stabbed him. Eren brushed them away, like flies. And then gradually a darkness overcame him, black splotches obfuscating his vision._

_'No!' Eren yelled from inside the fleshy prison. 'No! I'll fight!'_

_- fight to win, win to live - _

_'Eren!' _

_His eyes fluttered open. _

_Color. _

_The sky was painted orange and pink, the sun setting over the edge of the Wall. He was in a meadow, and he could feel the blades of grass against his palm._

_Mikasa was surveying him reproachfully out of dark eyes. Her black hair was loose, tumbling down her shoulders till her chest._

_Eren reached out, twirling a lock between his fingers._

_'I think it looks pretty like this,' he said._

_Mikasa blushed. _

_'If you think spouting nonsense like that is going to make me do your work for you, you're wrong,' she informed him. 'You always fall asleep when it's time to collect wood.'_

_'Sorry, sorry.' Eren gave her a huge grin. 'But you've already done it, right?'_

_'Let's go home,' Mikasa sniffed._

_'Wait a bit.' Eren reached out, tugging on her sleeve. 'There's still some time before it gets dark.'_

_He pulled her down besides him on the grass, and they sat together under the shade of the tree, their shoulders brushing. The sun was setting._

_Eren turned his head slightly to look at Mikasa. She was staring ahead silently, her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. There was a cool breeze, and she shivered slightly._

_'Are you cold?' he asked her._

_'No,' she said. _

_'Idiot.' Eren rolled his eyes, reaching for the scarf. 'What do you think I gave this to you for?'_

_He reached over and undid the scarf this time pulling it around the both of them so that they were wrapped up snugly inside of it. Eren put an arm around Mikasa's shoulder, pulling her closer to him._

_Her hair tickled his cheek, and he could smell the sweet fragrance that wafted from it._

_'Better?' he asked._

_'Mm.' Mikasa snuggled into him, and Eren felt his heart leap._

_He thought that maybe he would be happy if they could stay like that forever, so peaceful. Mikasa rested her head against his shoulder. She was warm in his arms, the cotton of her pink sweater soft against his fingers._

_'Tomorrow we'll go with Armin to the river he's been talking about,' Eren decided._

_'Alright,' Mikasa agreed. 'Not inside though.'_

_'Why not? The weather's nice.'_

_'You can't swim,' Mikasa pointed out._

_'I'll learn quickly.'_

_'No you won't. You'll drown and I'll have to rescue you.'_

_'Shut up, Mikasa! Besides, I better learn to swim soon. It'll be useful for once I get to the ocean.'_

_'The ocean?'_

_'The big water that never ends. Armin showed us in his books, remember?'_

_'Mm… but that's – '_

_'Beyond the walls? So what if it is. Once I join the Scouting Legion, I'll be able to go there and see it.'_

_'Hm.'_

_'I'm serious, Mikasa! I'll see it, and once it's safer and the Titans are gone, I'll take you. We'll both go together. Armin too.'_

_Mikasa smiled from besides him. _

_'I'd like that,' she said softly._

_'Right?' Eren turned to grin at her, his nose bumping against her cheek. 'Ah, sorry!'_

_'It's okay Eren,' Mikasa's voice said. 'But you need to come with me now.'_

_Eren looked up, confused. A girl was standing under the tree, extending a hand down towards him. She looked like an older version of Mikasa; she even wore the same red scarf. Her hair was a little shorter though._

_'Who are you?' Eren asked, awed. _

_'I am Mikasa, Eren,' the girl said, smiling at him. 'Come on, now. You need to get out of this place, quickly.'_

_'You can't be Mikasa, she's right here,' Eren said, squeezing the little girl next to him. 'I'm not leaving her to come with you.'_

_'Eren, please, trust me.' The older girl's eyes were watering slightly. Eren couldn't for the life of him figure out why._

_Next to him, Mikasa tugged on his arm, cuddling closer to him. 'Don't leave me,' she murmured softly._

_'Of course I won't,' Eren promised, hugging her to him. He glared up at the older girl. 'Go away! You may look like Mikasa, but you're not! Leave us alone!'_

_'Eren, I'm your family!' she cried, her expression heartbreaking. 'Why are you doing this to me?!'_

_'I have my family right here,' Eren told her. _

_Suddenly, she dissolved away. Eren stared at the spot she had been standing it, confused. 'What the heck was that all about?' he asked the girl next to him. 'She looked a lot like you. Do you have an older sister or something?'_

_'No,' Mikasa shook her head. 'I don't know.'_

_'Mm, whatever,' Eren shrugged. _

_He flopped back down onto the grass, pulling Mikasa with him so they lay side by side._

_'What are you doing?' she asked him._

_'We can see the stars now,' Eren said, gazing at them through the tree branches. They were twinkling brightly. 'Here, see.' Eren took Mikasa's small hand. Her skin was soft, and her fingers were tiny but they fit perfectly into his own. _

_He raised their joined hands up, pointing to a cluster of stars._

_'That one's supposed to be a dog,' Eren told her. 'At least that's what Armin said.'_

_'It looks nothing like a dog,' Mikasa remarked._

_'Well, I don't know! And that one there is supposed to be an archer.' He guided there hands to another group of stars._

_'Is it shooting the dog?' Mikasa asked._

_'How am I supposed to know?!'_

_'I still don't see it.'_

_'You're supposed to connect them. It's all drawn in Armin's books. It'll make more sense that way.'_

_A dark shadow loomed over his vision, covering his view of the night sky._

_'What are you doing back here?' Eren grumbled. It was the girl from before._

_'Please, Eren,' she cried. 'Please, come back to me?'_

_'I don't know what you're talking about.' Eren sighed. 'Please get out of the way, we can't see the stars.'_

_'No,' the girl moaned. 'I promised him – I promised I wouldn't give up.'_

_'What are you talking about?' Eren sat up, a little worried. She seemed really upset. 'Hey!'_

_'Fight!' the girl whispered. 'Eren, fight it! Fight! If you win, you live… if you don't fight, you can't win… I know you have it in you, Eren. So please – for my sake – fight!'_

_'I said that to Mikasa, didn't I?' Eren cocked his head, confused. 'How do you know those words?'_

_And then suddenly, the girl disappeared a second time._

_'Wait!' Eren called after her, but she was gone. 'That's weird… I hope she's okay.'_

_'We should get home soon,' Mikasa was saying as she started to get up._

_'Nope!' Eren yanked her back down. This time she half-fell on top of him. He looped an arm around her so that she wouldn't be able to break away. Her head rested on his chest. 'Just a little while longer…' _

_'Okay. If you want,' Mikasa said sweetly._

_Eren ran a hand through her hair – it was soft, so soft. She pressed a cheek against his chest._

_'I can hear your heart beating,' she told him._

_Eren turned his vision back up to the sky. 'You know, if you connect all of those stars up there, it looks like the hunter is using a 3DMG.'_

_'3DMG?'_

_'Yes,' Eren decided. 'He's part of the Scouting Legion and he hunts Titans. That's why he's called a hunter, and that's why he needs a 3DMG. To kill Titans.'_

_'You don't even know what a 3DMG is.'_

_'Yeah I do! It's a long wire thing you swing on and use to kill Titans.'_

_'That doesn't make any sense.' _

_'Oh, shut up, Miss-I-Know-Everything.' Eren ruffled her head. 'You're starting to act like Armin.'_

_Mikasa giggled. 'Sorry.'_

_'No, it's fine… oh, and the dog's not a dog either. They probably made a mistake.'_

_'What is it then?'_

_'A horse. The hunter's horse, waiting for him. Once he kills all the Titans he'll ride it back to the wall. I bet the walls are up there too, somewhere…' _

_Eren stroked her head, soon forgetting about the girl from before. He was comfortable and happy where he was. He didn't ever want to leave –_

* * *

_Fucking leg!_

Levi shot himself forwards with all his might, but having a broken leg severely impeded his control of the 3DMG. He almost crashed into a tower, and had to swerve sharply to avoid it, which resulted in him losing his balance and tumbling onto a rooftop.

"Fuck," Levi bit out, struggling to his feet.

Mikasa was on the next roof and Eren was closing in on her, one enormous arm reached out.

And then suddenly, another soldier appeared, stabbing Eren's eyes with his blade. As Eren roared out in agony, the soldier neatly flipped onto the roof.

Levi gave a sigh of relief – there was no way he would have made it to Mikasa in time in his condition. He watched as the soldier – it was Jean Kirschtein – scooped Mikasa up in his arms and disappeared out of sight, not giving a backwards glance to Eren.

_This is my chance, _Levi realized as Eren thrashed about wildly, trying to pull the sword out of his eyes.

He was no match for Eren in his current state. If the Titan-shifter saw him, Levi was pretty sure he would be smashed to death. But it would take at least a minute for Eren's eye to heal.

_Here we go. If I can't cut him out by then, it's all over._

Levi shot forwards, his leg screaming in protest. He thought he would pass out from the pain mid-air, but fortunately he didn't. Relying mainly on his upper body strength, he managed to position himself above Eren's neck.

Eren was still thrashing about wildly. The cut was going to be difficult.

Still, Levi didn't have a choice, and he spun around once, using the momentum to make two deep slices into the Titan flesh.

Eren fell out in a mass of blood and muscle. Levi's cut had taken away both of his arms from the shoulder downwards, as well as most of his legs.

_Oops._

He figured Mikasa would have killed him for a cut like that – but Mikasa had her own limbs to worry about at that point. Levi crashed to the ground, falling to the side to avoid any more pressure on his broken leg, and surveyed Eren's unconscious form.

Though the flesh and lingering muscle was steaming away as the Titan body disappeared, Levi noticed that this time, Eren's form was a lot more deeply entrenched within it. He could hardly make out the boy's face amidst all the muscle that had attached itself to it.

_So this is what Hanji meant when she said the Titan absorbs the body._

Eren hadn't entirely been absorbed, but Levi surmised that with more transformations he would gradually get deeper and deeper into the Titan flesh – to the point where cutting him out would no longer be an option.

_He's too weak to transform on the way back, so I should be okay… but how the hell am I supposed to carry him back to the wall with my leg busted up? If Titans find us in this condition, we'll be fucked. _

Fortunately there were no Titans in their vicinity – Eren had finished them all off. The Female Titan and the Ape Titan had already made their escape.

Levi hoisted the boy onto his shoulders, cutting away excess muscle and flesh with his blade.

_Fucking gross._

He crawled towards the nearest building, his broken leg lagging alongside him, sticking out at a strange angle.

"Levi-heichou!"

Levi looked up at the new voice, heaving a sigh of relief.

"Keiji. Raye. Good timing."

"Hanji-san sent us," Raye said, landing gracefully on the ground next to Levi. "Heichou, your leg! What happened?!"

"My own fault," Levi replied quickly. "It was already weak and I put too much strain on it."

"How's Eren?" Keiji asked, surveying the boy with concern.

"He'll live," Levi answered grimly. "Here. You can have him."

He dumped Eren into Keiji's arms, making a face as he wiped the blood off his hands. "Filthy brat."

"Why do I have to carry him?" Keiji grumbled. "Raye, you carry him."

"We need horses," Levi interrupted. "I can't use 3DMG like this. I can't fight either, so the two of you better be on a lookout."

* * *

_He really does smell like Titan shit, _Levi thought to himself distastefully as they rode out from the village.

There had only been three horses to spare, and since Levi had been crippled, he had no choice but to keep Eren with him; since Keiji and Raye would need to have their hands free to fight any incoming Titans.

It was nightfall, and they made their way to the wall without encountering too much trouble. Raye had bandaged up Levi's leg as best as he could, using a large branch as a splint.

_Still makes riding a bitch._

"Sir," Keiji began, but then hesitated. "Sir, about Mikasa…"

"What about her?" Levi asked him sharply.

"We saw – Jean carrying her, sir," Keiji said. "Her hand, it looked like… looked like it had… what happened to it?"

"It was bitten off by a Titan." Levi gritted his teeth, refusing to specify _which _Titan.

"Those _fuckers_!" Keiji shook his head. "I can't believe it though! Mikasa! I – I kind of thought she was perfect."

"She's only human," Levi muttered.

_As am I. _

"Will she ever be able to use 3DMG again?" Raye asked anxiously.

"Who knows." Levi gripped the reins of his steed, his nails cutting into his skin.

* * *

Jean tightened his hold on Mikasa as they rode back to the wall. She was unconscious, having passed out just minutes after he rescued her. Her hand was bound with white cloth, but the blood had leaked through, and from the strange shape under the bindings, it was glaringly obvious what had happened.

It sent a cold shock through Jean's body, just thinking about it.

_Mikasa lost her hand. Mikasa actually lost her hand._

He couldn't believe that such a thing could happen to her.

_You were the strongest, you were perfect… _

Up till then, Mikasa had never as much as received a scratch while fighting Titans. She was too fast, too agile.

_So how?_

Then Jean remembered, as he glanced at the scar tracing along her cheekbone. He remembered the one time Mikasa had been injured before by a Titan.

He didn't want to believe it. A part of him was trying to convince himself that Mikasa had already lost her hand when Eren found her. But he had seen it clearly himself; Eren had lost all sense of control, and had been moving in for the kill.

A sickening feeling rose in Jean's stomach.

_Don't tell me – Eren… you…_

* * *

"Reiner!" Bertholdt jumped to his feet as a familiar form made its way into the clearing. He wasn't alone though, and Bertholdt felt his heart pound as his eyes fell onto the girl walking behind him. "Annie! Are you alright?!"

"Oh, here we go," Ymir muttered, rolling her eyes as Bertholdt ran up to Annie.

He grabbed her shoulders for a second, and the blonde girl narrowed her eyes. Bertholdt let go quickly, flushing.

"Sorry," he said. "How – how are you?! Armin said that they tortured you!"

"Tortured me?" Annie looked bemused, before turning to Armin who was tied against one of the trees. "So they got you too, huh?"

"I can't believe you Annie!" Armin glared at her. "I really considered you a good person!"

"And now you consider me a bad person," Annie remarked casually.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" Armin yelled. "Where's Eren?!"

"We were never trying to capture him in the first place," Annie replied.

Armin stared at her, pondering. Bertholdt still looked extremely anxious.

"So they didn't torture you then?" he asked, before turning to Armin. "But he said they – "

"He lied," Reiner interrupted. "She was in the crystal the whole time. We should have figured that out. Smart little bugger, Armin. Sorry about this whole kidnapping thing, by the way. How are you now, buddy?"

"How can you talk like that? How can you talk like we're still friends?!" Armin seethed. "I'm not your 'buddy'!"

Reiner ignored him, turning to Bertholdt. "Besides, you should be worrying about me, not Annie. I've lost an arm, parting gift from Mikasa."

"She would." Ymir snorted.

"Mikasa!" Armin cried. "How is she?"

"Pissed off," Reiner remarked, glancing at the steaming stump of his regenerating arm. "She'll be fine though, her and Eren both."

"Here, I'll wrap your shoulder for you," Christa offered.

Reiner looked delighted, but Ymir cut in. "It'll regenerate itself!" she snapped. "There's no need."

"So we rescued Annie," Bertholdt said, "but what about the second part of the operation. Did you manage to inject Eren?"

"Broke my other arm in the process," Reiner grunted. "But yeah. I dowsed my blade in the solution when Annie was engaging him and shoved it into his neck. I don't know if it worked or not, but the Monkey Boss said it would."

Armin narrowed his eyes, listening carefully.

"Can we finally go, now?" Ymir asked. "I'm not a fan of camping out in the forest with you lot."

"What exactly did you do to Eren?" Armin asked.

"It's not a big deal, it will wear off," Reiner said. "Kidnapping him was getting a little troublesome, especially with Mikasa around. This will ensure that he comes to us on his own accord, if things play out right."

"That is, if you aren't bait enough," Ymir added, smirking.

* * *

_Finally. _Levi exhaled loudly as the familiar silhouette of the Scouting Legion headquarters loomed into view.

They had completed their mission successfully, at least the one which Irvin had sent them to Shiganshina for.

_At the cost of Mikasa's hand._

As they cantered up towards the castle, Eren stirred.

"Hei-chou?" he asked, green eyes cracking open. His voice was drowsy with exhaustion.

"Eren. How are you feeling?"

"Fine… just tired…"

"Hm."

"Where – where's Mikasa?" he croaked.

"Back at the castle," Levi said.

"Hm. Okay. And the other Titans – did we – "

"They got away. But that wasn't our objective. We have the box and we made it back. Our mission was a success."

"That's good." Eren rubbed at his eyes, sitting up. "So Mikasa already went back, huh?"

Levi bit his lip.

_He really has no idea. It's going to kill him…_

"It's weird to hear you fussing over her so much," he remarked.

Eren scrunched his eyebrows. "No! I'm not fussing! It's just – she's usually – "

"Around you, worrying over you?" Levi finished for him. "That she is. Though from the way you treat her, I wouldn't have expected you to miss it."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"You're a moron, Eren," Levi informed him. "A brat like you doesn't deserve someone like her caring about you that much."

_And an asshole like me didn't deserve someone like – _

Eren looked at the ground, ashamed. "You know, I – I've been thinking that for a while now…" he murmured.

"Have you?"

"I'll apologize to her," Eren said suddenly. "I've been meaning to for awhile."

"You should," Levi replied curtly.

_If it's not too late…_

Mikasa had to be alive. He couldn't accept the possibility that one more of his team members had died under his command. And though he knew that Jean had rescued her, she had lost a lot of blood, and Eren had given her quite a thrashing.

_No. She's alright. _Levi dug the heel of his good leg into his horse's side, hastening it to a gallop. _She has to be alright._

* * *

Irvin and Hanji were awaiting them at the door, both of them wearing their 3DMG.

"Oh thank goodness!" Hanji cried as they approached. "If you hadn't come within the next two hours we would have embarked on a search mission ourselves."

"I told you not to strain your leg, didn't I?" Irvin looked at Levi's splint, frowning. "You'll be out of commission for three months."

Levi handed over Eren - who hadn't completely regenerated his limbs yet - to Hanji, as Irvin helped him off of his horse.

"I can walk," Levi grunted, as Irvin leaned down to offer support.

"No you can't," the commander stated bluntly. "Hanji, take Eren to his room so he can rest."

"Could I – could I see Mikasa – and Armin, and the rest?" Eren asked.

"You can see Mikasa tomorrow, once you're healed fully," Hanji said sharply. "She's resting as well right now."

"How is she?" Levi asked in a low voice once Hanji and Eren were a safe distance away.

"It's not life threatening," Irvin said. "She's sprained a rib and sustained some bruising from the fall. Also a minor concussion. But that will all heal soon enough, within a few weeks at maximum. The main issue is her hand."

"Will she be able to use the 3DMG again?"

"With one hand?" Irvin cocked an eyebrow. "It's not impossible. An ordinary soldier wouldn't be able to do it, but one like Mikasa could probably manage it if she really tried hard. But it would require intense training, and even if she did learn how to do it, she would be nothing compared to what she was before. She would be a below-average soldier more likely to get eaten than kill a Titan. I don't see myself allowing her to fight in that situation."

"Mikasa will want to fight though," Levi said. "Knowing her. She's as stubborn as Eren sometimes."

"We don't have the time or resources to train her to fight in her condition," Irvin replied.

"I could train her until she's proficient."

"There's a limit to how proficient she can get with one hand, even with you training her. Would you really allow the girl to fight under your command? You know you can't protect her, not with your foot the way it is. She'd become Titan food sooner or later."

Levi's gaze darkened as he limped ahead. There was a long silence as they made their way through the stone-lined passageway.

"She's just one soldier, Levi," Irvin said finally. "Granted she was one of our best, worth an army... and I can't even pretend to understand what she's going through right now. But we got what we set out to and she's just one soldier."

They stopped outside a wooden door. Irvin looked at Levi. "Please get some rest."

"Can I visit her?"

"She's not conscious. The medicine knocked her out."

"I see."

Irvin furrowed his eyebrows. "You seem strangely attached to the girl. Is it because you see yourself in her?"

"It's not that." Levi gripped the doorknob tightly, his fingers pale against the dark wood. "I promised myself I wouldn't let her suffer again on my account."

"What do you mean?"

A shadow ghosted over Levi's face. "Many years ago, before I met you, when I was still –" he trailed off, not wanting to continue.

Irvin nodded though, looking at him meaningfully. "How does your previous life involve Mikasa?"

"Let's go inside," Levi muttered. "I need a cup of tea."

* * *

"You know, you should get your leg looked at first," Irvin suggested, taking his place on a wooden chair besides Levi's bedside.

"That can wait for tomorrow," Levi said wearily, leaning back against the wall and shooting a disdainful look at his bound leg, which was elevated on a stack of pillows. He uncrossed his arms and picked his tea cup up daintily, taking a small sip.

"So," Irvin said. "You were saying something before."

"You know of the human trafficking ring I was – involved with?" Levi asked.

"You took Eren and Mikasa through the trafficking tunnel, didn't you?" Irvin asked. "I was aware."

"My father's favorite pastime," Levi said distastefully. "Sex trafficking, prostitution."

"Go on."

"Well, a certain race of people sold especially well in the market. They were a rarer kind, considered more exotic."

Irvin's blue eyes widened a fraction. "You don't mean – "

"The Orientals, as we called them," Levi spat. "Yes. There weren't many of them, nearly extinct as a race. But they were targeted with a vengeance. One day our spies reported a family living on the outskirts of Shinshigana. The man wasn't of any interest, but there was a woman, and her little daughter. Just nine years old at the time. I sent my thugs out to get them."

Irvin didn't know how to respond. Levi stared straight ahead at the wall, continuing his monologue, his voice dripping with self-contempt.

"The cowardly shits weren't supposed to kill anyone. But then again, my instructions to them were barely detailed. I had other things to worry about. Countless cases like that one. The men never came back, and I dismissed it."

"When did you realize? Eren's court case?"

"When they discussed the incident at court, the time and place seemed to ring a bell in my mind. But I was too concerned about Eren at that time to make the connection or give it much thought. I realized it later, when I was training her. I saw the scar on her wrist – it's a clan symbol of sorts. I'd seen it on – a few other women."

"I see," Irvin said heavily. "Neither Eren nor Mikasa know of this?"

"Of course not," Levi said quickly. "They can't know. Eren looks up to me and Mikasa – Mikasa has just started to respect me as a superior. They would despise me if they knew. Not any less than I deserve."

"Let's not talk about who deserves what," Irvin said gently. "You're not going to get anything out of killing yourself over your past again. I've told you before to just let it slide. All that you can do now is make yourself as useful to humanity as possible."

"And how can I do that now, with this fucking leg?" Levi asked, and his normally calm eyes were filled with anger.

Irvin didn't know how to respond.

"It's my fault you know," Levi said quietly, after a moment. "Mikasa's hand. Hanji had warned me about Eren losing control of his Titan form."

"What do you mean?"

"Eren had been busy engaging the Female Titan and the Ape Titan. I misread the situation, and took that to imply that he was in control, and fighting for us. Perhaps the only reason he hadn't attacked us before was because he had other targets."

"So Eren was the one?" Irvin asked. "I suspected it. Mikasa wasn't conscious for long, but when she was, I did talk to her. She spoke about Shiganshina readily enough and even handed me over the box from the basement. But when I asked her about her hand she closed up and refused to elaborate."

"It was Eren, but it wasn't his fault," Levi said. "He had no idea, Mikasa didn't either. When she asked me to let her go to him, I fucked up. I thought he'd be alright, so I let her go."

"Wouldn't she have gone even without your permission? She has a habit of being impulsive when it comes to Eren."

"I should have stopped her. She was under my command."

"You had no idea. If, as you say, Eren was focused solely on the other two Titans, it was reasonable to assume that he was in control."

"It was fucking retarded," Levi bit out. "I let her go when I should have held her back, or gone myself. I trusted in her abilities a bit too much. It's my fault that she's in this condition."

"Levi…"

"Even Eren. The Imperial dogs put him under my command, and it was my responsibility to put him down if he lost control. I threatened the brat that I would do it – but when it came to it, I failed. I failed them both."

Irvin sighed heavily. "I don't know what to say to you when you're like this," he admitted.

"Drop it," Levi told him. "As long as the rest doesn't come out. She would really hate me if she knew, and Eren would go wild again."

"They have no way of knowing," Irvin said calmly. "You can trust that I won't reveal it. And I'm the only one who knew, correct?"

"You are… now…" Levi muttered, and Irvin recognized the sadness in his eyes.

"She knew?"

"I told her. I had to tell her."

"And she accepted you, didn't she? Despite that?"

"I don't know how." Levi shook his head. "She was always too kind for her own good. Too kind and too trusting."

"She trusted you, didn't she?" Irvin asked carefully. The topic at hand was a delicate one, and Levi had discussed it with him only once before. "That has to count for something."

"She was wrong to. I let her die," Levi said bitterly.

"I don't think she saw it like that," Irvin said gently.

"Do you think you would have seen it like that?" Levi asked suddenly. "If I had killed you, four years ago?"

Irvin looked taken aback. "Why are you bringing this up now? All of that is over and done with."

"I am just asking you a question."

"I don't hold it against you, if that's what you mean," Irvin said carefully.

"I suppose not," Levi mused. "But that's just because you're as fucked up as I am, isn't it."

"Levi." Irvin's face hardened. "There's no need to talk about this now. You're unwell."

"See, but Petra wasn't fucked up like us, you know," Levi said. "She was innocent."

"Nobody that joins the Scouting Legion is innocent," Irvin said. "You of all people should be aware of that. And don't bring our past issues into the picture. You deliberately tried to kill me, and I don't recall you ever harboring such sentiments about Petra or the rest of your team."

"Hm." Levi elapsed into silence, and Irvin was unsure what to say at that point. The tension was thick in the air. Finally –

"A midget like you never stood a chance of killing me in the first place," Irvin spoke up, half-jokingly, trying to lighten the air.

Levi smirked. "I recall I came pretty damn close."

"I was humoring you," Irvin informed him.

"And I wasn't really trying," Levi shot back. "I wonder though, what would have happened if I had gone through with it. Humanity wouldn't have stood a chance against the bloody Titans without you, and it would have been all my fault."

"Levi, you really should rest," Irvin said in a heavy voice. "You're overthinking things. There is no point dwelling on what is done. You can't change the past, no matter how hard you try."

"That's the real enemy of mankind, isn't it," Levi said cryptically. "Our history and how we fuck ourselves over again and again, like an endless cycle. The Titans are probably a consequence of some idiocy."

"I really don't understand you right now." Irvin sighed again, standing up.

"I don't expect you to," Levi told him.

"Please rest your leg," Irvin told him. "With your leg busted and Mikasa missing a hand, that's two of the Scouting Legion's top soldiers gone."

"It's a good thing you're still whole." Levi snorted.

"Don't make such jokes," Irvin told him. "One shouldn't tempt fate."

"What? You think I'll jinx it?" Levi rolled his eyes.

"If my arm gets bitten off by a Titan next mission, I'll end you," Irvin warned him, cuffing him lightly on the shoulder before taking his leave. "_Rest, _Levi. That means no cleaning either."

"I don't see how me wiping windows would put any strain on my leg," Levi protested.

Irvin chuckled. "I'll see you tomorrow. We can discuss the rest of the mission, and more recent developments then."

He left, and Levi found himself feeling a little calmer than before. Something about Irvin's presence was reassuring. He wasn't soothing – no, Petra had been soothing – but the fact that he knew and accepted Levi for his true self was encouraging to the Corporal.

* * *

Eren cracked his eyes open. It was still dark.

_But I'm in a dungeon, and it's always dark here._

He stretched his arms and legs experimentally, feeling for his fingers. They had all regenerated perfectly over the course of the night.

_Still can't remember shit though… _

The last clear memory he had was of Mikasa, being stabbed by blades, and the blood running down her shoulder. The thought of it made him sick to the stomach.

_She's probably okay. Mikasa's tough, and the wound wasn't deep. _

After that, everything was a complete haze to him, like it had been the first time when he had transformed. He couldn't remember anything up until the moment he had woken with Lance Corporal Levi on a horse, riding towards the headquarters.

Eren surmised that he had transformed again (from his initial lack of limbs) and had been cut out, either by Levi or Mikasa.

He made to get out of bed, but was stopped by the cold metal that pressed against his skin. Eren raised his arm languidly, and the heavy chain scraped against the stone floor.

_Huh… that's weird… they haven't kept me in chains, not since before the trial._

As if alerted by the clanging of the metal, Hanji rushed into the dingy cell that served as his room.

"Eren! You're awake?"

"Hanji-san? Were you – standing outside my door just now?" Eren asked groggily.

"Oh no, I just happened to be passing by," Hanji said quickly. "How do you feel? Do you remember anything?"

Eren blinked his eyes. "Can't remember a thing. I transformed, right? And was cut out?"

"Yes, exactly." Hanji kneeled down, looking at him carefully. "Are you sure you don't remember _anything _Eren?"

Eren squeezed his eyes shut, trying hard to recall what had happen. A few vague memories flashed through his mind – pinning the Female Titan to the ground and punching at her face – and then a sudden image from long before, of a younger Mikasa lying besides him in the grass.

Eren shook his head. _That has nothing to do with any of this._

"Eren?" Hanji prodded.

"I – I think I fought the Female Titan," he said finally. "But I don't know how it turned out. That's really all I remember. And I can't recall the fight clearly."

Hanji threaded her fingers together, observing him. "I see."

"Why am I in chains again?" Eren asked her.

"Oh, just a precaution." Hanji waved him off. "Nothing to worry about."

"Could I go see Mikasa?" was his next question. "And Armin?"

"Armin… is within Wall Sina. Running some errands for me," Hanji said. "But Mikasa is awake. You could go see her if you wanted, though-"

"Wall Sina?!" Eren exclaimed. "What is he doing there?"

"It's top secret business," Hanji replied. "Can't reveal it to you. But don't expect to see him for a few days."

"Huh." Eren slumped back against the stone wall. "Well, I'd like to get out of these now, if that's alright."

Hanji nodded, pulling out a tiny key from her pocket. With a series of clicks, his chains jangled to the floor.

"I'll walk you to Mikasa's room," Hanji offered.

"Thanks."

* * *

Hanji knocked on the door softly.

"Mikasa," she called. "You have a visitor."

"Is it Jean again?" the girl asked, and Eren was a little surprised.

_How has that idiot already been to see her?_

"No." Hanji paused. "It's Eren. Shall I send him in?"

There was a silence, and Eren couldn't understand why.

"Mikasa, I'm coming in," he said, barging past Hanji and swinging the door open. It closed behind him with a thud.

"E-Eren."

Mikasa's voice trembled. She was sitting upright on her bed, swathed in blankets. She was staring downwards, her face hidden by a curtain of hair. He noticed that she didn't have her omnipresent scarf with her.

"Hey," Eren greeted, sitting on the side of her bed.

Mikasa nodded at him. Eren looked her over – she wasn't connected to any machines, though her forehead and shoulder were both bandaged. Other than that, she seemed alright, if not a little pale and weak-looking. Eren was relieved that she was okay, though his heart gave a little twinge at seeing her in this condition.

The Mikasa he was used to was always so strong, always on her feet. Seeing her confined to a bed, bandaged and so quiet – it was disconcerting.

"Are you doing okay?!" he asked her. "You were already gone by the time I woke up. Was it you who cut me out again?"

"That must have been Levi heichou," Mikasa supplied dully.

"Ah, okay. How are you though! How's your shoulder?"

"Fine."

"Those fucking _bastards_!" Eren punched the bed with his fist. "I swear I'll tear Reiner a new one the next time I see him, for doing that to you!"

Mikasa was silent, though she lifted her head, finally looking at him.

"Do you – remember it?" she asked.

"Remember it? The transformation?" Eren shook his head. "Barely. I vaguely remember fighting Annie in my Titan form, but that's about it."

"Oh," was all Mikasa said.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Eren asked, studying her face carefully. "You look a lot paler than usual. What's the matter?"

"Nothing."

"I'd have bought Armin here with me but apparently Hanji sent him off to Wall Sina for some business."

"Mm."

"Mikasa?"

Eren raised a hand, pushing her black bangs out of her face and placed his palm against her forehead. His eyes widened. "You're burning up! You have a fever."

"It's nothing," Mikasa said softly.

"No wonder you're not wearing the scarf. Geez, Mikasa, how did you fall so sick?"

Mikasa shrugged, and Eren felt a curl of discomfort in his stomach. There was something very – _weird _– about the situation, about Mikasa's behavior. She was never usually so cold, or so distant with him.

_Is she upset about before? _he wondered. _It's Mikasa though, she never gets upset. Still, I was pretty mean to her. I should probably apologize, just in case._

"Hey, uh – Mikasa?"

"Hm?" Her eyes met his. They were strangely glassy, and it made Eren feel even more uncomfortable.

"I'm – um – what it is, it's that – during the mission I was kind of – stressed and stuff."

She watched him, waiting for him to continue. Eren felt his cheeks flush.

"I kinda – yelled at you, didn't I? Said some nasty stuff. I really didn't mean it, you know. I'm so-"

"You don't need to apologize for that," Mikasa said quietly.

"Huh?" Eren stared at her, his guilt only intensifying. He hated it when she acted like this – so pious, so self-sacrificing, coddling him all the time. "Of course I do! Don't start acting like that _now_! You're making me feel worse!"

"Sorry," Mikasa muttered. Eren was bewildered.

"What are you apologizing for?" he demanded. "What's gotten into you?"

He grabbed her shoulders suddenly, shaking her.

Her blanket slid down, and Mikasa lifted a hand out from under it to pull it back up.

"Here, I'll do it," Eren said, sighing as he made to straighten out her blankets and tuck them back around her.

His hand brushed against her arm, which was still half-hidden under the white sheet, and Mikasa jerked it away.

Eren narrowed his eyes.

"Why are you being so weird? Are you hiding something?"

"Don't!" Mikasa cried, but it was too late. Eren pulled the blanket down in one fluid motion, revealing her bandaged side and her arms.

His eyes went to her waist first, his expression hardening.

"What happened?"

"Just bruised my ribs," Mikasa said after a long moment. She made to pull her covers back up with her good hand, but then Eren spotted it.

His mouth went dry and it felt like the air had been knocked out of his lungs

"Mi – Mikasa?" His voice was a whisper as he stared at the white bandages covering her hand. There was something terribly wrong about the shape and it was _much _smaller than it should have been.

_What the fuck?! How could this happen?!_

Mikasa tilted her head away from him, her bangs sliding in front of her eyes again.

"Your – your hand," Eren finally managed in a whisper. "What happened?"

"It's – useless." Mikasa settled on that word, not meeting Eren's gaze as he stared at her in shock.

"This can't be happening!" Eren cried. "It's your – your hand! How will you fight?! How will you use 3DMG?! How will you – "

He trailed off, unable to comprehend what he was seeing, unable to accept the fact that Mikasa would have to live her life without a hand. She couldn't regenerate like him, though at that moment Eren wished more than anything that she had been granted the Titan power instead of him.

"I won't," Mikasa said simply, in response to his queries. Her voice was flat, dead.

Eren felt sick to the stomach.

"Who – who was it?" he asked finally, his voice shaking.

Mikasa said nothing.

"Was it them?" Eren asked, trying to suppress his rage. "Was it Reiner and Annie, those sons of bitches –"

"It wasn't them," Mikasa cut him off.

"Then _who?!_ The fucking Titans?!" Eren grasped her chin in his hand, but she refused to meet his eyes. "Mikasa, tell me who or what was responsible for this and I swear to you I will hunt them down and tear them to fucking pieces."

"It was just a Titan," she said flatly, after a long moment.

"Just a –" Eren growled, clenching his fists. "Those motherfuckers! I - I'll – "

He didn't have a chance to finish his sentence though, as the door flew open, revealing a furious looking Jean.

"Get away from her, you monster!" Jean shouted.

Eren whirled around, his eyes blazing. "What the heck?! What are you even doing here?"

"You're one to talk," Jean spat at him, and Eren was surprised at the animosity flashing in his hazel eyes.

He and Jean had never been the best of friends, but there was such a look of unadulterated hatred and anger in Jean's eyes. It was all directed towards him and Eren couldn't for the life of him figure out why.

"What the hell is your problem?" Eren demanded.

"Get away from Mikasa. Now." Jean gritted his teeth.

"Jean, please stop this," Mikasa murmured, but neither of them seemed to hear her. Eren was appalled at Jean's words and stared at his nemesis.

"Who the hell are _you _to tell _me _to stay away from her?!"

"If you care about her, even a little bit, you'll keep your distance," Jean said threateningly. Eren was growing increasingly more confused – and annoyed.

"Are you shitting me? Have you hit your head or something?" Eren snapped.

Jean grabbed Eren's shirt, yanking him forwards.

"Let's continue this outside, shall we?" he said lowly, his voice rimmed with anger.

"Jean," Mikasa began weakly. "Please don't – "

"Let go of me!" Eren yelled, wrenching his arm free of Jean's grasp. "What the hell has gotten into you Jean?! Why are you being more of a dick than usual?"

"What's gotten into _me_?" Jean's eyes flashed dangerously. "I'll show _you_."

"Jean – " Mikasa begged, and for a moment Eren wondered why she was on Jean's case rather than his own. He ignored it however, his temper rising at Jean's threat.

"If it's a fight you wanted, you just had to ask," he snapped, following Jean out of Mikasa's room.

"Jean, don't!" Mikasa cried again, but both boys had stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind them.

* * *

The moment they were outside of her room, Jean had lunged at Eren, slamming him up against the wall.

"What the fuck – " Eren choked, hooking his leg under Jean's and causing the boy to loose balance. Jean stumbled a few steps backwards, but managed to right himself, swinging a fist in Eren's direction. Eren caught the fist, pulling his own arm back in retaliation, but stopped suddenly when he noticed the tears in Jean's hazel eyes.

Eren let go of the taller boy, taking a few steps back.

"J-Jean?" he asked. "What the hell are we even fighting about?"

"Mi-Mikasa," Jean said softly, his voice breaking. Eren's eyes widened, his heart palpitating wildly at Mikasa's name.

"Wh-what do you mean?" he asked.

_Why would I be fighting with you about her?_

"You – you saw her hand, didn't you?" Jean asked. His voice was deadly quiet.

"I did," Eren said, still staring at Jean.

"And who do you suppose did that to her?"

Nine words had never done so much damage to Eren in his life. He felt like he had been pierced in a heart with a blade, cold dread and horror pouring over him like ice.

_He can't mean that… _

"She – she said a Titan – she said it was just a Titan – " Eren repeated her words, his entire body shaking violently.

Mikasa had been strangely quiet though, and she hadn't met his eyes even once during the conversation. He had dismissed it as her being upset about how he had treated her.

"Just a Titan," Jean repeated. "She's _still_ protecting you? I can't believe her."

"N-n-no." Eren felt his legs give way beneath him as he slid down the wall, falling to the floor on his knees. "No – it can't be – you're lying – "

"Ask Mikasa if you don't believe me." Jean's voice was barely a whisper, and he kneeled down besides Eren, his fingers finding curling around the collar of Eren's shirt. Eren could see the tears clearly now, running down the sides of Jean's face.

"I came – just in time." Jean's voice was choked. "You would – you would have killed her, if I hadn't taken her away! Even – even when you were attacking her, she – she was worried about you, she was begging you – she – "

He broke off, too distraught to continue, and Eren felt the tears well up in his own eyes. He still hadn't recovered from the shock, as the gravity of Jean's words settled in.

_I attacked Mikasa. I bit her hand off. I nearly killed her this time. The reason she's in that bed with her ribs sprained and her head bandaged_ _and her hand ruined is me. I did it. She can't ever fight again, or even live normally again, all because of – _

"You," Jean growled. "Maybe – maybe you lost control. Maybe you didn't _mean_ to do it. But that doesn't change the fact that you _did._ Mikasa tried her best to protect you and you hurt her more than even possible. And I hateyou so fucking much for it."

"Stop!" Eren clutched at his head, still shaking. "Please – stop – I can't – "

"I've always hated you," Jean continued. "Because she's always looked out for you and cared about you, and all you ever did was treat her like a nuisance."

"N-no!" Eren shook his head. "You don't – you don't understand – I – I wanted to be the one protecting _her_ – "

"And yet, it's your fault she's a cripple," Jean said harshly. "Nice going, you motherfucker."

Eren stared at him, unable to retaliate, unable to say a word.

_He's right. He's absolutely right. I'm trash, I deserve to die, I deserve to – _

Eren barely saw the punch coming, and when he did, he didn't bother turning his head away to avoid it. Pain shot through his cheek, and he could taste the salt of the blood. Jean had broken his tooth, and Eren spat it out.

"It's no good!" Jean was shouting at him. "You'll just fucking regenerate! But you know what! She won't! She _can't! _She has to live like this!"

"You're right," Eren rasped. "But I can still – feel pain."

"What the fuck are you saying?!"

"Go ahead, Jean." Eren wiped away the blood that was trickling down his chin. "I won't – stop you."

And Jean did, punching him twice, and then thrice. Pain exploded in Eren's head, in his chest – but it didn't matter. None of it compared to that pain that was throbbing in his heart.

_It was me. I did that to Mikasa. I fucking – _

"Jean…"

Jean shoved Eren against the wall again, his fingers clenching Eren's dark brown locks.

"What is it, Eren?"

His voice was acerbic, cutting. But his eyes were still leaking tears, and despite everything, Eren couldn't find it in himself to hate Jean at that moment.

"I – I'm sorry," Eren whispered.

"You shouldn't be telling me that." Jean glowered at him. "And words won't help now."

"Wh-what – am I supposed to do?" Eren asked, tears streaming from his eyes. "I still can't believe I – _fuck_!"

"Don't you fucking cry on me now, Eren!" Jean shouted at him, punching him again. "Damn you!"

Eren's head snapped to the side from the force of the blow. He could already feel the tooth that Jean had previously knocked out start to heal.

"You asked me what you should do, right?" Jean said, his voice menacing. "I'll tell you what. Stay the fuck away from her."

"Wh-what?" Eren gaped at him. "No, I can't, that's –"

"All you do is hurt her, Eren," Jean said roughly. "And even if she forgives you, I never will, not for this. I can't – I can't bear – to see her suffer anymore."

Eren stared at him, not saying a word. It seemed to piss Jean off more.

"Stop fucking looking at me like that, Eren!" the boy shouted. "Stop looking at me like you're so traumatized, like you're some fucking victim! You're not!"

He made to punch Eren again, but a new voice cut through the air.

"Kirschtein, unless you'd like my crutches up your ass, I'd advise you to get the hell off him, this instant."

Jean froze, mid-punch and whirled around, before staggering to his feet in a messy salute.

"Levi-heichou! Your leg –"

"Is broken, yes, I'm well aware." Levi limped towards the pair of them on his crutches. "But that doesn't mean I'm any less capable of socking you in the face. Leave Eren alone."

"B-but heichou! You saw it yourself, didn't you? He – "

"I know exactly what he did, better than you do," Levi said sharply. "I appreciate your concern for Mikasa Ackerman, and you did a good job saving her. But Eren is my responsibility, and anything you have to say to him should be directed to me as well."

"There – there's nothing sir," Jean mumbled. "I'll take my leave now."

He rubbed at his eyes with his sleeve and turned around, quickly making his way out. Levi limped over to Eren, who was still on his knees, bruises blossoming on his blood-covered face.

"Pathetic," Levi shook his head. "If he really wanted to beat you up, he should have come to me. I could have given him a tip or two."

There was no reaction from Eren – not even a crack of a smile or the start of a glare. The boy just stared ahead, his turquoise eyes glassy and rimmed with tears.

"Get up, Eren," Levi said, sighing. "Let's go to my room. If Hanji or Irvin see that I've been out of bed, I'll be in for a lecture which I'm in no mood to listen to."

Eren slowly got up, silently following Levi back to his quarters.

* * *

Once they were inside, Eren slumped onto the floor and buried his face in his hands, his body wracked by sobs. Levi made his way to the bed and sat there in silence.

"I – I'm sorry – heichou," Eren choked, brushing away his tears. "Did you – want to see me for – something?"

"It's not a crime to cry, Eren," Levi said, his voice unexpectedly gentle. "God knows I did enough at one point."

Eren stared at him out of watery eyes.

_Of course. His entire squad died. _

"Why do you look so surprised?" Levi gave a small chuckle. "I have a heart, you know."

"I – I didn't mean it like that, sir."

"Forget it. What did Kirschtein tell you?"

Eren's eyes fell to the floor.

"Nothing but the truth," he said in a flat voice. "That I'm a monster. And I hurt Mikasa, permanently, worse than she's ever – " he broke off again, more tears streaming from his eyes.

"You're not a monster, Eren," Levi told him. "I can assure you Mikasa doesn't think you are either."

"How can she not? Look what I did to her!"

"I saw it happen with my own eyes, Eren," Levi told him. "I took her aside after it happened and ordered her to stay away from you. She didn't listen to me, and because of my leg, I couldn't stop her."

"What do you mean?"

"She went after you, using the 3DMG with one hand. She still trusted you and believed in you. She disobeyed my command and went after you, even after all of that. If she thought you were a monster, do you really think she would have tried so hard?"

Eren's turquoise eyes grew wide at Levi's words.

"She – Mikasa really – did that for me?" he asked, his voice barely audible.

"Wouldn't you expect her to? She's always risking her life for you," Levi said.

"She's an idiot." Eren closed his eyes, slumping back against the wall. "She shouldn't have."

"But she did."

"And I attacked her again, didn't I? Even after she lost a hand – no, after _I _took her hand away from her – she – she – _fuck!_" Eren's gripped at his head, his fingernails scraping against his scalp. "Jean was right! It's all my fault! She didn't deserve this!"

"It was her fault as well," Levi said, and Eren glared at him.

"How could you say that?! She – "

"-disobeyed my orders and went after you, even though she knew you couldn't recognize her. You may not have had control over your actions Eren, but she did."

"Still…" Eren shook his head, sniffing. "How can I live with myself after I did this to her? To Mikasa of all people?"

"You'll get used to it," Levi told him bluntly. "I blame myself for a lot of things. You should count yourself lucky that she's alive at least."

Eren stared at the Lance Corporal. Levi's face was expressionless, but his eyes were swirling with regret and grief.

_Of course. Petra-san and his entire squad died. Even though I felt like it was my fault and he told me it wasn't, he probably blames himself for it too._

"I also take partial responsibility for Mikasa's condition," Levi continued. "Hanji-san had warned me prior to the mission that you may go rogue again. I was the one who gave her permission to approach you in the first place. Since you had engaged Annie, I assumed that you were in your senses. It was my shortsightedness that caused this as much as it was Mikasa's stubbornness."

"Heichou…"

There was a silence after that, as both Eren and Levi lapsed into their own thoughts. Finally Eren spoke.

"Is there anything that can be done about – Mikasa's hand? Anything at all?"

"No."

"So – she can't be a soldier or fight now, ever again, can she?"

"Not likely. I already had this discussion with Irvin. I offered to train her into becoming proficient at using the 3DMG with just one hand. A genius like her could even manage it, but her speed and agility will not be anywhere close to what it was before. It would be sub-par, at level with the worst of the trainees to graduate. She would probably become Titan food if she ever faced off against one alone."

"She's going to hate it, you know," Eren said sadly. "She'll have to be separated from me and won't be able to protect me anymore. That'll really get to her."

Levi raised an eyebrow. "Oh? I thought that was what you wanted though? From your behavior during the mission-"

"I fucked up, okay!" Eren snapped. "I didn't like being protected by her because she made me feel like I was useless! But I would never, _never _want anything like this – "

"I wasn't implying that," Levi said quickly. "You wanted to be the one protecting her, didn't you?"

"I always did," Eren admitted bitterly. "I was never good enough though. She was always one step ahead of me."

"If I recall correctly, during your trial Mikasa stated that you saved her life twice."

"In Titan form!" Eren cried. "I also attacked her _twice _in that form! The first time it happened, she didn't say a thing, even defended me to Jean. I wanted to tell her something but I didn't know what to say. She would even hide the scar with her hair, so that I wouldn't have to see it – " Eren broke off, quivering.

"There's no point crying about the past," Levi told him. "You want to protect her now, don't you?"

"I'm _never _transforming again." Eren ground his teeth together. "I would rather die than hurt someone again."

"Titan power isn't the only power there is," Levi said. "There's a lot you can do with the 3DMG if you truly master it. Mikasa herself was a testament to that."

"But I – I'm not anywhere close to as good as her," Eren said in a small voice.

"If I train you, maybe you could be."

Eren's eyes snapped up to Levi's, a glimmer of hope lighting up his face.

"_You?_ Heichou, you really would train me? Personally?" Eren sounded thrilled. "What about your leg though?"

"I can't fight Titans with it, but I sure as well can kick you ass if you don't perform to my satisfaction." Levi leaned over, rummaging in the drawers of his bedside table. "Here."

He tossed a bundle of cloth at Eren, who caught it, surprised. The familiar red material slipped through his fingers, and Eren felt a tug at his heart.

"Mikasa dropped it during the mission. I think she'll be wanting it back."

Eren gulped, old memories flooding through his brain. He nodded.

_The last time I gave it to you, I made a promise to myself that I would protect you. And I failed. But this time before I give it you though Mikasa, I swear…_

* * *

"Any leads on the box?"

Irvin shook his head in response to Hanji's question. It was just the two of them, visiting Corporal Levi's room that afternoon.

"What was the point of sending us on that suicide mission if you can't even open the fucking thing?" Levi grumbled.

"There must be a key," Irvin said. "I spoke to Eren earlier, he still has no clue regarding it's whereabouts."

"I swear, if it turns out the brat forgot the key in the basement…"

"Let's hope not," Irvin said grimly. "With you and Mikasa both out of commission, it would be near impossible to retrieve it."

"Speaking of Mikasa, I was conducting some tests in my lab, and I found something – _interesting – _about her blood test results," Hanji piped up.

"You creep, what the hell do you do in your free time?" Levi shot her a disgusted look.

"What was it?" Irvin asked.

"Well, all the blood samples were normal, of course. Except for Eren's. It had one unusual component, the one responsible for his Titan shifting abilities."

"We already knew that," Levi drawled.

"But then I tested Mikasa's – and I noticed that her blood had an extra component in it as well."

"What?" Levi asked sharply. "Mikasa's did?"

"So far my attempts to completely extract it have been unsuccessful," Hanji continued. "I have no idea what it is. I'm going to run some more tests. But it's composition seemed somewhat similar to the Titan genome."

"The Titan genome?" Irvin raised a thick eyebrow.

"Oh, it's just the name I'm giving to the component in Eren's blood that is responsible for his transformation. The Titan genome. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?"

"I'm surprised you didn't name it after yourself," Levi said wryly.

"I really wanted to!" Hanji confessed, and Levi rolled his eyes. "Moving on… Mikasa's blood doesn't have the Titan genome, but the component in her blood seems to have a similar constituency to the Titan genome."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Levi asked.

"I'm not sure myself. I'll need to run a lot more experiments."

"Could it be – do we have to worry that Mikasa is part Titan?" Irvin asked.

Hanji shook her head immediately. "That's not it. For one thing, her hand would have regenerated by now if she was. Mikasa isn't a Titan. I can guarantee that much at least."

Levi heaved a sigh of relief. "I can deal with one brat like that, but both? They would make me want to kill myself."

"But it's something else, something important, something that probably connects to how the Titans came about in the first place!" Hanji's eyes were glinting maniacally. "If I could just crack it – we could have answers!"

She looked at Irvin pleadingly. Irvin sighed.

"I'm assuming this is an appeal for more funding?"

"Science is mankind's most powerful weapon to defeat the Titans!" Hanji cried enthusiastically, pumping her first.

"More like science was what created the fuckers in the first place," Levi said sarcastically. "I bet that was it. Some psychopath like you screwed up an experiment…"

"Aren't you in a delightful mood today, Levi," Hanji said brightly. "What's wrong? Are you stressed about all the filth that's accumulating on your floors given that you can't clean them anymore?"

"I'll clean your fucking face, you hag – "

"Sorry Levi, I don't think you'll be able to reach that high up – "

"I'll see what I can do about the funding," Irvin interrupted loudly, seeing that Levi looked like he was about the have a seizure at Hanji's last comment. "What about the Armin situation?"

Hanji's previously shining face fell. "He's a good kid. No, he's a brilliant kid. But I really don't see what can be done at this point."

"You lied to Eren about him, didn't you?" Levi asked.

"I had to," Hanji said sadly. "He's in no condition to go running after Armin right now, and his mental state is bad enough as it is. I don't want to risk upsetting him more."

Levi pursed his lips but did not reply.

"You'll have to tell him the truth eventually," Irvin said. "Mikasa and the others as well."

"I will, and I will take full responsibility for lying," Hanji replied. "But Eren is mentally tortured enough already. He can't know that his best friend is missing as well. It will drive him over the edge. Let him reconcile with the Mikasa situation first. She'll be the most likely person able to control him from running away or doing something stupid and impulsive."

"Mikasa can be as stupid and impulsive as Eren sometimes," Levi said warningly. "You don't know, she might side him and decide to run after Armin herself, even in her condition."

"Another reason not to tell either of them. Besides, she needs to rest for at least two to three weeks until her ribs and other injuries heal," Hanji said. "I hate hiding information from people, but it's the best course of action right now."

"I agree with Hanji on this," Irvin added.

Levi shrugged. "Fine. I'll act as if I don't know anything if Eren asks."

"Speaking of rest, I thought I told you to do that too, Levi." Irvin looked sternly at the dark-haired man who snorted.

"Please, Irvin. What are you, my mother?"

"I heard you offered to train Eren on 3DMG."

"I did. He's been under my authority all this time. I should have trained him before, but I was focusing on Mikasa. And I thought that he should focus on controlling his Titan form first, but that plan has gone down the drain so –"

"You are in no condition. I will train him."

Levi looked incredulously at Irvin. "_You_? When will you even find the time?"

"I'll find it," Irvin said. "Your leg will never heal at this rate."

"Eren wants to train with me."

"He's never seen me fight."

"Nobody's seen you fight," Hanji piped up. "Heck, I haven't yet!"

"I've seen you fight." A smirk spread across Levi's face. "And I'm pretty damn sure I'm better than you."

"I'm serious Levi," Irvin said. "If Eren manages to surpass me, then he can train with you. Till then, I'll train him personally myself. He's our greatest hope, after all. It's the least I can do for him."

"I – "

"It's not a request Levi," Irvin said. "It's an order."

Levi crossed his arms, and nodded after a moment. "Fine. But you better keep your word."

"Levi's just sulking because he wanted to teach his spin move to more people, aren't you Levi?" Hanji teased.

"Shut up, Hanji."

"You were secretly overjoyed when Mikasa started using it, weren't you? I saw you. You were trying to hide it by acting all cool, but – "

"Irvin, this woman is senile. _She _is the one who should be confined to her room. Chain her to the bed."

"Stop bickering like children," Irvin said, exasperated.

* * *

Eren sighed as the steaming hot water coursed over his body. Training had been rougher than he had expected. Of course, it had been like that for the last three days. On the first day, he had been surprised to see Irvin there instead of Levi.

_'I've ordered him not to leave his room,' Irvin said. 'I've posted guards outside too.'_

_'Heichou won't be too happy about that, will he, sir?' Eren asked._

_'He'll be furious and he'll probably murder me in my sleep once his leg heals, but that's hardly the concern right now,' Irvin said dryly. 'For the next few weeks, I will be training you personally in Levi's stead.'_

_'Irvin-danchou?!'_

Irvin's training methods had been ruthless. Though Eren had been looking forward to training with Levi - the man was his idol, and Mikasa had trained with him as well; Eren also really wanted to master the spinning technique that Levi and Mikasa had used so effortlessly to slice through Titans – he had to admit that Irvin was a beast in his own way.

Every night Eren would collapse after the grueling sessions, entirely exhausted with his limbs aching all over. He injured himself more than once performing the maneuvers Irvin put him through – fortunately, it never took long for him to heal.

Eren turned off the water, having finished his shower, and grabbed the towel. Once he had changed, he padded silently down the hallway with a heavy heart.

He hadn't seen Mikasa ever since the last encounter with Jean. Irvin had kept him completely occupied with training – he had barely gotten a chance to speak to Levi, whom he bumped into by chance – and he hadn't been able to visit her. Irvin had kept him updated about her health; her ribs were healing, her concussion was nearly gone, but there was nothing that could be done about the hand.

A part of Eren longed to see her, just check on her and see if she was alright. Another part of him wanted to stay as far away from her room as possible. Ever since he had learned that he had been the one responsible for hurting her, Eren had felt such a heavy mix of anger, shame, regret – he didn't think he could bring himself to face her after what he had done.

But it had been three days; and he had become so used to seeing Mikasa on a daily basis ever since she had been transferred to the Special Ops Squad. And now they were all in the castle together. Eren had passed her room a couple of times, hesitating, wondering if he should go in and see her, even if she was asleep, just for a few seconds before or after his training – but he hadn't.

He found himself there again, standing outside of her door. It was nearly midnight.

_She's probably asleep… I guess it's better that she is. I may as well go see her now._

Eren took a deep breath, reaching for the door handle and pushing it open.

* * *

_A/N: I know I'm a horrible person for ending it there. I'm really sorry! It's just I had actually written it as an enormous 20,000+ word chapter and I was advised that it was ridiculously long, so I cut it. Since the next 'chapter' as such is written, I will try to publish it as soon as I can, since I do want that one to be beta-d properly._

_I'm probably going to start developing Levi more and explore his backstory. To those of you who know about the Levi spinoff, even though it's not debatable whether that falls under canon, since Isayama seems to have been aware of at least some of it, I'm going to take it as canon. Hence the Irvin/Levi conversation about Levi killing Irvin. I will go more into detail about that as well, and also how Levi got out of his disgusting past and became the person he was today. (Though I did mention a bit in chapter 1)_

_There's probably an overload of ErenMika angst in this. All I will say is, the next chapter will be angsty as well. But I promise you, come chapter 7, and a lot of you will be very happy. So please don't lose hope in me! I know it's been a harsh read in some cases, but I'm trying to stick to the gritty reality of SnK here. So even if it gets cruel to certain characters, I can at least promise that both Mikasa and Eren will be alive and together at the end of this fic. Though I won't make promises for anyone else. _

_Please review and let me know what you think!_


	6. Losing

_Disclaimer: I don't own 進撃の巨人_

_A/N: Sorry for the wait! I actually had this chapter done ages ago, but then there were some issues and I had to hold off publishing for a bit. Here it is though. Hope you enjoy it. Thank you so much for the tremendous support I have received over the last few chapters, you are all amazing, my readers, and your reviews have been heart-lifting! I love you guys so much! Thanks for sticking through with this. _

_This chapter hasn't been beta-d, though I have proofread it myself (for the first time in my life, haha). Still I am not great at proofreading, so I apologize in advance for any grammatical errors._

* * *

**Losing Control**

**Chapter 6: Losing **

* * *

"Do you want anything? Water?"

"No, I'm fine," Mikasa said softly. "Thank you."

Jean ran a hand through his hair awkwardly. "Don't thank me. It's the least I can do. We're friends, right?"

Mikasa gazed at him out of her inky black eyes.

"Ah – um, forget I said that," Jean muttered, staring at the floor. "You have a limit to how many people you care about and all that. I know that already. But I consider you a friend and it's okay even if you don't –"

"No, you're right," Mikasa said suddenly.

Jean stared at her. "Huh?"

"I – I really don't like getting close to people," Mikasa admitted after a moment. "Because it hurts when they're taken away from me. I've already lost my parents – twice over, in a way."

"Look, Mikasa, you really don't have to –"

"No," Mikasa shook her head. "You saved my life. I'm never going to forget that."

"You don't owe me anything – "

"I know that. But – there was a time, many years ago. I was nine. I'd lost everything, you know. Everything and everyone. I had given up. I just stopped caring about what happened to me."

Mikasa's eyes were glistening, and Jean stared at her, his expression tender.

"Mikasa…"

"Eren saved me then. He saved me and he gave me a chance to start over, a chance at a new life. He made me his family… and ever since that moment it's always been me and him, together."

Jean waited for her to continue.

"I know – I know you don't like him. Eren – he – he's really impulsive. Sometimes he says things he doesn't mean. He also loses control of his emotions, but he tried – really hard to control the Titan, you know."

A few tears streamed out of Mikasa's eyes, and Jean was shocked.

"Mikasa!" he exclaimed. "Oh god, don't cry! I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to pry or anything! We don't have to talk about things that make you upset – "

He handed her a tissue, and Mikasa took it, wiping her eyes.

"I know you can't understand why I act the way I do towards Eren," she said. "But he saved my life, and he was there for me when nobody else was. He was so sweet to me when we were young. I don't know what's going on in his head right now, and I don't know what he even feels about me. I think I'm more of a nuisance to him than anything –" Mikasa's voice cracked and Jean looked at her sadly.

"Please just stop crying, okay?"

"But I'll never hate him, no matter what he does. You have to understand that."

"Mikasa…" Jean sighed. "Why are you telling me all of this now?"

She looked up, her eyes meeting his.

"Because you're my friend."

She looked so innocent when she said it, and Jean's heart gave a wild leap at her words. He stared at her.

"Are – are you serious?"

"Of course I am. I'm not entirely heartless, you know." Mikasa lowered her head. "You saved my life and you've been there for me the past few days, and I'm really grateful towards you. But I – I told you I don't like letting people get close to me because – "

"You'll never lose me," Jean said fervently. "I'll always be by your side."

_'You'll never be alone again,' Eren told her, ruffling her hair. 'I'm here now, Mikasa and I'll always be by your side.'_

Mikasa's heart panged at the memory.

_Where are you now, Eren? I don't see you anymore. I don't know you anymore. You're slipping away… so far away… it's like I'm losing you... and I'm lonely. _

"I'm just really honored you'd actually consider me a friend you know," Jean was babbling, his cheeks flushed.

"Jean." He felt his stomach flutter when she said his name. He knew it wasn't much, but somehow even the littlest things affected him when he was around Mikasa.

"Wh-what is it, Mikasa?"

She gave him a small smile. "You're talking too much."

A huge grin spread across his face. "So we're friends now, right? And we weren't before."

"Yes." Mikasa rolled her eyes. "How long do you plan to stay here till?"

"Do you want me to leave?"

"Well, I'll need to sleep soon."

"Oh! Sorry! I can go now – "

"- maybe in five minutes or something," Mikasa said.

_It is nice to have company, though I wish Eren would visit… why isn't he even visiting me? Could it be that – _

"You're missing Eren, aren't you?" Jean said quietly, unusually perceptive.

Mikasa stared at him. "What are you –"

"I think it's better if he doesn't visit you for a while."

"What do you mean?" Mikasa raised an eyebrow.

"I told him to stay away from you."

"What?! You shouldn't have done that!" Mikasa cried. "What did you tell him?"

"I think he deserved it," Jean said stubbornly. "You coddle him too much. Someone needs to set that moron straight."

"_What did you say to him_?"

"Only the truth." Jean shrugged, ignoring the death glare. "Regarding your hand and how you were injured."

"So he knows…" Mikasa said sadly, slumping against her pillows. "How is he?"

"Still worrying about him?" Jean rolled his eyes. "He's probably really pissed off at me, for one thing."

"Naturally. He doesn't exactly like you all that much."

Jean cracked a smile. "That's news. I always thought I was his favorite after Armin," he joked.

"Please don't bother him about that again, Jean."

Jean furrowed his eyebrows. "So I'm the villain now? Great."

"That's not what I'm saying."

"Fine, fine," Jean relented. "I'd really like to give him a kick in the face again –" he stopped his sentence at Mikasa's expression and hastily backtracked, "-but if it bothers you so much, I won't."

Mikasa's features softened. "Thank you. That chibi heichou has done more than enough of that anyways. I may have to kill him some day for it."

"Of course. I wouldn't want to get on your bad side, would I?"

"Smart thinking," Mikasa told him.

* * *

Eren took a deep breath, reaching for the door handle and pushing it open.

He was stunned at what he saw.

Two pairs of heads spun around to look at him, and two pairs of eyes widened at his appearance.

Mikasa was sitting upright on her bed. Next to her bedside, leaning back on a chair and looking all too comfortable, was Jean.

Mikasa was silent. Jean was the one who greeted him, his eyes narrowing. "Eren! What are you doing here?"

"I –" Eren felt his mouth go dry, and gulped, trying to calm the sick, roiling feeling in his stomach. "I came to see Mikasa."

_Better question – why the hell are you still here in Mikasa's room?! It's nearly midnight!_

Jean looked ready to retort angrily, but Mikasa reached out then, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Jean. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Her voice was gentle, almost _fond. _Eren's eyes were drawn to her hand, and the way she touched him – so gently, so casually, so _naturally. _

As if she were touching Armin, or Eren himself_. _

But Jean wasn't Armin. Jean was different. And Eren didn't know why, but something about seeing the two of them acting so comfortable around one another – like they were _friends, _close friends – made his gut twist uncomfortably, making him feel sick to the stomach.

Jean's face had turned red at Mikasa's touch, and the girl hastily retracted her hand.

"Alright then, Mikasa," he said brightly, getting up. "I'll come back to see you tomorrow, okay?"

He looked rather pleased with himself as he left the room, completely ignoring Eren. Eren was overcome by the sudden urge to punch Jean _hard._

_Freaking horse-face. Who does he think he is? How often has he been visiting Mikasa? And what's with that stupid smile?_

Once Jean left, there was an awkward silence in the room. Eren steeled himself, and walked towards the chair had been previously occupied by Jean and plopped down on it. Mikasa was avoiding his gaze again, but he pretended not to notice.

"So… are your ribs feeling better?" Eren asked awkwardly.

"Yes, thanks."

"And your shoulder?"

"It's better."

"Have you had any other visitors?"

"Sasha came by a couple times." Mikasa's voice was flat, dull. "Connie did too, once."

"Oh, that's nice of them. And – um – Jean, too. Does he come by often?"

_Why do I even care? Why the hell am I asking her this?_

"Once in a while," Mikasa answered vaguely. Her voice was flat. "How have you been, Eren?"

Eren's heart gave a little clench – it had been a while since he'd heard her say his name.

"I've been okay. Irvin-danchou is training me now."

"I heard. That's great."

"Yeah…" Eren trailed off, not knowing what to say.

There was a long silence, and Eren fidgeted with his shirt. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as Mikasa swept a lock of hair out of her eye with her hand – her _torn, bandaged stump of a hand. _It sent a jolt through him just seeing it again.

_My fault. I did that. _

"I – I guess I should go now," Eren said, hastily standing up. "I have training early tomorrow morning."

Mikasa looked up at him. He could see the sadness reflected in her eyes.

_Shit! Why was I such an idiot to bring up training when she can't do it herself! Damn it!_

"Oh – alright," Mikasa said in a small voice.

"Take some rest, okay?" he told her, his voice trembling. He reached into his pocket, and felt the warm, soft material of the scarf slide against his fingers.

_Not now. Now isn't the right time. Not when I'm still like this._

"Mikasa," Eren began. "I – "

_I'm sorry. I'm a monster. I miss you. I wish I could trade places with you. I wanted to see you more, but I was too ashamed of myself. I wanted to protect you._

She looked at him expectantly, and Eren felt a stab of pain - actual physical pain – through his heart.

_Have you forgiven me, Mikasa?_

There was so much he wanted to say to her, but he didn't say any of it.

"I'll see you around."

The sound of the door slamming shut behind him as he left her room seemed unbearably loud.

The last image in his mind as he drifted off to sleep were her eyes – her beautiful, dark eyes – they had been filled with such sadness, glimmering with unshed tears.

He remembered a little Mikasa, with the same sad eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Fuck!" Eren hissed, punching his pillow as he felt his own eyes water, for probably the tenth time in the last couple of days. "Damn it, Mikasa…"

* * *

Eren visited Mikasa's room again, three days later. Both Jean and Sasha had been there at the time. Mikasa was being nice enough to the both of them – and polite to him as well.

But Eren had hated every moment of it.

He didn't know why, but it felt like he was a stranger. It felt like he was as close of an acquaintance to Mikasa as Sasha was, and it bothered him.

Things were awkward between them and there was a growing distance. Mikasa wasn't being cold – but she didn't seem to particularly care either. Except for the fact that every now and then, Eren would cast a glance in her direction, and notice how _sad _she looked. It pained him.

Jean was another nuisance. Eren wasn't sure why, but he was finding the boy's presence exceedingly intolerable. It seemed like Jean and Mikasa were getting closer. Coupled with the fact that Eren felt like he and Mikasa were drifting further apart – it was extremely troublesome.

Eren wished more than anything that Armin was there. Armin would have helped soothe things over. Armin had always known what to do. But he still hadn't returned from his mysterious mission to Wall Sina, and every time Eren pestered Hanji about it, she had refused to divulge details.

Amidst his tight training schedule, he had stopped by Levi's room a few times. The Corporal was usually grumpy, so not entirely pleasant. But the visits were far less awkward than the ones to Mikasa.

"What does he even do with you?" Levi groused, when Eren came to visit.

"He's trying to kill me," Eren replied. "Every single day."

"Oh? It's good I'm not training you then."

"What? Why?" Eren demanded, feeling rather insulted.

"You would have died by now. You couldn't handle my training regime."

"I could, heichou! Why can't you train me?"

"Irvin's orders, brat. Not that I'm exactly dying to train your stupid ass."

"You said you would teach me the spinning move," Eren pressed.

"Did I? I must have been drunk," Levi brushed him off.

"Huh?!"

"How's Mikasa?" Levi asked, quickly changing the subject. "I blackmailed Hanji into letting me out of the room once to see her. You know that crazy bitch put guards outside my room? Or maybe it was Irvin, that sly fuck. How the hell am I supposed to get past these people without injuring myself further?"

"What do you blackmail Hanji-san with?"

"That's none of your business, brat."

"Did you see Mikasa?"

"I did. But she was asleep. That Kirschtein brat was there, sitting in the corner like a creep while she slept." Levi didn't miss the spasm that crossed Eren's face. "Still not a fan of him, are you?"

"He's always in her room," Eren growled. "I don't get why he always has to be there!"

"Isn't Mikasa always in your room when you're sick?" Levi asked.

"Yeah, but…" Eren suddenly felt ashamed.

_I've barely visited her! I should have been doing what Jean was doing. But how could I, after everything?_

"I can't even look at her in the face anymore, heichou," Eren admitted.

"And I can't even look at your face anymore," Levi told him. "Now get out of my room, I'm tired and have seen enough of you for the day."

"But she's acting really different! Not that I blame her…" Eren sighed. "I know it's my fault. It just feels like I'm losing her. I don't like it."

"Well, that's your problem, isn't it," Levi snapped at him. "I hope you didn't come here to cry to me about your relationship problems like some prepubescent girl, Eren."

"No, Irvin-danchou just gave me a break because he had a meeting."

"Hm. Well, I'm saying your break is over, you lazy brat. Go back and practice. I want to take a nap."

"Geez, heichou, you're really cranky when you can't clean – " Eren ducked the shoe that was aimed his way, and headed out the door.

"Next time don't you dare come visit me after training without taking a fucking bath first!" Levi called after him. "You stank up my whole damn room!"

"Yes, sir!"

Eren didn't understand why, but Levi's cantankerous yet familiar behavior had cheered him up a tiny bit.

* * *

Mikasa stretched her arms out experimentally, rotating her hips. She ran her good hands over her stomach, her waist. She could still feel her abs – _thank goodness _she hadn't entirely lost those yet – and she pressed two fingers gingerly into her sides.

There was no pain. Mikasa pressed harder – a small flare of plain, but nothing too serious.

_So my ribs have mostly healed. About time. It took three whole weeks._

Her concussion had gone within a week, and her shoulder was a little sore, but otherwise alright. It frustrated her that Hanji was still confining her to her room.

_I'm perfectly fine now! Other than my hand… _

Mikasa lifted her arm, examining the stump sadly. She wriggled her index finger and her thumb. She could move them now – initially they had been completely numb because of the painkillers the nurses had insisted on feeding her.

_I did it back then. It shouldn't be impossible now._

Quietly, Mikasa slipped out of her bed and headed towards the wardrobe where all her things had been kept. It opened with a soft creak.

Her uniform was there, and her 3DMG.

Mikasa felt a pang in her heart as she ran her hands over the cool, smooth metal.

_It's been so long…_

She picked up the harness and caressed the leather belts, almost lovingly.

_I'm healed now. I could still – _

It was impulsive, and she knew she would get into an enormous amount of trouble if she was caught. But Mikasa had always been a natural athlete. She had grown tired of sitting around in her bed all day, being fussed after.

_The Scouting Legion has been pretty much out of commission for the past few weeks because of all the casualties. But they'll leave the wall eventually. Eren is going to be fighting soon. He'll need me by his side again._

She needed action, she needed to _fight. _Mikasa knew that with her handicap she would be ridiculously disadvantaged when it came to using the 3DMG. But if Eren had taught her one thing, it was never to give up.

_There's nobody out right now. I could try the course… just try it, to see how much I can do._

Mikasa had wanted to ask Levi to train her, but she had heard from Jean that he had broken his leg. He hadn't come to see her either – she guessed he was being kept busy with paperwork, or had been confined to his bed as she was to hers.

_I can do it myself. I did it that time. There's no harm in trying. If I start practicing now, maybe I could figure it out. _

Quickly, Mikasa slipped out of her nightclothes and into her white pants and shirt. It was a bit of a struggle using only one hand, and she fumbled on the buttons. Fortunately her index finger and thumb had been spared, which made things a lot easier than they would have been if her entire hand had been bitten off.

Mikasa pulled on her boots and began working on getting the 3DMG on. This was an even harder task, but she managed it eventually.

"Alright then," she muttered allowed. "Better not get caught."

She walked over towards the window, pushing it open. A cool breeze wafted into the room, and Mikasa shivered slightly. She wished she had her warm scarf with her, but she had lost it during the mission.

_Fitting, I suppose, _she thought bitterly. _I'm losing Eren too, aren't I?_

Mikasa pushed those thoughts back, and focused on the task at hand. Jumping out of a window initially would have been no problem for her, but now, she wasn't entirely sure if she would be able to catch the nearest tree with her grapple hook.

_I can do this. I just have to lean a little to compensate for the loss in balance – even if I can get just one hook onto the tree, it will work. _

Taking a deep breath, Mikasa flung herself out of the window. The air whipped past her face, and she instinctively pressed the triggers, panicking slightly when she realized she wasn't able to press the one on the left. She thrust forwards with her hips, her waist aching slightly from the effort it took, and managed to attach her right hook to the tree. It was a messy swing, and an even messier landing, as she stumbled forwards a few steps to stop herself from falling flat on her face.

Mikasa bit her lip. _It's fine. This is just the beginning. I haven't used it for weeks. _

She remembered how natural it had felt the first time she tried flying with the 3DMG. It had all seemed so instinctive. Even now, the same instinct dictated her movements – the problem was that she was so reliant on both her hands, and it wasn't working out.

_I just have to change my style of using it._

Mikasa jumped up again, this time leaning towards the right and shooting her right hook forwards to make the swing. She managed the make it in time and found herself flying through the air again, relying on her legs for balance. With great effort, she managed to shoot her left hook forward as well by pressing down hard with her index finger – but with not enough force. It glanced off the bark of the tree, and Mikasa was left with nothing for support. Hastily, she dislodged her right hook and shot it out again, managing a messy swing. She was forced to loop around a tree to shoot herself back on track – she was going too far right.

It was an entirely disorganized route and would be wholly impractical if there were Titans around. If ever she was attacked from the right and was unable to swerve away to the left in time, she would be in big trouble.

Still not giving up, Mikasa finally made her way towards the wooden Titans obstacle course. It was about a mile away from the castle; the same one which Levi had made her complete countless times over a month ago while training. She had once accomplished it in under five minutes.

Mikasa stared up at the looming cardboard cutouts ahead of her. They seemed intimidating now. She hesitated.

_What's wrong with me?! I can do this!_

Mikasa took a deep breath, shooting both her hooks into the ground. This part was easy enough, since it was close to her. Then she ran back, stretching the wires taut and shot forwards like she had on her previous attempts to take the course.

She made it straight towards the first cutout and pulled her blades out. Her grip on the left one was weak – she had just two fingers. Mikasa twisted her body so that she was spinning and slashed with her blades. The right blade went through – however, the impact was too jarring for the left one, and two fingers did not give her a firm enough grip. The blade was knocked out of her hands.

Mikasa righted her balance and swung back up, turning around midair to look at the rubber neck of the cutout. There was one clean slash.

_Damn it!_

There was no way she would be able to make the double slashes needed to kill a Titan; her left hand wasn't strong enough and she couldn't get a strong enough grip on the blades with just two fingers.

Mikasa's heart sank.

_If I can't make the parallel cuts, how the hell will I kill even a single Titan?_

She felt tears sting at her eyes as she crashed to the ground in despair.

_No. _Mikasa struggled to her feet. _I can't give up. If you fight you win. _

An idea crossed her mind, and she leaped up into the sky again, this time shooting herself higher up then before. She bore down on the cutout from above, and twisted herself into the tightest and fastest spin she could manage.

She slashed with her right hand, consecutively as she spun around once, and then twice. A spasm of pain shot through her side – her ribs – and Mikasa was unable to continue just then, hitting the ground a second time.

She groaned, sitting upright and looked up at the rubber neck. There were two slashes this time, but amidst the spinning she hadn't been able to space them accurately. They were far too close – the cut wasn't wide enough to kill.

Mikasa felt a wave of hopelessness wash over her.

_I really am useless. Is this all I can do?_

* * *

Eren rocked back and forth on his heels, staring at the wooden door ahead of him. It was nearly 2 am, but he hadn't been able to get any sleep.

_She's probably asleep. _

Nonetheless, Eren had been overcome by a sudden urge to see her. He hadn't, not in the past week. He had been so caught up with his training and Irvin was getting more and more ruthless with the maneuvers he was making Eren do. Still, it was worth it. Eren could tell that he was improving, he could feel it when he used the 3DMG. It had started to feel a lot more natural, a lot _easier. _

Eren finally made his choice, pushing the door open.

The room was empty.

_Maybe she's gone to the bathroom. _

Silvery moonlight streamed through the open window, the curtains blowing in the breeze.

_That's weird, _Eren thought. _She usually keeps them shut because she feels cold._

Then his eyes fell on the wardrobe door – it was wide open. Suddenly, it clicked in his head.

"Mikasa, you idiot!" Eren cried, dashing out of her room. He raced towards his own room and strapped on his 3DMG. It was fortunate that Irvin had been training him till unearthly hours in the morning – his guards didn't question his actions, assuming that it was related to his training.

Once he was outside the castle, Eren took to the air for speed. He flew through the treetops, keeping his eyes peeled for any signs of Mikasa. He was pretty sure he knew where she had headed.

Sure enough, once he reached the obstacle course, he saw her, swinging shakily through the air.

Eren landed onto a thick tree branch, watching her for a few moments. Her movements were jerky and slow, and she was swinging primarily to the right. Eren was reminded of some of the trainees back in the 104th, trainees who had been failed by Keith Shadis.

His heart sank as he remembered her form before, so perfect and fluid.

_This is all my fault. Mikasa… _

Eren watched as she spun towards a Titan's neck, her blade flashing – she was using only one blade – but then the impact threw her off balance, and she swerved to the left. Mikasa released one of her hooks, but it missed the tree she was aiming at by a good few inches, and she began to fall.

"Shit!" Eren shot forwards like a bullet.

* * *

"Damn it!" Mikasa swore, curling her body into the ball to avoid the worse of the impact she knew was coming.

But it never came. Strong arms caught her before she hit the ground. Her savior landed neatly and deposited her onto the grass.

Mikasa sunk to her knees, shakily. The boy crouched down next to her.

"Mikasa? Are you alright?" His voice was filled with concern.

Mikasa's heart gave a wild leap as her eyes met glittering emerald.

"E-Eren…"

"Are you hurt? Your ribs?" Eren looked her over.

"I – " Mikasa felt her face grow warm with humiliation.

_He saw me fall. He saw how badly I failed. _

Unbidden, tears sprang from her eyes.

Eren was astonished. "Hey! Why are you crying?" he asked frantically. "What's wrong? Is it hurting?"

"No," Mikasa whispered, shaking her head. "It's not that."

He laid a hand on her shoulder. His touch was warm, gentle. "What is it?"

"It's – it's too difficult," she choked out finally, before breaking down completely.

* * *

Eren stared at Mikasa in shock, as she began sobbing in earnest. His heart cracked at her pain, and he badly wanted to say something, or do something that would comfort her. He just didn't know what.

_This is all my fault, after all. I'm the source of this entire problem._

"I – I'm so used to being good at it," Mikasa cried. "It was so easy. Maybe I got too arrogant."

"What are you talking about?" Eren mumbled. "We both know it's my fault. I'm so fucking sorry."

"No – no that's not what I meant," Mikasa said immediately. "Sorry – I'm just – it's kind of embarrassing."

"Embarrassing?" Eren was incredulous. "What the heck are you saying?! Mikasa, it's just _me. _You have nothing to be embarrassed about!"

"I failed –"

"So what?! It's not a big deal to fail at something. Everyone does! The issue here is that it's dangerous for you to be out here alone like this, training when you should be resting! If you wanted to train you should have waited till you were discharged and done it under proper supervision!"

"It _is_ a big deal," Mikasa wiped at her tears. "You won't understand."

"Of course not." Eren gave a harsh laugh. "Given the number of times I've screwed up in front of you and Armin and everyone else, it's nothing new for me, is it?"

"Eren, I didn't mean to –"

"It must be hard for you," Eren interrupted her. "You've always been such a genius, right? It must be hard to actually fail at something."

His words hit her hard, and Mikasa stared at him.

"Maybe…" Mikasa's voice was soft, broken. "I wanted to do it. I really did. But maybe I should give up."

"What are you even talking about?"

"I can't fight like this. I can't even make the cuts. I'll never be any good like this."

It was a rarity, seeing Mikasa so vulnerable, so _unsure _about her own abilities. She had never doubted herself or her physical prowess. Seeing her in such a state bothered Eren immensely. He shook her shoulder to get her attention.

"Mikasa! Snap out of it! What's gotten into you?"

"Huh?

"Seriously, don't piss me off. You're saying such absolute crap!"

"Eren, I –"

"You know, it was impossible for me to use 3DMG properly at first," Eren went on. "I kept slipping up. You saw it yourself. Armin was even worse than me. Connie was struggling too initially. Most of the soldiers were. It came naturally to you, but we had to work our asses off to use it even half as well as you could without trying. I guess that's why I resented you sometimes. It just wasn't fair."

Mikasa was at a loss of words.

"But I didn't give up. None of us did. We may not be as good as you used to be, but we all graduated, right? Just because for once in your life, something isn't coming to you easily and you're messing up – that doesn't mean you give up on it!"

* * *

Eren's words rang in Mikasa's head. His eyes bore into her, and his gaze was filled with anger – anger, mixed with something else, which she couldn't quite identify.

_He's right though. I had gotten too arrogant, too confident in myself and my abilities. I guess this is what I deserve. _

Mikasa voiced her thoughts, and Eren smacked his forehead, increasingly frustrated.

"You've got it all wrong!" he growled at her. "You're not even making sense anymore. This has nothing to do with what anyone deserves!"

"But I –" Mikasa dissolved into tears again, and Eren's hard gaze softened.

"Why are you _crying_? _Please, _Mikasa, just stop crying."

Mikasa sniffed, hastily wiping her tears with her sleeve, and Eren buried his head in his hands.

"I _hate _seeing you cry," he told her bitterly, his voice muffled slightly. "Especially because now it's all my damn fault."

"I just – I – I'm sorry, Eren," Mikasa sobbed.

"_What?!" _Eren yelled, snapping his head back up. "Why the hell are _you _saying sorry?!"

"I can't – I can't protect you anymore."

Her voice sounded so heartbroken, and tears were streaming down her cheek. Eren stared at her in disbelief.

"Mikasa, I – " He exhaled deeply. "I don't even know what to say to you anymore."

Mikasa turned away from him, pulling her legs to her chest. It didn't matter because he had already seen her cry, but she didn't think she could bear looking into his angry eyes any more.

"Mikasa?" Eren asked tentatively after a moment, touching her shoulder. "Come here."

"Maybe what you said is right," Mikasa said in a small voice. "But you – you're always so _angry _at me. I just don't know what to do."

Eren didn't respond for a long time. Mikasa heard him sigh heavily after a few moments.

"You've got it all wrong," he muttered.

Mikasa wrapped her arms around herself tighter, shivering slightly. It was getting chillier. Suddenly, she felt something soft being draped across her shoulders. Her head snapped up as Eren placed the scarf around her.

"There you go," he said softly. His eyes were shining oddly. "You were feeling cold, right?"

Mikasa touched the familiar material, her heart lifting. "How did you – "

"Levi-heichou found it, and gave it to me," Eren said. "I meant to give it to you before, but I – forgot." He reached forwards, picking a few stray leaves out of her hair.

"I thought I'd lost it forever," Mikasa murmured.

"Nope."

They stared at each other for a few moments, before Eren took a deep breath.

"Mikasa, I – " he stopped suddenly, furrowing his eyebrows.

"What is it?" Mikasa asked.

"Shh." Eren pressed a finger to her lips, and Mikasa felt her heart skip a beat in spite of everything. Eren, however, seemed more anxious than anything. "Do you hear that?"

_Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud._

It was faint at first, but it was growing louder. Mikasa's eyes widened, and Eren looked like all the blood had been drained from his face.

"Fucking Titans!" he hissed.

The thuds grew louder, along with the sound of trees and branches crashing to the floor. The Titans were moving fast – it seemed like they were running.

"No…" Mikasa moaned. "Why now?! And here?! How are they even - "

"There's no time to think about that now," Eren snapped, standing up and pulling Mikasa to her feet. "Hurry!"

The ground was trembling beneath their feet.

Eren leaned down, motioning to his back. "Get on."

"I can use my 3DMG and I'll only slow you down," Mikasa protested.

"You're delusional if you think I'll leave you." Eren's eyes flashed dangerously. "Stop being so stubborn and get the fuck on, right now."

For some reason, Mikasa found it impossible to argue with him just then. She clambered onto his back, wrapping her arms around his neck. Eren hooked his arms under her legs and shot off into the air.

He was slower than he would have been without her added weight. The thuds grew louder and louder behind them as Eren raced them deftly through the trees towards the castle. It was a mile away though, and Mikasa wondered if they would make it in time.

"Fuck," Eren cursed. "We need to warn the rest of the Recon Corps. The sentries were probably caught off guard, if the bastards managed to get this deep in without any warning."

He swung them under a branch that would have knocked Mikasa out if he hadn't suddenly dipped down and executed a tight swing – she was impressed by how well he was maneuvering them.

_Has he gotten better? He seems to be wasting less momentum with his swings._

Eren's hair was tickling her cheek and she could feel the muscles of his chest move under her fingers as she held onto him. She could smell him too, she realized – a random, wild realization that hit her as they sped away from their death – he smelled like citrus, with a whisk of woody musk. Mikasa found that she really, _really _liked his scent.

_He smells really good… did he just have a bath?_

Mikasa flushed, berating herself for allowing her mind to go off on such an unrelated and senseless tangent when they were being pursued by a horde of Titans.

_What is wrong with me?! I'm never like this! _

The thuds grew louder. Mikasa whipped her neck around, just in time to see three Titans burst through the trees, their ugly faces leering.

"Eren!" she cried, as one of the Titans dove headfirst at them.

"Don't worry!" he bit out, tightly swinging them out of its reach, and it crashed to the ground. He anchored them to a tree, quickly depositing her onto a branch.

"Eren – "

"Stay here. It's safer then the ground." His green eyes bore into hers.

"But – " Mikasa began, and Eren squeezed her shoulders. The Titans were pounding towards the tree, having sighted them.

"Don't worry, Mikasa." Eren's voice was as hard as steel. "I won't let them touch you. I'll protect you this time, okay? I promise."

And before she could say anything, he had flung himself off the branch, right at the mob of approaching Titans.

"Oi! Come at me you bastards," Eren yelled, directing the Titan's attention away from the tree. "I'm right here! Come get me! I'll fuck you up!"

Mikasa felt a stab of fear as the Titans advanced on Eren, and made to follow after him but then hesitated, remembering the time from before.

_He can still transform. But I – I can't do anything anymore. _

She didn't need to though. Eren had already disposed of the first two Titans and was bearing on the third one. His movements were different – he was faster than usual, and his turns and twists were a lot sharper, and more precise. Mikasa's eyes widened as she traced his flying form.

_He's gotten really good!_

Eren had always been talented with the 3DMG – he had graduated 5th after all, from their entire squad. However, Mikasa was used to fighting on another level altogether, a level that was matched by only Levi. Besides, she had always been busy protecting Eren, and when he fought important battles, it was usually in his Titan form.

She had never actually seen him _fight, _by himself, using the 3DMG. She was usually around to assist him or cover for him. He had never really been able to fend for himself, not with her and Levi there.

A few times, Mikasa's heart leapt to her throat as a Titan's arm would whip out of nowhere, or a giant head would jut out at Eren. She almost expected him to miss them, slip up – that's what had always prompted her to come to his rescue earlier.

But she couldn't. And he didn't. Mikasa didn't know what it was – training from Irvin, or just pure determination – but Eren didn't make a single mistake, slicing down Titan after Titan.

He wasn't like Levi, who was a whirling, Titan-killing tornado. He wasn't even like her, or what he used to be. But he was getting the job done, his movements swift, quick, full of _anger. _

_He's right, _Mikasa thought wistfully. _He's grown up and maybe – maybe he doesn't need me to protect him anymore… _

There were more coming though, crashing through the forest. Mikasa wondered why the Scouting Legion soldiers hadn't come to their rescue yet – they must have heard all the commotion.

She realized why, as another group of Titans crashed through the forest form behind them. They had come from the side of the castle.

_They've invaded from both sides! _

Mikasa panicked – the Titans were cutting off their escape route. Eren whirled around at the intrusion, sighting the new group of Titans. They were too many, and they would be surrounded soon.

"Mikasa!" he yelled, as he landed atop a ten meter class Titan's head. "Do you think you can make it out by yourself? If I distract them?"

Mikasa couldn't answer him though, because at that moment, one of the Titans, a fifteen meter class charged towards her tree. It swiped at her with its hand, but she rolled away and dodged it. However, the impact of its hand broke the branch.

Mikasa cursed as the wood cracked beneath her feet. She shot up into the air, and another Titan swung at her. She swerved away to the right, and tried shooting her left hook out towards a tree so that she could right herself.

It missed.

Mikasa gave a cry as she hurtled downwards, landing on something hard, fleshy. The Titan's large fingers closed around her and Mikasa felt a sharp pain lance through her body.

"MIKASA!" Eren flew towards her, his eyes wild as he slashed at the Titan's fingers. "YOU MOTHERFUCKER! DON'T TOUCH HER!"

It's grip loosened, and Mikasa felt herself slipping. But Eren managed to catch her yet again, dropping to the ground. The Titans were closing in on them.

"E-Eren – " Mikasa felt her whole body shake.

"I promise," he told her, his eyes shimmering in the moonlight. "I promise you'll be okay. I'll figure something out. Just – just trust me."

The Titans faces loomed above them, and Mikasa reached for Eren's hand, squeezing.

"Eren – they've surrounded us."

* * *

Mikasa was trembling, and her voice was barely a whisper. She was afraid. Eren could see it.

_Fuck! No! It can't end like this! I have to protect her! _

There were at least ten Titans of varying sizes, closing in on them. There was no escape. Mikasa could barely maneuver her gear, and it would be impossible to try dodging by flying through them – Eren was too slow with two people and there were too many Titans. It would be too big a risk.

The Titans began leaning down, their hideous faces stretching into grins as they reached out.

Mikasa's nails dug into Eren's skin and she gripped his jacket with her other hand.

"E-Eren… th-thank you…"

Her words stunned him, and he stared at her.

Mikasa's dark eyes were sparkling with tears, and she looked absolutely helpless, utterly terrified_. _And yet, despite all of that, she was _smiling _at him.

"Wh-what are you saying?!" Eren choked out.

"Thank you for being there for me all these years, Eren!" Tears leaked out of Mikasa's eyes, and her hand came up to touch the red fabric around her neck. "Thank you for wrapping me with this scarf! Thank you for -"

"No!" Eren interrupted her harshly. "Don't say that! Don't say goodbye!"

_I will not let it end this way. I will not lose you too. _

Eren wrapped an arm around her, pulling her towards him, and Mikasa buried her face in his chest.

He felt a sudden burning sensation within him. It felt like liquid fire was coursing through his veins, running down his hands to his fingertips.

"It's just a stupid scarf, and I'll wrap it around you as many times as you want me to! So don't say goodbye yet, Mikasa, because we're always going to be together!"

* * *

Mikasa shuddered against Eren, her heart pounding rapidly.

_Fight! Fight! Fight! _Her brain was screaming at her fight, but she lacked a hand, and her ribs were paining her again.

"Do you really – mean that, Eren?" she asked. His words had made her heart flutter, and had filled her with such hope; after all, she had wanted nothing more from him, all these years.

But why did he have to say it now, now that they were going to be torn apart?

Eren's arm was around her shoulder. "Don't you trust me?" he whispered into her ear. Mikasa nodded numbly.

_Eren… I'm sorry I couldn't protect you… in the end… _

His hand brushed lightly over her hair. It was warm, warmer than usual. Mikasa looked up, her eyes widening.

Eren's hands were wreathed in what looked like flames.

* * *

_I don't care what it takes. This time, I will protect you, Mikasa._

Three of the larger Titans reached towards them, and one of the smaller ones charged ahead from under their legs.

Eren curved himself around Mikasa, shielding her with his body. His hands were on fire – _literally _– and he had no idea how it had happened, or what to do.

A Titan swiped at them, at Mikasa.

_Don't fucking touch her. _

As if on instinct, Eren lashed out with a fiery fist, blocking the Titan's enormous hand with his own. It was a crazy thing to do, absolutely crazy – but what stunned Eren more than anything was that it seemed to work.

The Titan stopped its movements and staggered back. Eren couldn't believe his eyes.

_What the hell did I just do?!_

The air around them rippled as the flames on his hands grew larger and hotter, torrents of steam billowing around them. It grew so thick that Eren could barely see the Titans, only make out their general shapes – still far too close for comfort.

For a second he thought he saw something strange, but he swore that his eyes were playing tricks on him. Amidst the chaos, it looked like two of the Titans that had been hell-bent on attacking _him _had turned on the third Titan – the Titan that he had just punched. They seemed to be grappling with it, _eating it._

_What the fuck is going on?!_

More Titans advanced on them, as the smoke began to clear. Eren's hands were still on fire, though the flames seemed to be dying now.

_I have to get Mikasa out of here._

Seeing no other option, Eren bought his hand to his mouth. The steam singed his lips, but Eren ignored it. He bit down hard, just as the five meter class Titan that had been charging at them emitted a loud screech and jumped over them entirely, latching its teeth around the leg of the Titan that Eren had just punched instead.

_What the - _

There was a flash of light.

* * *

Mikasa squeezed her eyes shut at the blinding light, cracking them open a few seconds later just to see Eren's Titan form materialize in front of her. With a deafening roar, Eren slammed himself into three of the Titans, knocking them away. He whirled around then, and kicked two of the smaller Titans that were scampering towards them, sending them flying over the treetops.

Mikasa watched him with a mix of awe and rising fear. Eren was roaring furiously, his bright green eyes glinting maniacally through the curtain of dark hair. Even the Titans seemed afraid of him. Whereas during his previous transformations, the Titans had always been drawn towards eating Eren, this time, they seemed to be reluctant to attack him.

Eren lunged at them, fighting them all – kicking, biting and tearing at their flash. The Titans struggled against him, but somehow, despite the chaos, Mikasa noticed that not one of them was making an offensive movement to attack him.

_How can that be possible? Are they afraid? Do they even know the meaning of fear? _

Eren's enormous, muscled form was dripping with steaming blood as he attacked Titan after Titan, killing them all in a relentless rage.

_This is my chance! I should get away! If I want to live, I should leave before more come. _

There was a clear path ahead of her through the forest. None of the Titans were taking any notice of her since they had all converged their focus on Eren. They weren't attacking him – but they weren't fleeing from him either, which Mikasa found rather eerie. It was as if they were content to just stand there and allow him to massacre them, one by one.

Mikasa didn't have time to dwell on it though.

There were only five Titans left – Eren had killed the rest of them, leaving the nearby area littered with dissolving chunks of flesh and pools of blood.

Mikasa struggled to get up, but a lancing pain seared through her body, and she fell back to her knees.

_It's no good! My ribs! I think one of them is cracked!_

Mikasa looked back over her shoulder frantically at Eren, just to see him finish off the last of the Titans. He gave a victorious bellow, smashing his foot into its neck.

A series of thuds echoed to the forest, from the direction of the castle. More Titans were coming, undoubtedly drawn by the commotion of the fight.

Mikasa panicked, crawling towards the tree. Eren was glancing around, his eyes flashing wildly.

_Don't look here. Please don't look here, Eren!_

Mikasa felt guilty for having such thoughts, but she couldn't help it. When he was in Titan form, he had attacked her twice, after all. Though she trusted the boy inside the enormous Titan, Mikasa wasn't sure if Eren was himself. And she wasn't sure if she could talk him out of whatever mindless rage he was in.

Eren took a few steps in her direction, attracted by the sound of the increasingly loud thuds. His head was whipping about, searching.

And then he looked down, his gaze falling upon her. Mikasa's heart leapt wildly.

Eren leaned down, snatching her up with one quick movement. Mikasa twisted in his grasp, but he wasn't letting her go. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw more Titans crash into the clearing.

The monstrous face grew larger and larger in her vision. She could see rows of jagged teeth, gleaming silver in the moonlight.

"E-Eren," Mikasa begged. "Please…"

The green eyes flashed.

* * *

"Jean. Jean!"

Someone was shaking his shoulder. Jean groaned, rubbing at his eyes.

"Jean, wake up!"

"Connie," Jean muttered, recognizing the voice. "What do you want?"

"It's the Titans! We're under attack!"

Jean's eyes flew open at Connie's words, and he leapt out of his bed, dragging the sheets with him. "How the hell did they get inside the wall?!"

"It's happened before," Connie said, pulling frantically at the belts of his 3DMG. "At Castle Utgard, remember?!"

Indeed, the sound of thuds and crashes rent the air.

"Fuck," Jean swore. "Mikasa!"

"Jean, wait!" Connie scampered after him as Jean raced towards Mikasa's room.

"Mikasa!" Jean yelled, flinging the door open. His hazel eyes widened at the sight of her empty room. "Where the fuck is she?!"

"Yo, calm down," Connie told him. "They may have already evacuated her or something."

Jean's eyes were drawn to the open window. Outside, he could see a group of soldiers engaging four large Titans. Another mob of Titans was headed further into the forest.

Jean tightened his 3DMG belt, and jumped onto the windowsill.

"What the heck are you doing?!" Connie yelled.

"I can't lose her, Connie. You don't understand."

"Jean, I understand man, but you can't go after her all by yourself! With all these Titans out there! That's crazy!"

"Inform Irvin-danchou that Mikasa is missing," Jean said curtly, before leaping out of the window.

* * *

"What the heck?!" Connie gaped after his friend, as Jean jumped out of the window and zipped straight for the forest.

There were other soldiers there, and Titans too. He wouldn't be alone.

"You really care about her, don't you?" Connie wondered aloud, before running back through the hallways. "Danchou! Irvin-danchou!"

He finally came across the man, accompanied by a limping Levi on crutches.

"Irvin-danchou! Levi-heichou!" Connie said breathlessly, saluting.

"Have you seen Eren?" Irvin asked him quickly.

"I haven't, sir," Connie cried. "Is he missing too?"

"Missing _too_?" Levi asked sharply. "What do you mean?"

"Jean and I just went to Mikasa's room and – "

"Fuck," Levi swore, turning to Irvin. "What did I tell you?"

"I'll go look for them at once," Irvin said, his face grim.

"I'm coming with you," Levi said.

"You'll end up killing yourself."

"I'll manage."

"Don't be stupid and have _some_ faith in me."

"I'm telling you, I recognize those roars Irvin," Levi insisted. "He's transformed again."

"I'll deal with him Levi."

Connie watched with wide eyes as the two high ranking officers argued amongst themselves. Levi continued to protest, but Irvin wasn't having any of it.

"You're evacuating underground Levi, and that's a command."

Levi scowled, but did not argue this time. "Stupid fucking brats," he muttered darkly. "They chose now of all times to go on a romantic fucking walk in the park? I'll thrash them both when they're back, Mikasa too. I don't care how injured or heartbroken she is."

He limped away, and Connie looked up at Irvin.

"Danchou. Jean went to look for Mikasa."

"Come with me Connie," Irvin said. "Which way did Jean go?"

* * *

_Where are you?! Where the hell did you go?! _

Jean swung through the trees, searching frantically. The rest of the Recon Corps soldiers were busy fighting the Titans that had convened around the castle, and Jean flew over their heads, avoiding combat.

He could hear the familiar roars, and he followed the pack of Titans that were stampeding through the forest. They seemed like abnormals, every single one of them.

_That sounds a lot like Eren. Don't tell me Mikasa followed him again! What the fuck is that girl thinking?!_

Jean put on a burst of speed, gas pouring out from behind him as he flew over the treetops. He had nearly caught up with the Titans now, though he wanted to avoid engaging them until he found Eren and Mikasa.

He finally caught sight of Eren's large, muscled form, streaked with blood. Around him were the steaming corpses of at least fifteen Titans.

_How were there so many of them here already?! Did they attack from both sides?!_

The Titans ahead of him thundered towards Eren, who had raised his fist. He was holding something in it.

Jean's heart gave a terrible lurch as he recognized the figure – black hair, a familiar red scarf.

Eren bought his large hand to his face, razor sharp teeth parting as he opened his mouth.

"No!" Jean shouted desperately, lunging forwards. "Mikasa!"

He was too late. Eren's mouth clamped shut around Mikasa's struggling form.

"_NOOOOO!"_

* * *

___A/N: That was a terrible way to end, ahaha, I'm making it into a bad habit, aren't I? Poor Jean. Poor Mikasa. Poor Eren. I promise, this will be the last angst-ridden chapter. Next chapter will have fluff. Lots of fluff. Seriously, chapter 7 is probably my favorite and has this one scene which basically inspired me to write this entire mess in the first place (only the fluff parts have been written though and I'm terribly busy with college so cannot promise a publication date though I will try to do it as soon as I can!)_

___**(CH 49/50 SPOILER ALERT)** As you could tell, I rewrote some of the ErenMika dialogue to include the epic quotes from SnK chapter 50. I also added the bit about him controlling Titans. At first he just beat them up in his Titan form, the whole weird Titan obedient behavior wasn't a part of it. Though I totally wrote this piggyback riding scene like months ago, so I was thrilled when it actually happened in the manga! Also, Mikasa using 3DMG with one hand... so I planned her doing this before ch 49 was released, but then ch 49 had Irvin using it without an arm, so I figure it is possible to use 3DMG without one limb, though of course the use would be highly limited. _**(END SPOILER)**

_I hope some of the people who were worried about Eren's weakness are happy now. I always planned to make him stronger, in many ways. I just wanted to make it a gradual growth so I could explore other parts of his character. Now onwards, Eren will be badass! (and I suppose in the manga he will be too, what with... yeah...) ____A_lso I know Mikasa's handicap is painful for many of you, but all I will say is... trust me, please. 

_Oh and Eren's scent... yeah, that's canon. Those new SnK perfumes Japan came out with? That's what Eren's smells like! Yummy._

___Please leave a review, my lovelies! See you next chapter! _


End file.
